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Posted by caleigh at April 27, 2011 |
i had a sheltered, western upbringing until about the age of 13. i live in australia currently, but i lived in the US for 12 years, ive travelled the world, ive been to 12 different schools and im only 16.
adjusting to all these moves became hard. kids at school knew me as a brain or a freak, i tried my best to fit in, but couldnt fit in anywhere. if i ever made a group of friends, they constantly bitched about me and ended up humiliating me in the end, if it wasn't that, i was eating my lunch alone in the bathrooms. i didn't understand, i am just like them, why do they pick on me?
when i moved to australia, i was thrown into a girls school. basically, i didnt fit in because i wanted to fit in so badly, i just wished someone could actually like me rather than what i was used to. girls started bitching about me, sometimes they'd harass me and i started having panic attacks at school. i left the school after a year. i moved to another school. i didnt bother trying to fit in at this one, that plan backfired too. i ended up having to eat my lunch under the stairs, avoiding everybody, praying that one day one of them might talk to me and accept me as a friend. that was until i met hallie. she was rebellious, funny, and interesting, but also had extreme problems, including a growing drug addiction. being both misfits, we got close.
hallie introduced me smoking cigarettes, drinking, smoking pot and LSD. i was excited and willing to take all of them considering it w... |
| Posted by anamika at April 27, 2011 |
m really sucked by life..dun knw wat to do..watever i do it wents in vain...it really sucks..my fianci also doesn't stay wid me..she lwz says she has stop dreaming and she doesn't want to dream more,she used to dream of a big rich family..n m not so rich..earning a quite less..frustrated by all dis..can't say anything to her nor can i do much as it vl take time..have to always wait for good time..but every time good time comes it comes along wid a bad time..and the bad time is so cruel that even the good time i spent looks very small in front of it..fianci doesn't trust me no one trusts me no one's with me my family is lso a spoil spot..ma dad he is irritating character..every day have to start with quarrel nd end with quarrel..really life sucks..every time i think that tis time will go and good time will come but dun knw when it will come..lwz in tnsn if vl go home then parents tnsn and if not then something or other of my fiances tnsn..dun knw how to live in life.. |
| Posted by kai at April 27, 2011 |
Ok to start off my parents are complete idiiots. i hate them. i iwsh they would just die. my mom pill addict and my dad is a alcholic . everything i do they always have something to say about me, its like they hate me. i have good grades in school a's and b's but thats just not good enough for them its always more they always have to have more from me. they always say im a failure and i fail at life. always poitning out my faults as if i dont already know them. this past week my dog died and i was crying and my mom just told me to get over it that dog was my bestfriend and my boyrfriend just recently broke up with me when have been going out for about 3 years i love him with all my heart but i just have to deal with it i guess. well cant wail to get 18 to get outta this hell hole |
| Posted by anonymous at April 26, 2011 |
YOU DON'T NEED TO READ THIS I JUST NEED TO VENT AND LOOK AT EVERYTHING IN ONE GO TO LOOK FOR A RESOLUTION.
