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    [Tell Your Story]  "The pit" (fresh stories)

    untitled story

    Posted by Holly at June 19, 2012
    Static LinkTags: 2012 June   Relationship

    I'd like to start by saying I'm a woman over 30 year of age. I am currently unemployed due to the economy and have been desperately searching for a job for almost a year now. I receive no compensations because I do not qualify. Sometimes, I stay with my boyfriend for support. Other times, I stay with my brother and his family. I have very little money, no friends, and no social life. I feel so useless and helpless. To make matters worse, my boyfriend has been gone far away for a month now because of work and won't come back for a long while. Though I live with my family for the time being I don't ever disclose my feelings to them. I go on day by day pretending to be normal and try to do normal things, but I really feel as if all livelihood has been sucked out of me. Other than my boyfriend I wish I could share these feelings with other people but I've never been one to do that--not with any of my family members. I want to be optimistic and often tell myself that jobs will come eventually if I don't stop looking.

    I guess the toughest thing for me is having my boyfriend go all the way across the country for months at a time just to make enough to support us. We speak with each other for 5 minutes a day, sometimes every other day. It always feels like we don't really have much to talk about other than our daily routines, and there isn't much to say either, not on my part, at least. My boyfriend is one of those manly-men who isn't very verbal and doesn't share his f...

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    Comments: 18   Votes:


     

    Myownmisery

    Posted by Chickensoup at June 18, 2012
    Tags: 2012 June   Relationship

    I'm 29, married with a daughter. If u ever meet or know me you'll see me as a happy loving caring person. You would even see my life as perfect. When in reality I'm a miserable unhappy person. Who tends to hurt the people she loves the most which are my husband and daughter. I'm not saying I beat them or torture them or mark them from the outside. I hurt them from the inside. My jealousy and insecurities get the best of me. I've notice I have always been this way all my life. I never had a real relationship until I was 18 which I needed up pregnant from at age 20. I had one relationship after I separated from my first boyfriend and later got married to a man who was abusive to me and my daughter. I divorced him after a year of marriage now I'married to a wonderful man who is younger than me by 3 1/2 years. He's like a prince charming a women's mr. Wonderful. I just happen to get so insure for the fact he seems to good to be true. I tend to always hurt him my bringing up his past. He mentioned to me once he'd always love his ex girlfriend for the simple fact shes the first girl he ever lived with. He was engaged to her and she walked out on him. It had been 3 years since they had been broken up. So I found it kinda weird he still talked about her. After dating for about a Month he proposed to me and we got married within 3 months of beening together. We bought a home and well I still dwell on what he once told me. I feel he rused with me to stop missing her. I'd what to feel or think sometimes.


    Comments: 12   Votes:


     

    i need help

    Posted by anonymous at June 14, 2012
    Tags: 2012 June   Relationship

    My "best friend" is now dating the girl i am in love with. I have been in love with this girl for 3 years and she "friend-zoned" me. All the people at school think i am an emo faggot. i can't hangout with my friends because she is always there and is making out with my "best friend". My parents are divorced and are still fighting. My father is about to lose the house because he had surgery and he has a lot of medical bills so we will have to live on the streets. I am supposed to be the strong one because i am in martial arts and supposed to be a "bad-ass" like my friends call me, even though I'm not. I can't talk to them about this because i don't want them to know about my problems because i don't want them to think i am doing this for attention. i am just doing this to get my problems out, and to show other people, that are having the same problems as me, that they are not the only ones going through this. i have been thinking about suicide a lot, even right now as i type this, but i won't do it because i know that its not the answer to these problems nor any problems.


    Comments: 21   Votes:


     

