LIFE SUCKS : Mistakes

Venting

I am feeling down about many issues and looked for some place mostly to vent when I found this site. I am 56, smart enough to earn two degrees, but dumb enough not to choose a practical skill. My BA in journalism might have been usable if I'd pursued it, but my MFA is in English. Short of teaching, I'm qualified for almost nothing. My giving a resume may seem showy, but I started this way because a huge part of my depression comes from being middle aged and able to have accomplished so much, but succeeding at nothing.

I married later in life in my 40s. I truly love my wife, but I blame her for a lot too, though I never talk about it to her. She loves kids and babysits four days a week for next to nothing. That leaves it up to me to earn enough to support us. In this economy that is almost impossible on one income. I've worked two jobs for five years. My part time job just laid me off, and it is difficult to find another part time job that can fill the needed hours and keep my full time job happy. My wife has been diagnosed with divertiulosis. It took me until five years ago to find a job offering health benefits, but the insurance covers one CT scan a year. We're going hand-over-fist into medical debt.

I write (the MFA thing above), but I lack the ambition and knowledge to market my writing, so it is little more than a hobby. Then, it's hard to get the gumption to write when I know that I need to turn my actions into money. I do almost not...

Title

So here's my story..... 33 year old male that hasn't worked in a year and 3 months. I have been living off of a divorce settlement that i saved since my divorce 9 months into a marriage , which was at the age of 22. My money is dwindling and I can't find a job anywhere. I moved to this dying city because I loved my girlfriend who is very successful and I basically have mooched off of her for the 15 months that I have spoken of. I can't believe I quit my job and sold my house in this economy for anyone. It cost me 8 grand to sell the house and that took a nice chunk of my settlement money. I have a car payment that I'm not going to make this month, and I have no clue how long its gonna be before they tow it away. The girl that I loved is turning out to be a huge pain in my ass. It is probably my fault because I am the mooch, but she isn't making it any better. I try to do what I can for her by cooking and cleaning and laundry, things like that, but she just bitches about the way I do things. She is a straight up control freak that has to do things her way and a total type-A personality. I mean, she yells at me when I am driving my car because I am either going too fast or slow or the music is wrong. It is god awful. We got in a huge fight tonight and she calls me all these names and tells me whats wrong with me and how I bring nothing to the table, and I will still try to kiss her ass tomorrow because I have nothing to my name. I moved away from my friends a...

Where'd all the fun go?

I used to be just fine. I feel like a real ass even writing on here. My parents never hit me. They're supportive and still together. I got my BA and graduated a few years ago. Junior high, high school and college were fine. Good student, not great (never had any motivation in anything), and had enough friends to see me through all the shit that life seems to pile so well. Then I left everyone and everything I loved behind and followed a girl I loved out to California after I graduated. She was nice: she gave it 3 months before she dumped me for no reason. I've been here 3 years and have already had 4 different jobs. I can't find what I want to do. I have no motivation now during my shitty job hunt. I got a DUI this past summer and so now I have no money for rent, and I"ll have to sell my car. I'm living with a girl I'm not crazy about and I think the feeling's mutual. I have no friends where I live and the few I've made out here are already on to other things. I don't sleep. I don't eat. The sex I rarely get seems to be getting worse and it wasn't that hot to begin with. I smoke more now than ever and, no shit, it just started raining when I have to take her fucking dog out.
I used to be fun. People used to like hanging out with me. I used to have enough money for rent and to scrape by, but now I have more debt than I've ever had and absolutely no way to pay it off. My brother and sister are in successful marriages with great people. They all have nice jobs and kids...

