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the relationship that never was

Posted by anonymous at April 26, 2012
Tags: 2012 April  Relationship  Sociopathy

My life sucks. In perspective of everything else, it is a pretty good life, but I can't help but feel sad and depressed. You feel what you feel I guess. There's no stopping it. Any advice will help. Please be considerate.

So it goes like this. It's a relationship that never happened. I don't know if many people have this sort of problem, but I am heartbroken over something that was never there. We met at the beginning of my senior year, officially. I had always known him because he's star of the school (captain of soccer team, president of the student body, lead in the school play). He is certainly impressive, and I had always wanted to get to know him but never had the chance. It didn't use to bother me much. But suddenly, at the beginning of this year, I could tell he was impressed by my academics. And he wanted to get to know me better. Everyone loved him. But he wanted to talk to me! It was a fairytale. I've made a couple of moves to try to talk to him, and he reciprocated.

That's the problem.

When he tries to talk to me, I freeze and panic. I can't seem to think of anything. He would stand next to me and smile, but he never initiates the conversation. I wish he was more blunt, but that's not his personality. He would just stand there and watch me. He stares at me in the hallways until it gets awkward. The reason I don't talk to him is that I think he'll realize that I'm not as cool of a person as he THOUGHT I was. Then I'll ruin the fairytale. I want him to believe I'm that person in his head. But we don't even know each other. We just stare at each other.

Then he asked this girl to prom. She is perfect. She got accepted to Harvard, is beautiful, plays hockey, is witty, and in short, reminds me of the type of person I want to be myself. In a way, we are similar--but she does everything I do BETTER. Of course he would like someone so perfect. He deserves her. How can I even compare? They're so happy together, and he is so impressed by her. I am so sad all the time. Because of my frustration, I've tried to talk to other boys, and they've became my friends. I've gotten to know people I wouldn't have had the nerve to talk to before. But I'm still not happy! Nothing will do. When I see him in the halls, we stare at each other and everything seems better. But then I hear about how amazing this other girl is, how he was laughing with her, and that just kills me all over again. I'm so sad because I know she is simply BETTER, but I want to know him so badly. What should I do? Confronting him would scare him. I want to be bold, yet keep his attention. PLEASE GIVE ME ADVICE.

Typing the story out, I realize all over again how shallow my problem is. Others have gone through divorces, REAL breakups, deaths, etc. I've only known this, but it KILLS me. I can't help it. I'm just a teenager, heading off to college, ready to start my future at a top college. At least I was. I don't want to leave anymore. I want him! My life hasn't even begun, but I feel like he's already got me tied down. There's only 3 weeks of school left. How can I capture his attention? I don't think we can be friends at this point.

If you don't leave advice, please at least answer this question that sums up the problem: HOW DO YOU GET SOMEBODY TO LIKE YOU FOR SOMETHING OTHER THAN PERSONALITY, WIT, HUMOR, OR BEAUTY? Please don't tell me that those qualities are relative because I only care about one opinion, and that's his. And he believes this girl to be better.


Similar Entries:
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I suck at relationships December 25, 2011
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New Comment

By anonymous at 26,Apr,12 23:55

Just let time pass and all will be good. Don't pay attention to him anymore.
By anonymous at 29,Apr,12 22:37

Thanks for your advice. Time does heal everything, but it's the process that's tough right?
By anonymous at 15,Apr,13 06:44

I fell for this girl many years ago. we went out briefly. after all these time, she's still on my mind. i saw her picture today on a social network and i ended up here. she still looks beautiful to me after 16 years. I think I'll still freeze when I see her...I wonder if she'll be herslf if we ever meet again, which i really don't think so.
What is important is you have to readjust your own feelings. You will meet someone great if you can figure out truthfully who you really are. What do you need from your other half and what ever you can give is something he needs. that is a form of mutual support, materialistically, emotionally, physically, idealistically, etc...try to be as detail as you can. I know it is hard to figure all that out when you're only in your teens. Please don't fall for jocks who only wanted a good time. And please don't fall for guys you can talk comfortably with.
You sounded like a sensitive person. You probably have a good hunch on how things are going to turn out. Trust your hunch and check it with the principles you set for what's in a great partner. I'm sure you will do well. Take care and happy growing up.

