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my lifes a fucking joke

Posted by J R at April 15, 2012
Tags: 2012 April  Attitude

it aint hard to fucking tell my life is a complete joke. i have moved around as a kid and always tried to impress my "friends" although thinking back on it they were not friends at all. when i was a young i just accepted being fat. like it was just my roll and to just laugh with people about it, well boy was i fucking wrong when you accept the roll of being a clown that is all people see you as, a clown. so my entire childhood while people were gaining relationship skills i was just a funny friend. well im 18 now and iv'e never had a girlfriend hell iv'e never even kissed a girl. my biggest problem is confidence, i can hang out with a girl no problem when im with my friends. hell even alone i have taken a girl out on a few dates but i just don't have the fucking confidence to try anything. i feel this is my biggest flaw, i wait to long to make a move and by then it is just to late. at first it was to awkward for me to really make a move im guessing because im shy but once i build the confidence to even consider it by that time the girl becomes uninterested in me and moves on, usually to a complete asshole and doesn't refrain from telling me all about him thus making me feel like even more of a piece of shit. this has happened to me 2 different times now and i just feel completely fucking pathetic knowing that no one is interested in me. i used to be really overweight but im losing weight now and it is noticeable but sometimes i feel the reason i cant get a girl is because im fat, then i see far more unhealthy people then me living a perfectly normal life. I guess im always just looking for an excuse for me to be lonely, at first it was my lack of a job, but once i got that nothing changed, then the fact i had no car yet now i drive a caddy and am still lonely as hell, my most recent belief is my weight. i know it is probably just me but i feel being a genuinely good person isn't going to get me a girlfriend as i have tryed and they just assume im looking for friendship... ughh idek anymore i just want something more in this life, i cant handle thinking essentially every day is the same boring useless shit.


Votes:


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Comments:
By anonymous at 15,Apr,12 23:08

You are your worst critic. Keep your chin up. Soon, someone out there will accept you for you, fully and wholeheartedly. When you freeze up around a girl, ask yourself "what do I have to lose?" and just go for it. If it doesn't go well, please don't be so discouraged. It just means she's not the one. So pick yourself up, and smile. YOU AT LEAST TRIED! :)

You deserve to have a genuine smile. :)

-K
By anonymous at 18,Apr,12 22:47

thanks this means alot, and thats just it, im pretty sure someone has accepted me for who i am but im always to much of an idiot to notice it until its to late and they move on while i get another female friend..


By anonymous at 15,Apr,12 23:17

You might try telling your next date: "I'm not much of a talker, but I really like you. May I kiss you?" She might be as nervous as you. Been there.


By Coralyn at 15,May,17 02:17

When you think about it, that's got to be the right aneswr.


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