wtf

I use to be a 3.8 student 3 sport athlete. I dumped the hottest girl in the world who has some videos of herself on YouTube with little fiends fieinding off of her over some bullshit. I was suppose to attend west point after I finished basic training the summer after I graduated. I got pulled over drunk and high as fuck driving home with some of my loser ass friends. Now that dream no I should say now those realities are lost. I'm laying in my bed on my phone wondering what to do because there is nothing to do. Fuck this shit it turned out to long so I can't finish this stupid shit everything sucks fuck you peace

my life is ruined

i had it all money friends family , then in 2009 my mom died and everything went down hill,i sacrificed many good things in order to care for my mom and be a responsible dad to my kid ,then i made the huge mistake of moving to colombia to get married and lost everything, i am completely alone all my so called friends and family betrayed me or sent me to hell , i lost my trust fund , all my cash ,my pick up truck, all my personal possesions i gpt ripped off , had a house stolen from under me as well as a brand new car both stolen by manipulation and fraud , the us justice system has been no help , my life has become a nightmare , everything was taken away from me and it seems my wife is a heartless bitch , just like my ex girlfriend with whom i had a child , which by the way after always paying everything for over ten years my fucking ex wont let me even see since aperently she just wanted my money , and i think the kids not even mine, my dad turned out to be a basterd that doesnt care, all my fucking life i beleived all the god bullshit of the bible and was a good person i helped dozens of people that turned out to be fucking ingrates that dont pay back the loans and dont even have a little gratitud, im on the verve of suicide , i cant take the pain anymore ,

phuckin goverment

hi there,
i am Cee, 22 years old, living in The Netherland bu i'm not dutch..
my parents r very religious people, like they pray 5 times a day everyday etc.
and i try to follow their footsteps, and be a good muslim too
now the most of u know that alcohol is taboe in islam, and i neverrrr drink. . .
till last weekend..
my friends beggeddd me to just try it once, i know i would say no usually cause they've tried it many times before and i always said no..
bu this time, i don't know what the fuck was wrong with me.. so i joined them for a few shots..
now thats the first time in my life i've drinked alcohol..
anyway, we had a great night and we decided that i'll drive cause i was the least drunk of the group..
heading to the highway, the F&#@%! police told me to pull over..
that was the limit for me.. wich confirmed how bad my life sucks..
so i was screwed, waiting and stressing for the mail to receive about the results.. 2 weeks long everyday hoping that i would see the mail first, cause if my parents would see it first and read about me drinking alcohol, that would be their DEAD.. no doubt about that..
so today i received the mail.. and guess what i got for drinking ONCE in my life. the highest fucking punishment u can receive here for drinking..
they took my license, i can't drive for 2 years plus i have to pay about 2000 euros for a course and motivationprograms. i can handle all that..
but here's the problem.. my parents r old and weak, i need to bring them to the mall or hospital almost everyday. how am i gonna tell them that i can't drive the next 2 years, cause i'm a miljon percent sure they will have a heart attack if they find out i've been drinking.. and they will find out cause i will receive the next 2 years a lot of mail about the course and progress.

sorry for my bad english, but it isn't as bad as my situation is, i guess..

Here we go again...

Well I've been through it all heartbreaks with girls,dealt with family members being addicted to drugs,i've made it to the top with a mercedes, big time paying job, beautiful girlfriend and lost it all. Life can be tough, I've made investments that have gone no where and put me in debt so bad that I am still struggling to pay them to this day.Every month I am worried about how i am going to pay my bills and it's been like that for the past 5 years, I have no bank account because I can't save and don't think i'll be moving out my parents house anytime soon but through my years on this world I have learned that I ahve become a strong individual through these bad times in my life.. I laugh at my friends who complain they can't get the latest gadget or best car or newest jordans or can't pay there cell phone bill, please those are tiny problems compared to some people especially someone like me, I tell them want my problems probably not because they can't handle my problems....They stress over petty things that don't bother me one bit because i've been through more than them, so people complaining about small little problems you are weak so grow up because to me you all are still little young minded people...I'm powering through the negativity while most of you let it consume you shame on you, wake up and start being happy and follow your dreams because through all this I am still rising to the top..