1. I'm 27, male and never had sex (nor anything considered sexual)
2. I have an average body, not bad or skinny just average.
3. I have the wrong mentality, i put others before me everytime
4. My apartment look shit and needs a thorough clean up
5. I have no friends
6. I need a holiday
7. I deserve and will get all of this by the end of the year 2011 |
| Posted by Russ at April 26, 2011 |
Well, ok im 13 and lately life has been shitty. My Mom is the nicest perosn in the world, and would do literally anything if she can. She was diagnosed with Breast Cancer about 3 weeks ago most of our family has died of Cancer. My mom maried a guy in 2006 who was very abusive through the years. FUcking my life up every day was like hell. But now he is being pretty nice and helping my mom with everything which is good. They are getting divorced now but he is being helpful with her cancer etc.. My Dad is a Athletic Drector at a school in P.A i see him 3-4 times a year. We usally go on vacations and other stuff. And i go to camp in the summer where he works. He can be fucking strict as hell sometimes and lately my Mom has been pissed at him. They got divorced in like 2002. But he moved out in 1998, a year after i was born. So really i never knew him as an infant but as i got older i see him often. I took a few puffs of a little cigar because i wanted to try it/ try to take away my pain. Anyway, i ahve a Brother and Sister who are 14 and 12 year older than me i ahve a really good relationship with both of them. They are both really cool and all. But my grandparents are basically pieces of shit. They never see me once a year at most.They lie to my Mom about everything and it pisses me off. I look at all of the kids my age who`s Granparents do everything for them and it makes me wonder what the fuck?. I dont like them they are ok when i see them but other than that thye never even bother to call me its fuckin pathetic. Anyway lately its been stressful around here me my mom is friends with one fo the worlds best Doctors who has treated evryone with Cancer. But he is very expensive, we arent rich like we used to be. She has been acting down alot. I would too but she still does act funny, and joke and shit. But the point is evreything in life has been stressful as FUCK. I feel dumb writing this but whatever........... |
| Posted by anonymous at April 26, 2011 |
I hate this city, this place, i want to get out. I was supposed to leave and enroll as a student abroad, but that didn't happen. Now i am stuck here in this mediocre university for 200 bucks a year, and i don't even like what I'm studying. I am not interested at all in these lessons and thus i barely make grades for them not to kick me out. I don't seem to fit in the community here and i don't care because i don't like it anyway. I am a totally different bird from everyone in here. I'm in my 20s and never had a girlfriend because i have a misjudged sense of what love is. Hell what am i talking about, i don't even know what the hell that word means. The only girl i have ever met that represents pure perfection in my eyes and is totally different from everyone i have met in my whole life is in a different town and she's leaving to study abroad anyway, so....yeah fuck it. The one thing i love most is music and have been learning music theory, composing, arranging, mixing, sound design and stuff for an year now, but that's just not enough.. i want to study it as a profession, which won't happen. Anyway i intend to keep doing this until my 30s and rock the world, just won't give up. Nothing else matters. I am still living with my parents and because of them i didn't get to study abroad. They just wanted me to stay with them forever..which is fucking great!! Yeah thanks guys love you..gj making my life even more miserable than what it is now. I have no job too, who cares. It seems that i wont fit in here, won't find a girlfriend, won't study what i want, feel dependent on my parents and live with them for a long time now, i am also worthless right now and i will be stuck in this city in the middle of nowhere with everything fucked up for a long time now. That's it. |
| Posted by anonymous at April 25, 2011 |
Where to start.. This is all in basic detail, just venting I guess.
As a kid I was always second best in everyones eyes compared to my brother, he used to bully me every day. My parents did nothing and when they did something it would be taking his side.
My dad used to hit me sometimes with a cane and shout at me, my mum was nice but she never did anything to stop this. I resent her because of this
Primary and High school sucked for me, I had few friends and was bullied due to being a different religion to the majority of people and had a non English name. No one gave a crap about me I felt worthless. In some way to validate myself I began to cut myself.
I began to skip school spend all the day smoking weed / drinking got mixed up with the wrong crowd. I began to exclude myself and hide away. My parents flipped out at me. I decided to go back to college and finally got some grades to get to university in order to escape my life.
At university I have lost contact with all my family and friends, I wish I could just have a normal relationship with my family but I hate them for the way they treated me, I began to drink heavily, smoke , take drugs, sleep about, still cut myself.
Now I don't see the point in life, there are days where I can't be bothered to get up and others where I wish I wasn't here. I can't be bothered to finish university, don't have any job prospects I just want to get away from everything about my life.
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| Posted by Nick at April 25, 2011 |
I know there are a lot of good people who are living in a cruel world. We either have been pushed down by this world and people in it or we feel guilt from our past.
If you haven't forgiven the crap you have done in the past, do so now and move on. You can't change the past but you can change the future. I myself have a lot of strugglings to deal with from the past but you have to know everything happens for a reason and youll learn from it.