    whats it all for

    Posted by chowda at June 9, 2012
    Tags: 2012 June   Relationship

    I'm 32 and I have always trusted everyone with my heart even when I knew the were thrusting the dagger into my back and this has always cost me tremendously. So wtf is wrong with me. I have a daughter from a horrible marriage, fell into two terrible relationships and then met the woman of my dreams...or was she? I love her more than my own life as well as her four children and now she is about to give birth to my son but extenuating circumstances, at no fault to either of us (well, that is open to interpretation) has caused me to move into a hotel for the past few months. I, like a jackass, went on match to try and find some people to hang out with. Really, a dating site....you fucking dumbass?? How incredibly fucking stupid could I be? I can swear on my life ten times over that it was strickly pleauonic, just wanting friendly company, but seriously, how could I not have thought about how she would have perceived it??!!!!! Well, to shore this up, she found out just after she made an unbelieveable deal to get me back in the house. Simply put, she said the hell with you and go fuck yourself, you are a worthless, lying, deceiving pos and I want nothing to do with you. Can I blame her?? All I wanted was to help raise her four children and my son to be but now I am on my own and all due to my pathetic insecurities about being alone. Don't get me wrong, two months plus in a hotel not being allowed to see the woman that holds my heart was brutal but how could I have been so stupid? Why couldn't I have been stronger? I never even met up with anyone and my profile implicitly said just looking for someone to hang out with, have a cup of coffee with and share simple conversation but what the hell was I thinking? I truly hate myself and my life and wish that I could just go to sleep and never wake up as the one woman who truly holds my heart now vomits just by the sight of me!!!!


    Comments: 60   Votes:


     

    Even the care givers hurt

    Posted by anonymous at June 9, 2012
    Tags: Childhood   Family   2012 June   Relationship

    I had a sad childhood living like a foster child, house to house,no love, plenty of abuse, sexual, etc. Became promiscuous and rebellious; drugs, drinking, just plain crazy.

    At 15 I was going to kill myself, but went to a youth revival and prayed and gave my mess to Jesus. Wow- He really changed me. Then I wanted to help everyone else in pain. Got degree in Counseling and Biblical studies. Thought I might be a missionary. Just wanted to help everyone. Fastforward; married a preacher- then allllll hell broke loose on us. Everyone stabbed us in the back, threatened us, tried to take our churches. Really really hated us. And so many of our loved ones have died. Our hearts have been burned big time. Now my 2 kids left home as teens and denied everything they were taught, my husband is cold and dead to me. He told another lady he loved things about her and kissed her on the hand, like he did our first date- that melted my heart because it was so innocent.

    I have looks and talent but it only brings hatred and envy. I have enormous empathy and compassion- yet no one values anything about me. Now I'm thinking of leaving my husband but now he's all lovie dovie and begging for forgiveness. I've been suicidal most of my adult life- and largely due to him. Just want to share since I have no one to talk to. Wish I knew what to do. So sick of pain.


    Comments: 30   Votes:


     

    waiting for a better year - but running out of time

    Posted by sr at June 7, 2012
    Tags: 2012 June   Relationship

    I don't know where to start.
    Left my ex because he got violet - with two kids. Remarried and had some violent times - what is it with my choices

    Were still together - 5 yrs ago had some bowel problems and had surgery, woke up to surgeons saying I had a massive growth on my pelvis that was cancerous, but they couldnt clear it so game me a coloostomy - did it as an emergency to it was right at my waist - horrible - hard to treat and hard to clean. A few years before that my son got hit by a car walking home from school on the crosswalk and almost died. Pulmonary embolism at 18.
    Got through that - got the collostomy - got through that too - and they did surgery and removed the growth - reversed the collostomy, my son got better and things were looking up until 3 months later I found a lump on my breast. and yes, it was the dreaded C. I had just taken a new job and needed it, money was tight - but after chemo and time off I couldn't keep going - so took a bit of time to recuperate and lo and behold my husband looses his job. We spent the summer looking for work, paying the mortgage and not much else and we finally both landed jobs. I get back into working and less than a year later my mom dies. She was an amputee and living with my brother who pronised her a home because her and my dad had paid into their home for years - well he decided he had to move, kicked her out - I got mad - and we didn't speak for 2 years.

    so mom died in march 2012 and im just getting over that and then the light of my life - my shetland sheepdog has a heart attack and he's gone. He was here in the morning - acting normal. Like a pup - and gone when I got home from work - oh and a month before my mom died, ny husband looses his job again - in construction as a project manager and no work.

    So here I am - wishing when I had the cancer - I had died - it would have been a damn sight easier


    Comments: 20   Votes:


     

    untitled story

    Posted by JM at June 4, 2012
    Static LinkTags: 2012 June   Relationship

    I am 32 and my wife has decided that she doesn't want to be my wife any more. This would be a lot easier if we didn't have a 2 1/2 year old and a 1 year old. She wants to split them up, the youngest living with me. I don't want to split our boys up, but feel if I fight it it will just make things worse. Maybe this is normal but I feel like this is the end of the world and my boys will never have a good life now. At least there will be some sort of joint custody where they get to see each other... I grew up only seeing my dad every other weekend. Me and my dad are not close at all and it sucks. He is alone now too because my Step Mother just passed away in December.