Feeling like a loser

Does anyone feel bad about mistakes they have made? Maybe I am just being too introspective, but I am feeling really immoral and guilty recently. I am such a loser. I have dropped out of college, was kicked out of the military, am divorced, have had over 80 jobs, haven’t seen my family in 15 years, live on women, have cheated on girlfriends, lied on my resume, haven’t filed my income taxes for years, worked in foreign countries on tourist visas, tried marijuana, stole some food from employers, have been arrested for domestic violence, and have defaulted on $80,000 of debts. A long time ago, I used to think I was
conservative and ethical, but now I just feel like a bad person. I am so depressed. I am not even sure if I can fix my mistakes.

I don't know what happened. . .

I am a 31 year old male. I have been to college and graduated. When I was done with college I still did not know what I was supposed to do with my life, so I decided that I should be keep going with my education. This led me to going to law school.

I attended law school for 3 years until I realized that I could not be a lawyer. Of course at that point I was already buried under literally a mountain of student loan debt. At this time I was in love with my girlfriend who then left me when I told her that I was not going to be a lawyer.

All of this happened almost 4 years ago now. Since, that time I have filed bankruptcy to get rid part of my debt though I am still buried under the student loan debt that I can not get rid of. And to be clear by buried I mean BURIED to the tune of $140,000. I will literally never be able to pay this debt off. I work in retail full time because it is the only job that I can find and I make barely enough money to pay my rent, bills, and put food on the table.

I used to date often and have had many girlfriends in the past but yet I have not dated anyone in nearly 4 years. I am so incredibly lonely. I don't hang out with many of my friends anymore because they have either got married and started families or they have fallen into drugs or alcohol.

I put on a good face to everyone that sees me at all which consists of my family and the people at work. Everyone seems to think I got my act together and things under control but that couldn't be further from the truth.

I am just so depressed about my finances and more than that lonely. I am so utterly lonely. I just wish there was a reset button I could press to go back 10 years ago so I could do some things differently. Because at this point I just don't know what to do. . .

Really messed up

I go to a maritime academy and one night myself and my friend thought it would be a good idea to get drunk, after we were pretty inebriated we walked passed a vending machine and thought it would be a good idea if we could rock it and see what fell out. A whole bunch of stuff fell out and we couldn't open the draw to get at it so we broke open the draw and got it all out. Today i got sent to the deans office where he tells me that i may be expelled and my company may fire me due to my actions. this is not my usual behavior and i am a good student my whole life is fucked as i planed all around becoming and officer in the merchant navy now i dont know what to do and i feel empty and hollow looking at the prospects of getting fired. help

Try to leave something bad, then it gets worse.

I moved away from Florida to Colorado over 2 months ago. I thought moving would help me by removing me from the affair with a married man. No one warned me about how terrible looking for a job here would be. Ive been through all of my money and borrowed others to pay my bills. Imvery depressed. Ive been living with my sister and she told me tonight to stop feeling sorry for myself. She knows I have suffered from depression my whole life. Ive been a server for over 8 years and have been told im excellent at it. I guess no one in Denver thinks I am because they would rather hire some person with less experience and that dresses like they just got out of bed. I have not had a boyfriend in 4 years yet I get hit on and my friends back in Florida think im awesome. If I dont get a job in 3 weeks my car will be repoed and ill pretty much have nothing. I just dont know what to do anymore.

Wrong choices = life sucks

I made alot of wrong decisions in my life & no real way of fixing any of them now. Too late. I spend time looking wishing I had a good life like how did they get so lucky. No job, no money, no love, & no Real home.
Life fucking sucks & I'm a bitch when I say it to my boyfriend.
Just fucking grand.

trapped in a pile of my own shit!

I know it's my fault. I wasted too much time partying & day dreaming. I just always hated doing what everyone told me to do. Now I'm middle aged and shit is so fucking boring and lame. No surprise huh? I've made too many mistakes guys. Not thinking shit through. Not really listening to what I really felt inside. Too stupid to stop and consider things.
I've got 2 kids now. Teenagers. I've been out of work for 2 yrs. Never finished High School (got a GED), never got a degree-not that I ever wanted one. Never fell in love and THAT is what hurts the most.