As for the genuine good people in this evil world who do not mean harm to anyone but continue to get slammed, those who simply want to spend this life happy with others, those who want the world to live as one, hold on. There is a lot of evil in this world that will bring you down but there is still good, they just need help having it exposed. If you are a good person, keep spreading that love because eventually you will get it in return from another person.
take care, friends. |
| Posted by Not the Favorite at April 25, 2011 |
my whole life over all is ok i guess up untill a few years ago well i was fifteen and looking forward to getting a job so i talked to my dad and we went to put in apps and stuff that was all i ever did my dad is so caught up in everything else it seems as though he doesnt care to help me get ahead in life well i turned sixteen and got my license and my dad bought a car for my to drive till so i could get a job be able to drive to school and stuff it seemed pretty great ...but it was too good to be true my sister who was i think 19 or 20 at the time dropped outta college through away her full scholarship and came home and got pregnant by some faggot whos in and outta jail and has like 7 other kids by different women....how does this affect me you ask well when she came home she lived with relatives jumping from house to house and when time came for the bby to be born hose house did she come too? dear ol dads.....because she had nothing well my aunt then basically got her job for her and then my dad basically gives her the car that was bought for me i drove it like twice so needless to say i never got a job cause i didnt have a way there and back now im 18 bout to grad in a month and guess what im doin for spring break sitting at home because i have no way of goin anywhere ....but other than that everytime my sister f@cks up guess whose there to bail her out .....i just dont get it im the good child too i dont drink im still a virgin(by choice)i dont smoke nor do i do drugs .....i just dont get it ......... |
| Posted by anonymous at April 25, 2011 |
When i was a younger, i was dad's little girl and my brother and cousins who are 6-9 yrs older, never liked to hang out with me and i was left alone most of the times, with no friends during holidays. I made friends like everyone as i grow up but never had good ones i can trust. When i was 11 my brother went abroad for further studies and my cousins were all busy with their own lives. At high schools, there were only girls and it was difficult to live with them. The only things they were good at were to judge everything and everyone and talk behind everyone's back. I was disgusted and felt lonelier because my thoughts couldn't meet theirs. I couldn't even share what i had to my mother since her priority was to find money to send to my brother. When i was 14, we went for family camping for celebrating birthdays and every relative was present. It was an afternoon, 3 of my cousins joined me in a room and we started talking and teasing one another when two of them moved out. I was alone with my cousin, Nick, playing cards, singing, punching each other when my father came in the room, and he saw me embracing Nick. We didn't expect dad would come in because it was youngster's area and we were surprised because my cousin left his cigarettes on the bed and no elder knew he was a smoker. He grabbed them and moved out of the room. My dad looked at me with a different stare and didn't say anything. It was the last day for camping and we packed and on the way home, he told mu... |
| Posted by anonymous at April 25, 2011 |
I have spent so much time and energy (over 20 years) into trying to make a relationship work. what a fool I am. he doesn't try, doesn't understand that a relationship needs two, not one. he's content, as long as I do not ask for emotional support. i am exhausted trying, being the hero in this relationship. |
| Posted by Alien at April 24, 2011 |
wow so many bad stories here... some of you who will read this will say "this is not bad at all" but to me it is..im a girl and im just 17 but my live is terrible.. when i started going in high school everything was okay but like the time passed by everything has changed..now my life is a living hell... 1st year high school wasnt so bad but in 2nd year my life has changed a lot.. i started to sweat a lot like A LOOOT :'( i told my parents about my problem with the sweating but they dont do anything about it.. once my mom told me that she will take me to the doctor but that never happened.. im so nervous when im around people and my mom thinks that my nervousness is causing the sweating but i cant calm down.. i use antiperspirant and deodorant but nothing works :/ im sick and tired of wearing black shirts every single day. now im very closed person i dont like being around people cause im so scared that i will smell bad and im scared that they will say bad words about me..i dont know how to continue living a life like this.. god pls help me :'( |
| Posted by anonymous at April 24, 2011 |
I'm so sick of my shitty ass life, since Thanks giving my life has been a hell hole of complete awfullness, my shitbox of a car has broken down 9 times in the last three months fixing it has cost a new transmission, headlight, rear axel allignment and plenty of other little things adding up to over $3000, I work at a grocery store and hate everyone there, I am slowly failing all my classes in school, for the last 3 weeks I've been talking to the love of my life and she sees me as "only a friend" which is total bull shit, after all the work you put in girls wana be just friends...suck my dick, I honestly could care less at this point. After being suspended for ten days for having an airsoft gun in my car my parents wanted to literally rip my asshole apart and kill me, then two days after my suspension ended, here's the kicker, I got a fucking DUI, as if my parents were pissed before they've practically dissowned me now, oh yea and the other day someone stole my $120 calculator so now so now I have to buy a new one without telling my mom because its just something else to get yelled at about. And I chipped some paint off a guys car and he made me pay $200
For the repair when some touch up paint could have easily fixed it, so basically unless I hit the lotto
The girl of my dreams magically wants to blow me and date me, or I somehow become God
I'm gonna rip my spine out of my ass, so that my good for nothing complete heep of shit I call
A life is over. Fuck everything.