    Oh yeah, and last thanksgiving I found out I have cancer. Had to go through Chemo and Radiation (at least my wife was there for me then) Had surgery to remove it in February and was stuck at the hospital for 6 and a half weeks due to complications. Dealing with Chemo again now until November. Would be the worst 12 months of my life if it wasn't for the birth of my 1 year old last May.

    I am bottled up inside and had to write this somewhere. Not expecting any responses, just need to tell someone. Out friends and families don't know yet.

    I'd gladley raise both the boys myself but I believe that they need a mom in their lives too, even if I don't agree with some of her parenting techniques.

    It all seems like a nightmare and I just want to wake up.


    Comments: 13   Votes:


     

    everyone has a story

    Posted by seraphina80.livejournal.com at June 3, 2012
    Tags: Health   2012 June   Money   Relationship

    As I said, everyone has a story. I haven't always had the best of luck period, and it irritates me that I have to work harder then some for everything. I am now 32 years old and still renting, I have never been married or have any kids. I have yet to have any dream come true. I feel like life forgot about me. For the last 5 years I spent my life with a man who had money but who was a junkie, alcoholic and who had a gambling problem and who only cared about himself. He put me down a lot. I also had a good income but was laid off for months in the end. When I was with him I lived 2800 miles from any family and friends, then a couple of years ago he moves me back "home" which was his intent on getting rid of me, which I didn't know at the time. However, he up and left me to pay for everything. I then had to file for bankruptcy. Which was ok but I couldn't even pay for living expenses and most times had to sell things to pay the bills. Forget trying to find a better job, my province has one of the highest unemployment rates in Canada.

    Then my best friend who I was in love with ended up dying in his sleep from heart failure at 39 years of age. I was devastated and dealt with the pain and grief on my own for months. I started drinking to self medicate. Eventually I ended up on antidepressants, which wouldn't be my first time. Because of the antidepressants I then gained 25 lbs in a year!

    Oh I also used my RRSP to live on and upgrade some courses because I ha...

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    Comments: 70   Votes:


     

    Wish I could start over

    Posted by ME at June 3, 2012
    Tags: Family   2012 June   Relationship

    My husband and I married 11 years ago we have 7 beautiful children . We have been through a lot together we lost our baby girl to SIDS a few years ago. My heart was broken , I miss her everyday. Life takes over and gets busy. And i just found out that he has had 2affairs he wants to stay together but I am so hurt and I don't know how to get over this. I'm just not sure what I want anymore . :(


    Comments: 79   Votes:


     

    Life Sucks...that's all.

    Posted by Shelly at June 2, 2012
    Tags: 2012 June   Relationship

    Ugh...I've done it again. I've let myself hit rock bottom about guys..about parents...about friends...and about work. So let's start with the first one: I gave it up to a guy who I've been with forever,then I had a pregnancy scare, and he even went out and bought me the plan b pill to avoid a pregnancy, and still stuck around. So when he wanted to do it again, I said that I didn't want to do that whole thing again because he wasn't the one being the carrier of the baby...it would be me. And he got PISSED. He texted me today (yes, I said texted) and said he didn't even want to try "it" with me again. I was like, "Ok? What are you talking about?" and he's all "You freaked out last time." Screw you. Do guys EVER think of what we as women go through? Especially when we aren't even out of college yet, and he's pressured me a long time about this, AND I have all this other shit going on in my life...he has to pull this B.S. What a jerk...and now he's not talking to me (this all happend about an hour ago) and he's like, most likely to break up with me now. FML. Why do I even bother putting up with his crap? Ugh. Whatever...he can go ahead and dump me and knock up some other hoe because I SO do not have time for that. And the best part? Before this thing happend, he invited his friend and I invited my friend to my new place, and his friend grabbed me and kissed me, and when I freaked out and went to find my man, I found him making out with MY BFF. What the hell? I got mad at him ...