I've banged lots of women. Some way out of my league too. But I could never close the deal with THE beautiful woman that I really wanted 'cause deep down, I was always too afraid of what people think about me. And how they won't like me or think I'm ugly or think I'm weird.
So I'd just get drunk instead. Or just exercise. So just like that, I probably missed my chance to finally have her.
Then I got "saved". Becoming a Christian was probably the biggest mistake of my entire life. What a waste of 10 years of my youth. Fuck me! FUCK ME!
Then I married a decent woman, but I didn't really love her. I thought she was the best I could do. Of course she cheated on me. I divorced her and though I had a very good job, I hated that fucking job. Shit, I've hated every job I've ever had. You know why? Cause I never really knew myself and what it was I really wanted. When I found out. I was too chicken.
W...

My life sucks too

An older woman who made a huge mistake so many years ago...met all the wrong men and dumped the only good one I had because he was in the Marines. I have kicked myself repeatedly over the years because of that decision. I was only 18 so youth is my excuse. Met a man years later but he is not my soulmate. We are similar but his habits/personality are so annoying and he always embarresses me infront of others. He has 'no filter', which most people would say isn't too bad but thats why he has no friends...he shows no tact or thought when he speaks. We live like brother and sister and when I speak about divorce he says he can't live w/o me and will change...but he never does. He promised me the moon when we married, but nothing he promised came true, my life sucks and I guess it will be that way until I die.

Welcome to Hell

So I had this bright idea three years ago to quit my job, sell my house and start over and live a live of "adventure". Be careful what you wish for. The day I turned 40 I found out that I got a job as a flight attendant (which was my DREAM since I was a little girl.) and not long after that, found out I would be based in San Francisco. Life was so awesome!! So full of adventure and promise.

Three years later the following has happened:

* quit my flight attendant job because I met the "man of my dreams" who turned out to be an abusive sexual deviant
* I'm now working for $12/hour for the cheapest asshole pretty much doing his job for him but I'm so "thankful" that I have a job in this economy
* My 15 year old has attempted suicide twice in the past 2 months and smokes pot daily
* I'm under investigation for child abuse due to false allegations from my psycho ex and ex husband
* I have numerous courtdates to look forward to
* I just mailed my rent check even though I'm short by about $500 in the bank
* I'm broke
* Bills piling up
* My 22 year old sits on her ass all day and stares at her own Facebook pictures with no plans on getting a job or helping out around the house
* I have no friends
* I live in LA

It doesn't get any better than this! This is the life of adventure alright!!

I lost ten years of my life.

I am now 31. when i was 20 I conviced of a crime. I was charged with theftby receiving. they gave ten years in prision. I was put in custidy as soon as the judge gav my sentence. I was put on the bus with serval other women and the all were wearing street clothes and i had ona pretty floral dress balck heels nude stockings white slip white bra and white panties with butterflies and flower print. We taken off the bus and put in to holding cell at the prsion. The took to anther area where there was stalls with no doors. The officer said that it was time for body cavity search and she alos said when the basket is full give to the guard. While I was getting undressed I saw other women undressing. I strip down to my bra and panties and the guard I had take off everything. As soon as i put my bra and panties in the basket I gave the it to the guard. After the search they made us take shower and we only got 30 seconds. they gave uniforms and we had to sign in. One night I got raped. 3 women took to another part of the jail and ripped of my uniform and lingerie and and fondold me and committed sexual acts on me. Then they beat me. I was in the imfirmery for a week to recover. That still plays over and over in my mind. Ten years lock up raped and lost my veginity. I served the entire sentence. I got 6 monthes ago. No to help me no freinds. No one to love me. I was pretty when i went in to prisoin and came out rough looking. My life sucks becuase of on stupid thing I did. I am lost with the ten ten years of my life gone. I wish i could find a man to love me. My parents wil not help me and I can get job becuae there is no job to get. My life sucks.