P.S. my bitch boss made me wear an easter bunny outfit for two fucking hours today in the
100degree weather while I sweated balls the whole time, just another thing to brighten my
Fucking day |
| Posted by Rejx at April 24, 2011 |
Yeah there may be some good memories here and there, but then everything just hits you right back in the face twice as hard. Can you name anything in this world that doesn't hurt or suck? Cause I have nothing. Love is the only thing I look forward to in life, even though I know it still hurts like hell. I don't want to give up on love, never. But sometimes there are those moments where nothing gives you hope. And when you lose hope and love, well... what else is there in life? Sometimes I feel like giving up on everything, leave everything behind. The only true happiness I feel is when I see my loved ones smiling and being happy, nothing else. And I don't see it that often. That's not how I wanna feel for the rest of my life. |
| Posted by Nick at April 23, 2011 |
The day came when i had to join the military (yes, in some countries its still obligatory). I was 21 at the time and didnt want to go through this because i am gay. Not that i was afraid or anything, i just knew that spending one year of my life in such a 'male' environment wasnt for me. So i admitted i was gay and on the second day they threw me out. A few days later my parents found out the reason i didnt join the army and after a long talk with them my father threw me out of the house as well. I decided to return to the capital and finish with my university studies. Meanwhile i was informed that my parents got a divorce because my mother argued with my father about his desicion not to see me again and this forst lead to appointments with psychologists and finally to the divorce. Feeling guilty i couldnt concentrate on my studies, plus the fact that i had to earn money somehow to support myself financially. So i started working in night clubs and bars for 3 years, places where i only realised how cruel the world out there is. I experienced drugs, alcohol, sex with idiots, i experienced what we call night-life and how it makes you see that this is not a place for angels. Havent seen my father the last 3 years or talked to him, avoid speaking with my mom as well... After her divorce she kinda lost it, she keeps going under on her own way. Never got to have a nice boyfriend, they all were idiots, looking only for one night stands. The people you get to learn in night life ... |
| Posted by anonymous at April 23, 2011 |
This story doesnt sound nearly as sad as the other ones here, i think. My heart goes to you all. **WARNING** THIS IS LONG!!!
For as long as i can remember, i've always been a shy and quiet kid. No problem there. Then i went to secondary school(high school). It was a boarding school. Anyway somewhere between my 1st and 2nd years, i developed a quick temper. I got mad at the slightest of things, no matter how irrelivant. I raged at friends, family, you name it. Somehow, both parties could keep up with my shit.
Sometime after that, i realised this temper and decided to keep it in watch. And eventually control it(most of it). As the temper went, so did my confidence. Apparently anger was what i used to communicate with the world. In my third year, i became extremely shy and quiet, only talked and laughed with the friends i had.
I wasnt the cutest boy, infact, i was far from that. And the other kids didnt take long to abuse this 'weakness'. I was called names and constantly reminded how 'ugly' i was. My confidence withered to dust. So did my self esteem.
I became extremely withdrawn. Remember this was a boarding school. One problem after the other right? My life dragged along and depression slowly but surely set in.
