LIFE SUCKS

This just can't go on

I have paranoid personality disorder. Wherever I go, people seem to look at me with contempt and arrogance. I just can't stand when they're laughin, feels like it's about me and I just can't do anything about it. I can't react cause this will make em laughe even more. People always manage to have the last word, and that pisses me off. They dare talk to me sometimes and I think it's rude. They treat me the exact way they don't to be treated. Sounds like they figure out my weakness just by looking at me and they use it against me. Maybe it's my imagination, but I just can't help thinkg it's the truth. All my conversations go about my insecurity, I just can't think of anything else to say. I'm constanly needing to be reassured, and I'm afraid to show who I am, fearing that it can be used against me. I don't know what to do. I need help. How can I look stronger, or how can I get rid of this thinking ? My life's become a living nightmare. I'm all the time running scenarios of persecution in my head, everyone can harm, everyone can hurt, and I know nobody cares. People have the right to do whatever they want, but I don't, cause they decided so. SHIIIIIT !