Use it or lose it

27 years old, used to get paid 150K for a job I loved, with people that had my back and showed respect. Girlfriend of 3.5 years finished uni and moved 14 hours away and asked me to follow her, stupidly I did. I now earn 50k and work with backstabbing f..kheads with no respect for anything but themselves. 2 months after I quit my good job and moved away from everything I loved, girlfriend found someone new and exciting and moved on. I am now in a situation where I have no friends, no family, no money, can't move back due to the small income to fund the move, hate my job, and the people that I work with, and can't get my old job back. On top of this the ex now earns more than I do - which I think was the reason she moved on. in short, f..k women. I now spend 2 hours a day in the gym and run 10K every other day to counter the internal pain of my losses this year.

Life really does Suck

Two and a half years ago I had my three children taken away from me. It happened because I caught their father cheating on me and I tried to run the girlfriend over with my car. My three month old baby was in the car with me. I was arrested and did 120 days in jail. I lost everything while I was locked up, my house, my car, my business, all my belongings & especially my children. After I got out of jail, I gave the asshole a second chance. We were homeless & living in a hotel (my parents had my kids) I knew my family would not be happy about going back with him, so I had to hide it from everyone. I ended up getting pregnant. I knew I couldnt care for another child, so we deciced to give him up for adoption. I hid my pregnancy from everyone. Afterwrds I was so depressed & the asshole left me for another woman to take care of her & her son. Meanwhile Im still living in a hotel< working my ass off trying to get a place so I can get custody of my kids back. Shit happened with that girl and he moved back in the hotel with me. I get pregnant again... I decide to place that baby for adoption as well. I use the money I received to leave him and get a car, apartment and furniture to get my 3 children back.

My baby is 3 weeks old today and my son will be 1 on tuesday.... I miss them so much and really think I made a big mistake, but there is nothing I can do. I am so lonely and miss thier dad too, but I know he is bad for me. I dont have anyone to talk about this with. I feel I like the only way to end the pain is to die.

My life is shit all because I wanted to keep my bf now husband. We rushed it from the very beginning I got pregnant just a month into the relationship ship and we were married before we had known each other a year. When I first found out I was pregnant I was on my way to the clinic to get rid of it and my car all of suddenly break down so now I'm put in a position get my car fix or get rid of it. Me being gullible didn't realization that what I was gettin into. I call my HR and tell him what I found out and asked his opinion should I go get my car fix or ruin our 20's dimwit chose car. Now we have 2 kids 7 & 6 and my babies are great. I feel like I never made this choice I feel like I was fooled in this life I never wanted. I'm a very selfish cold hearted person who really enjoy my time ALONE!!! MY Husband is a some what good man he support his family and he pretty good with the kids he adore me and worship the ground I walk on its just at times I wish I can go back in time and say FUCK the car. I never went to college and my 10 year reunion is coming up and I feel like I wasted time pretending living this life I'm so confused and really indecisive

WHICH WAY?

Somehow, somewhere my very bright life went off the rails.I have been trying to figure it out and although I can pinpoint with accuracy, I can't seem to get it back on track.
I'm a 26 year old woman who left her country of origin to pursue a higher education and a better life. I struggled through school and had to quit with one assignment left to graduate, I tell myself that I can always go back and complete it. I do not have a job and have been living off friends since my last job 3 years ago. I cannot drive because I was too proud to take up an offer to learn from a friend who has since passed away. I haven't been back to my country since I got here almost 7 years ago, I haven't seen my family since. I'm afraid to look for work because I fear that they will find that I overstayed my visa and deport me. I have all but alienated my friends because they all thought that I was the one who would make it, and make it big now I'm ashamed they'll discover I'm nothing but a zero. I have never been intimate with a man because somehow my christian indoctrination got in the way, I'll only do it with the one. I do not have anyone to talk to, my days are spent reading books.

What do I do? What are my prospects? I'm 10 years behind on my timeline. Will I ever make it up? Are these insurmountable problems? What hope is there that I'll move on and become a contributing member of society? When will I not just be another loser who has done nothing for anyone including herself?