By anonymous at 27,Apr,12 04:34

Imagine being in love with your best friend and not knowing it tell it was to late all I can say is say whats on your heart because you may never get another chance to even if it might compromise him at least you'll know if it was meant to be. To seek the affection of another person and not be able to have it is soul crushing its kind of like being addicted to drugs you want to be around that person and when you are near them your really happy but when they go away you just slip back into depression and realism.
By anonymous at 29,Apr,12 22:40

Regret is the worst feeling in the world! You'll always forget those embarrassing moments, but you'll never forget the chances you never know exactly how I feel it's creepy. But thanks for letting me know I'm not alone.

By anonymous at 27,Apr,12 10:45

if your heading off to college and he is doing the same a long distance relationship may be even more painful if you two were to get together. Get out with your guy friends and have some fun. You've got to take your mind off this guy. And relationships arn't marriages they could break up, really anything can happen. If you feel all hope is lost then it really couldn't hurt telling this guy how you feel.
By anonymous at 29,Apr,12 22:42

Thanks for your advice. You're right-being selfish does take some of the pain away. I wish I had a good hobby to focus my efforts on. I'll try looking for one in college. As for telling him how I feel, it's so hard! I don't think I have the guts to!

By Cursed at 27,Apr,12 14:20

It's called unrequited love. At some point or another, almost everyone has experienced it... You're not alone. What I would like to offer for advice is this: You're heading off to college, and trust me, there will be more beautiful boys there. You are young- and at your age the whole world revolves around love and popularity. But trust me, there are plenty of fish out in that sea! And, most importantly, you will grow emotionally, spiritually, and physically. If it's killing you that he is with this other girl, then express your feelings to him. Get it off your chest, but be prepared to be rejected. Because in my experience, the better looking, the guy is, the more he knows he can have his way with you- It's just human nature. From Brad Pitt to Mick Jagger, they all want mirror images of themselves: perfection. Trust me, living up to their standards will drive you crazy and inevitably they will cheat on you. You're better off falling in love with someone who isn't that perfect looking. Self-centered, narcissistic dudes will crush you-
Give yourself time. You will meet lots of other guys- maybe not as HOT, but trust me, when the right one comes along, you'll know it!
Good luck honey- be strong and stay focused!
By anonymous at 29,Apr,12 22:47

You're definitely right. Thanks for your advice! I need to let go, but I didn't use to want to. Now, I'm wanting to move on, go to college. He seems like the perfect guy-the kind of person I would spend the rest of my life looking for, but I know you're right. I might have to let this one go in order to have more doors open for me. I just needed someone to tell me that.

And I've never thought about how narcissistic dudes always look for mirror images of themselves! It's true...

By anonymous at 28,Apr,12 11:57

Sounds like your're not too bad. More or less like most of the humanoids here. Get yourself in shape, walk, run. Get off your ass, stop whining. You need to get tougher.
By anonymous at 29,Apr,12 22:50

Thanks for the tough love. I do appreciate people putting me back into perspective. I keep on telling myself what doesn't kill you makes you stronger (Kelly Clarkson anyone?). I'm trying to force myself out of my self pity and "depression" because, honestly, this little thing shouldn't make me feel this bad!! Thanks for your advice.

By anonymous at 11,May,12 02:49

I am not trying to be rude but it sounds like he is just not that into you. When a guy is interested in a girl they will do something about it. He asked that other girl out didn't he? If he liked you he would of asked you. He probably is looking at you because you are always looking at him and it becomes awkward because he doesn't like you that way. Trust me you have no chance. Get over it and stop obsessing about someone you can't have. Sorry but life does suck doesn't it.

By anonymous at 11,May,12 02:54


By crorkz at 06,Aug,14 00:07

4oeAn3 Awesome article.Much thanks again. Fantastic.

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