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untitled story

Posted by Old at April 18, 2012
Tags: 2012 April  Attitude  Sociopathy

So, I turned 30 not to long ago and I feel like a complete failure in life. I never had a girlfriend and I haven't in years because I have an extreme case of social anxiety. I did graduate college but with a worthless degree and worked a little bit for a year then my dad got sick and i had to take care of him for several years and during that time i was in my early 20s and i could not work because i had to take care of him. I couldn't ask any girl out on dates and they all would talk about how they wanted a boyfriend but just not me. For several years I never really complained about my life to anyone and kept things to myself except i had to take some anti depressants i got from a doctor to help get me through the day. I guess later on i had even more stress that my mom got sick too and so i dunno i don't get much help from anyone. my brother drops by sometimes and always says he will help and sometimes his wife would give me that loser look but they never do anything in terms of support. well recently my parent have been a little healthier to take care of themselves. so i guess now i am somewhat free to look for a job again but it's been so many years since i worked and I feel pathetic with no skills. I guess even a typical 18 or 19 year old would have more job experience than me. I really hate my life and I guess im just hear to vent . I really need to get over my social anxiety but i really get no support my parents pretty much even when their sick they call me an idiot and pathetic even though i sacrifice my youth for them. I really don't know what to do anymore and i am old now so the world is scary to me . I wish i was younger but you know it is what is and I guess i have to make the most of it. Anyways, I just wanted to vent and all and thank you everyone for reading.


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By Ann at 18,Apr,12 16:07

I think some part time course, to start with, would be something. This way you could begin to get out of your shell. It won't be easy and I know it as much as you do. Try and see if there is something you would like to do. It is never late to learn a new skill. As for the anxiety, one step at a time. And I really mean it! Hearing negative comments will never lift your self confidence, so try to avoid it. It is easy to say but I too was beaten down when I was a teenager.. up until I decided to leave my home and be independent. I will never be over this but at least my family's attitude has changed to a lot better. I think they needed to see, I can be on my own.

By anonymous at 18,Apr,12 19:12

Wow you are the guy version of somewhat...
I too just turned 30 and seem liked my past is better than my future....
Hang in there buddy... If you are a christian then seek GOD for help and know you are never alone.
ANd do not say your degree is worthless cause the fact you actually finish college is something to be very proud of. I also finish something that is not giving me any job.
LOst all the friends and just broken up with a guy who was my everything...
But I decided to just focus on GOD and its hard cause I still am struggling here and there.
I will pray for you. GOd bless
By anonymous at 19,Apr,12 00:31

Keep up the good fight sister ! It is refreshing to this Christian man to see a girl talk about how her Christian faith has sustained her through some of her trials.
By anonymous at 19,Apr,12 01:24

Im still struggling but ty... were u the one who posted this?

By at 18,Apr,12 21:41

Stick with other socially awkward people. They won't even notice. Worked for me for years. I'm not as panick-y crazy agoraphobic anymore.

If not socially awkward people, hang out with others you wouldn't normally. Bottom of the food chain type. Not like thieves and thugs but people who never got a chance because society was just all "oh, you work at mcdonalds, you're worthless" "you had a kid at 17? Slut." They are waaaay slower to judge and so much more pleasant that the sarcastic snide people I'm sure you're use to.

You'll miss the wit and conversation but the new people are better people. They don't care what college, they'll be proud of you for going, they don't care what job you have/don't have, they'll be understanding for your family. Have to look in the cast offs for the really good people.

When you find them. Way easier to go ousde, do stuff.

By Daniel at 19,Apr,12 07:30

Don't upset. I'm ukrainian and we're all such losers in this goddem country.

By Cursed at 19,Apr,12 14:04

Dear Old-
Your not that OLD yet! Geeez Louizzze! Thirty is the NEW 20! Didn't you hear??? So in anycase, as far as a career goes- I think you'd rock as a caregiver/licensed nurse assistant? You've been taking care of your folks for the last ten years, so you have a knack for it? I took a course for getting licensed to become an LNA. It was not terribly expensive, and the course was done in three months. I've always been able to find work as a nurse-
Getting my LNA license was the best decision I ever made! My four year college degree: NOTHING- completely useless. As I said, find a skill that you enjoy- and go for it!
Don't just throw yourself into "classes" because unless you graduate with an actual skill- your not "EMPLOYABLE". At least that is what I have learned....
In the WORLD TODAY, there is no such thing as "JOB SECURITY", but with the rising numbers of people aging in the U.S. and everywhere else- there is ALWAYS work...
Good luck!

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