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    Comments: 8   Votes:


     

    I think it's too late for me - men and depression have ruined my life

    Posted by anonymous at June 2, 2012
    Tags: Attitude   Failure   2012 June   Relationship

    So many of these stories are written by people whose lives suck, but they are usually younger and still have time to turn things around - which I don't I don't think.

    I'm 53, no SO, no children, no job, no career. I have several psych diagnoses and the depression I deal with overwhelms me (I guess I'm bipolar 1 depressive). I have been stalked for months now and was forced out of my nice home due to the stalkers being new next door neighbors, and in a panic I bought a mobile home in a park. The realtor lied to me about the average age here (which is 70) and about activities which don't take place. My friends (the few I had or more like two and one was constantly putting me down) just deserted me due to the stalking. They didn't believe me and my one "friend" of 37 years sided with the stalker, even though he tried to kill my dogs four times. Well, he or they have followed me here now.

    My mother is over 90 and fell so I have to go out of state to take care of her so I worry about the stalking (as they vandalized my last house when it was vacant) and what they might do to this place. My dog has Valley Fever and is moving in the wrong direction. The stress from the trip could make it even worse, yet I feel I have no choice but to drive there (oh, and I have a driving phobia so swell).

    I was involved with a lying, cheating, deceptive narcissist on and off for six years who just accused me of being delusional about the stalking and wrote me o...

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    Comments: 58   Votes:


     

    Big time loser

    Posted by Loco4u at May 30, 2012
    Tags: Attitude   Failure   2012 May   Relationship

    Ok so I was doing ok with my wife for 5 years till I decided to cheat on her and ruin my relationship while she was 3months pregnant with my son who is now two years old one week later after she left the house I moved the other person I was having an affair with in with me we lived togeather for about 1 year while this time i was drinking alot and didnt realy care for any thing drugs an alchohol were an avery day thing till we split up now I'm living at my parents I think I'm an alcoholic and this situation has ruined me financialy before I was doing ok had three cars my own business and now two weeks ago I filed for bankruptcy I only have 20$ to my name as I write this I have a car but is in my mothers name I do have a job but I work for my dad my social life is a wreck I drink a lot but mostly to escape the reality of my situation that I my self put me in although I don't completely fault cheating on my wife the cause of al this I think its just a bad sequence of events I do see my son three days out of the week wich brings me something to look forward to look for I don't have a one single fried that I can text to or talk to I have a face book account with 70 friends wich are complete strangers when I drink it's usually at a bar but I'm always with my self the corner stull I'm 30 years old and most mornings I wake up wishing I hadn't I closed all my bank accounts I think I'm under paid for running my dads business wich has grown significantly after I took over it al though he still sees me as a fuck up who don't know shit i don't know how to deal with this any more


    Comments: 30   Votes:


     

    One year.

    Posted by untitled at May 29, 2012
    Tags: 2012 May   Relationship

    I am a 17 year old girl as of last week. Although my life story is short , it took its down fall last year on April 9th to be exact. It started with an ex and my inability to say no. You see I began talking to this boy when I was 13 or so. Not too long ago, but a few mindsets back without a doubt. I was convinced we were meant just as every girl my age felt with the typical bad boy. Problem was he had a child on the way. Not the usual problem of relationships. Having been allowed around during this time I felt a certain responsibility. A need to be apart of both his life and his child's. Was I naive for feeling this way? Yes... I was. I only learned that after it was too late. This guy could convince my ignorant mind and low self esteem to do just about anything. Send half naked pictures, check. Help him cheat on the mother of his child, check. Make me believe he loved me and I loved him, double check. The worst was only to come. After having the mother of his child find the pictures and put them on the Internet for an hour or two and taking him back I should've known where it would go at that moment. The next step of course would to lose my pride and dignity to him of course. Not the way I'd dreamt of it to happen either. I mean being asked and rejecting the idea several times until he took it. If you have not yet figured out what I am talking about, I do indeed mean my virginity. Did I stay with him after? Yes, only until I discovered his secrets. The drugs. The dealing...