In my final two years, I made a few more friends, became a prefect(somehow), tried to mingle. I developed a habit of giving, Most people called it generosity. In my mind, it was somewhat painful. I gave away my thi... |
| Posted by anonymous at April 23, 2011 |
i am 18 and my life sucks like hell! its a big loop which never ends. all the time either i am at college or sitting at home filling my time with watching movies and daydreaming. i daydream because i dont have enough guts, patience and will to make it out in the real world, and i hate it. i hate how useless and weak i am. i just cant do anything. i cant concentrate, i loose focus. now i have started questioning my existence. i have a social life but most of the time no matter how many people there are around me i feel lonely and everyone seems so out of reach. i have friends but not best friends. i can start conversations but cannot carry them on. i am so scared of watching it turn uninteresting for the other person that i end it.
my life is total bore. i dont go out in the evenings to chill out with friends. i have given up. i just sit back, watch things happen, cry for the wrong that happened to me and then i am back again to watch more and cry. i am always thinking about the past, how good i used to be and where i went wrong. i make excuses to not do things others want me to do. i always need people to push me to do things.
i never had a bf and never have kissed. i do not get into relationships as i am scared that when the person gets to know the full me, he'll not like me. and someday he might fall out of it because i push people too far. how long can a person go for you? more than i am scared of people, i am scared of myself.
i am pathetic and useless and still i cant let go of life and still dream that one day everything will turn on fine. i hate my hopes. they always disappoint me.
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| Posted by willem at April 23, 2011 |
ive fuking had it with my dad hes a stupid dumb cunt and i really am tired of his bullshit ok so almost every month we go over out broadband limit to which he blames on me and my little sister wen he watches fuking disgusting porn until 3 in the morning and he thinks we dont know about it wen he used to leave over 30 sites of it in his browsing history that was for one day i fuking hate him he makes me give the laptop bak to him he says its because ill be on it for the nite wen he probably just wannts to get his daily dose of sick shit porn im a guy and i hate it i think porn is disgusting not cause im homo im not im in a relationship but because it is horrible to the poor girls who probably only act in them because there in so mch debt its one of their only options maybe the contemplate wether to kill themselves at nite because of it |
| Posted by chris at April 23, 2011 |
I hate my life. I'm 17 Utterly depressed and hopeless. 2 weeks ago my mom died from cancer, she struggled to fight it, she was 50. Now it's just me my dad and 2 younger bros in the house. I basically havto do the bitch work around the house, laundry, cleaning, etc. I first became depressed in 8th grade when I started smokIng weed alot while trying to distinguish myself in my new middleschool. All my life iv moved from continent to state to other state, and really never have been able to hold friends because of it. Which sucks because I'm an extremely amiable person who ends up befriending an entire school then kissing it goodbye a couple years later. Shortly after smoking weed I started smoking cigarettes. So thus became my addiction to weed and tobacco. One night my parents came into my room and saw me splitting my wrists trying to kill myself, it was my summer going into9th grade and I was done with my life. I was an emotional mess even though I had a supportive group of friends, and an extremely loving and compassionate gf. Through the support I received I pushed thru the difficult time. My parents found me a therapist which I attended 3 times. Then dropped. Now that my moms dead I think I'm going crazy. She kept everything in my life under control, to all you reading this: you will never understand how much your mother does for you until her life ceases... It's like a void. Recently I finally left an abusive relationship with a girl who literally mindfucked me. Being ... |
| Posted by anonymous at April 23, 2011 |
The love of my life is the most miserable person I have ever met. I honestly hear daily of at least 10 things he hates. I say "yeah I know, you hate everything" and he says "but I don't hate YOU". 5 years and 3 kids, and I love him to peices, but he is so negative, and so down all the time. If its not his job, its his parents, and if its not his parents, its our sex life, and if its not our sex life, its his age. There is always SOMETHING he is unhappy with. I focus on the positive, and I try to stay chipper and keep his chin up. But there is one thing I have learned in the last 5 years...you cannot MAKE a person happy. They have to want to be happy. For some reason I think he takes comfort in his misery. I can't imagine why a person would want to live like that??? The other thing I have learned, is that no matter how positive you are, and how happy of a person you are, that darkness takes its toll and rubs off on you. I am perfectly miserable with my life, I wonder almost daily why people long for someone to share life with, and all the tedious day to day, self sacrificing that comes with family life. I mean, the last time I did something completely for myself???? I honestly have no idea. and then I realize that probably most people aren't sharing their life with someone who hates everything and is so self absorbed in all the things they hate, that they drain all the give you have in you trying to make themselves feel better. I just wish for him to see what life is li... |
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