I feel so alone...
When I was a child, maby 4 years old... my older brother used to rape me. My mother then noticed but she didn't tell anybody about it so I had to keep the secret with me.
I still live with my brother and my mother and the rest of my family, now they all know about what happened but they decided to forgive him and think I'm a happy person because I have a house, and they love me, and they treat me right.
My brother stopped touching me like 12 years ago... more or less. I'm 17 years old right now.
But sometimes it's hard to live whit them.
I have a long-distance relationship, because my boyfriend moved... He told me he would come back like hal-year ago but he never did.
Sometimes he gets angry and he gets a little rude with me... sometimes he call me "whore" or "stupid ungrateful child" (he's 22)... then he telle me he loves me, but he still keeps hurting me saying he will come back here when he won't.
He tells me that I'm a sick person and nobody will love me the way I am (I have a neurological disease: headaches, psychosis or being depressed), that any guy who talk to me only wants to play with me or fuck me... but he's the only one who loves me.
My life sucks so bad... I'm sick, I'm alone, my family doesn't have money, my boyfriend treats me bad (even though I love him), I remember when my broder raped me every goddamn day of my life.
I'm doom to be unhappy forever. | |
Even though iam super depressed most of the time iam glad to say there's still a little hope in me that things will get better :)
I'm glad sometimes... in a couple of months my brother will move to another house with his girlfriend. Maby I'll move too, but with my dad.
I finally broke up with my boyfriend. Even though I feel like shit I think I'll be better.
It seems like things are getting better.
Maybe you will never read what I'm posting, but if you read this... I wanna tell you that your short comment remind me something I knew: I can do much better.
My boyfriend lied to me and made me believe he was about to came back when he wasn't.
I'll find someone better, but he'll never find someone as good as me.
here is my mail vazric@yahoo.com
i live in us. la .
if you like to talk sometimes just write me :) i will be happy to hear u :).
and dont forget your sex is yours and thats the powerful thing u have , dont give to any shit. im boy i like to sex to but i rather u kick my ass 2 if i want 1 night sex .
think about what u are and what r u doin.
imagin the grater in your life .
forget yesterdays that were painful.
remember good moments when u r sad.
make connection as much as u can . but control ur relationships carefully .
take care honey.
What kinda moron insults someones spelling and then misspells simple words themselves?
Fucking Idiot
You said your brother raped you. But it's in the past' right? When he was only a silly kid, right?
Yes what you've experienced were painful, but I think your bro and yourself and what you've felt in your life are in need of a heartfelt forgiveness. Your mother could forgive him. Why don't you? If you wanna say you have, then keep trying if you haven't succeed. I say this a bit sharply because i want you to move on and have a look on this exact moment.
About your bf, i can say you're lucky enough. I guess he really wanted to own you selfishly by saying that. Don't take his words seriously, if you're not worthy why he kept coming to you? It's a useless trick.
If you can't stand with him, find a new guy.
And always know that i hope what's best from you from here
He is more then likely to rape another child if he did it to you !
Your mother didn't protect you and shame on her !!
You need to get out of that unhealthy house or the cycle will continue .
You are not a child anymore so you have 2 choices in life ...
Love yourself and find people who know how to respect and love one another
Or
Stay in the cycle of abuse
If your b/f treats you like crap then leave him !
Why do you let others miss treat you ?
People will not help others who do not help them self .
So if you really want change in your life then YOU need to do it and not depend on others .
PoIuYt
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