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    Comments: 8   Votes:


     

    porn addict boyfriend

    Posted by alice at May 27, 2012
    Tags: 2012 May   Relationship

    My boyfriend watches porn contantly. I hate porn, I think it's gross. I don't understand how anyone could actually make those movies. Sometimes I resent the women he watches even though he insists he was like that before he met me and his addiction has nothing to do with me. I feel like I am second to his addiction. He has also asked me to have sex with him and another man on numerous occasions which I refuse to do. Other than sex, we get along ok which is why I stay with him. We agree on politics, religion, we like the same music and television. He also does help me with financial support and seems to care for my children who are grown and living on their own.


    Comments: 38   Votes:


     

    fuck you

    Posted by dont give a fuck at May 26, 2012
    Tags: 2012 May   Relationship

    my girlfriend dumped me a few months ago. we had been together for a couple years. i just had a job opportunity where we could finally move in together,however within the days after hearing of the job she told me that we should take a break. she wouldn't even do it in person it was all over the phone. i swear that i love her more than anything and dont understand how she could do this to me. literally in 24 hours our relationship went from being perfect to over. every single day gets worse. i have asked god or whoever the fuck is responsible for this world to take my life for the last 3 months. i want to die and would love to kill myself however i know that i do not have the balls to do so. i just want to get randomly hit by a car or a random bullet to come through my window right now and kill me. i dont have the balls to do it myself because i know the pain it would cause my family. i fucking hate god for the fact that i ask to die every single day and yet he/she/it lets children die horrible deaths all over the world. or that he lets people who want to live die instead of me. dont give me some bullshit god has a plan either. to many kids get raped tortured and ruthlessly murdered for that to be the case.

    so life fucking sucks. i dont give a shit. i will just keep praying the my life be taken or that i get the guts to do it myself.

    fuck you.


    Comments: 22   Votes:


     

    My Hurt

    Posted by anonymous at May 26, 2012
    Tags: 2012 May   Relationship

    I'm 27 years old, no kids, no lady and I'm miserable. My problem stems from my lack of having a great lady in my life. Ever since 5th grade, I knew I really wanted a special someone. Her name was Ros. I'm a black dude and she's a mix lady. I always felt I wasn't good enough or wasn't attractive in her eyes. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, you know. Well I've moved on to other great ladies just to fail miserably. I say "great ladies" because of my respectful manners. But to be honest, they weren't great ladies. I've been raised to be a respectful man, honest, loving, understanding, patient, clean mouth, do-the-right-thing attitude type of guy. I don't blame the two ladies that damaged my heart the way that it is today. Their story is I was the first serious relationship they've ever been in with a guy. Both ladies stayed for 4 years each with me. The first lady was too immature and wound up getting pregnant by a dude who didn't want the kid. I felt good and bad because I felt like she got what she deserves but my other half felt that no one deserves negativity even after how she treated me. I wanted to marry her but now she's doing her own thing so that's good for me since I don't have to deal with someone else kid. My second lady is in the same category as the first lady. She didn't have any serious relationships with a guy before we met. I believe she started dating me only because she wanted to give something "new" a shot. She didn't date me for the right reasons;...

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    Comments: 9   Votes:


     

    I'm an enabler doormat

    Posted by doormat at May 26, 2012
    Tags: 2012 May   Relationship

    I been with my guy for 8 years. I have more or less supported the household the entire time we have been together. He has been in and out of jobs and when he is employed spends his money on god knows what...well now I know what. A few years ago he admitted to cocaine use, shoud have seen the writing on the wall. The mood swings, erratic behaviour, verbal abuse. I should have left but I'm such a door mat. He promised to change and was actually doing well, thea few days ago admitted he was using again. I am such a doormat. I gave an ultimatum, but I'm such a spineless pushover, he will probably continue to mooch off me and do what he likes for as long as I let him. Now I just distract myself with hobbies and try to have a life otherwise, but I know my life could be so much betterthan this.


    Comments: 13   Votes:


     

    can't move on

    Posted by dminilsc at May 25, 2012
    Tags: 2012 May   Relationship   Sexuality

    I'm 33 years old and gay. I had a very good career in Washington, DC, but decided to go to graduate school. My first summer I started hanging out with this guy as friends, but started liking him, and he indicated he was interested in me. Because of my self-doubts, I never acted on his signals, so I friend-zoned myself. He met someone else, and we remained friends, with my feelings growing even stronger. We were best friends, spending nearly every day with each other increasingly closer. Throughout that year, he still sent me signals: tried to kiss, spent Valentine's Day with me instead of his boyfriend, would hug me very tight and pat my behind. Eventually, I couldn't hold it in anymore and told him how I felt and he rejected me. I went on a total bender, drinking, drugs, casual sex. I even changed my degree program to finish one year earlier. I graduated without a job and with $40,000 USD in student loan debt. My sister gave birth to her first child and I moved to help her (she's a single-mom). She lives in the suburbs of a small southern city where I don't know anyone and it's an hour to the nearest gay bars. I finally got a job, but I didn't like it and they wanted me to move across the country; they eventually fired me. I saved some money, but it's all going to student loans. So after finishing school three years ago, I'm jobless, friendless and still dealing with the sting of rejection. I'm technically over him, but have not been able to move on because I have no social outlet and no money to find one.

    Short version: heart-broken, jobless and living with family for three years.


    Comments: 35   Votes:


     

    Oh LOrdy, lordy- look what happens when you're 40!

    Posted by Woman at May 24, 2012
    Tags: 2012 May   Relationship

    Oh, mercy, mercy, me- I Just want to be free! HELLO. I used to rock- but not anymore- Sometimes you just don’t see what’s in front of your face! He dragged me by my hair, made me scrub his floors, suck his cock, wait on him hand in foot. All the time his kids would saunter in, not acknowledging me what-so-ever! HA! What an IdIOT I was!!! The abuse, but I loved him….
    BUT wait! He told me he LOVED ME!!!! Whhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!! BUT WAIT! He told me he wanted to MARRY ME!!! Why???? Why did he change his mind????
    I now understand the “minds of men” and their ways- AHhhhhhhh- The webs they weave….. Now, I fully know the ruthlessness of men. How they control, manipulate, torture, and ultimately breed their spawn on unsuspecting virgins…
    They get them pregnant, they fatten them up, make them submissive, and then, send them out to slaughter…. Like cows to the gauntlet- they are led, babies in tow, to go out and fend for themselves…. Never had a job, never had a “career”, only mothers… WHILE Daddy moves on to a YOUNGER woman, one that “fit’s” his style… A TROPHY! Yeah! That’s it! Money, money – Show me the money!!!
    Whatever.
    Single mothers- dead-beat dads, the curse of the planet. Children- boys, girls, growing up without a mom or a dad. That sucks. Whatever happened to men with balls? What ever happened to guys that didn’t have to fuck the planet to be satisfied and happy with a heavier version of the woman they loved? An Older version of the one they loved. We’re still the same- we just don’t look as shiny or pretty?
    You know what- I got a problem. It’s called “BEING PISSED OFF AT YOUR Fing X! $*#*$&*&$#*^! Yeah that’s right DAVID! I am talking TO you!!! I hope you rot in hell! Yeah- that’s right, fester, putrefy, and sink, so low that you want to die! What???? You’re not DEAD YET????
    I CURSE YOU! I CURSE YOU DAVID!


    Comments: 20   Votes:


     

    Starting over

    Posted by anonymous at May 24, 2012
    Tags: Anxiety   2012 May   Relationship

    This is my first time on here, so i'm not sure what i'm doing. I just need to vent and understand if no one reads, as it is long....

    I am a 23 year old female that has been struggling with anxiety and depression since a young age. My childhood was rough, parents separated at the age of 6. My dad and I weren't very close but he was the stable parent. My mother got addicted to meth shortly after my parents divorced. The time I would spend with my mom was always so hectic. She would move from place to place, all of which were dirty and never had food. She always had several men from local gangs staying with us as she was always in trouble with someone. I remember having one bed in the house and having to curl up with random men at night. She had been robbed several times, and by the age of 10 I have had a gun in my face on more then one occasion. She met a guy that seemed nice, but we found him overdosed on heroin. She left for a couple years shortly after my 13th birthday. I thought she had died. She later came back and asked for me to support her in treatment. Which I did.
    She did good for a few years. At the age of 19 I became pregnant with my son. I wasn't prepared but I was very much in love with his father (who i had dated for 4 years). I had my son and shortly after my sons dad had revealed he has slept with a large portion of my girlfriends, soon after I left him. I was living with him and his grandma, as we were her caregiver. Me and my son at that po...

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    Comments: 11   Votes:


     

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