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LIFE SUCKS : 2012 February

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    [Tell Your Story]  "The pit" (fresh stories)

    I hate myself and my life

    Posted by pieceofshit at February 29, 2012
    Tags: 2012 February   Money

    I am the most average person in the world. Average looks, height, job, wage. I have gone my whole life unnoticed. I have no money and no friends. I have a wife who is lazy and three kids who will never sleep and fight it until their last breathe. My wife recently lost her job and I am about to lose my job due to cutbacks. I am 33 years old and am $80000 in debt and live paycheque to paycheque. I don't know how to keep going.


    Comments: 15   Votes:


     

    mr pedro

    Posted by pedro at February 29, 2012
    Tags: 2012 February   Relationship

    I have been dating a girl that I love... we lived together for 1.5 years. She is from Mexico. I love her so much. At the beginning of the Feb, she had to get back to Mexico to undergo a surgery on her uterus. I love her and she is my soul mate... but the problem is that she is 9 years older than me... I am 24... My family will never let me get married with someone 9 years older than me... so I have to choose between her and my family... on the other hand, we could just love each other so blindly that we forget the dreadful future waiting for us... a battle between me and her and my family... but, I broke up with her on the phone yesterday and now my life is a hell. I have to walk on the beach at least 5 hours everyday to make myself calm down... and I am not sad because of myself, I am sad for her... she thinks that I was lying to her when I told her I love her... and besides, she found out that she has to remove her uterus and she will never be able to have children... so I have left her at the worst time possible... I am crying all the time and I can't get out... on the other hand I am a very busy phd student and I have a big presentation this week that I haven't even prepared a word... my moods are changing so rapidly... my room is so much filled up with her incense... I have still some of her clothes and I wash them with my tears... I am helpless... life sucks.... the only thing that makes me calm is when I do meditation... but as soon as my meditation finishes my peace wanes life a drop of water in hell


    Comments: 6   Votes:


     

    I don't know what to do

    Posted by Ethioipa at February 29, 2012
    Tags: Family   2012 February   Money

    I'm 23yrs old. I come to America about 5years ago. I have 4 brothers and 5 sister. I worked full time and went to school full time. I have to help my family and i have to help myself, and its just depressing. I hate my life. I couldn't keep up with school so the kick me out. I was a really good student. I live with my older sister and she is devil. She have this husband and his ignorant and we don't even talk at all. I work full time but i don't have money. All my money goes to my family and bills. I my friends hated me for some reason. I don't show them who i'm and they don't trust me. I feel so alone and i feel life killing myself sometime. I don't know when this will change. I'm trying to bring my parents here but i'm going thought a lot with financial. Everything is just sucks..


    Comments: 1   Votes:


     

    You think you have problems....

    Posted by Mark H at February 29, 2012
    Tags: 2012 February   Health

    just had a physical as I do every year and the Doctor calls me and asked how am I doing....I feel fine. Why? NO blood in your urine, not tired...etc no why...Get in here we need to do a cat scan....turns out there are markers for a type of bladder cancer in the blood they took...Cat scan reveals a cone of evil in the bladder and they need to operate ASAP...the next day if possible. Last Friday,the next day, come out of surgery thinking thats over with now to heal only to find out they found MORE of what they did not see in the cat scan...they want to remove my colon, part of the intestine, the bladder, make a new bladder out of my intestines and add a hole in the side of my body for the waste to come out....ASAP meaning tomarrow.... there is an awful lot to decide and absorb in just 2 weeks time my life changed DRASTICALLY.....wondering if I can even hold it together.


    Comments: 4   Votes:


     

    Nobody really cares

    Posted by D. at February 29, 2012
    Tags: 2012 February   Health   Loneliness

    I used to think that I was good at being alone and single, but recently I recovered from a spinal fusion surgery (I broke my neck doing acrobatics) and am back to living a normal life after 3 months. The problem is I now realize after staying home for 3 months that I HATE being alone. I'm always the "single guy" even though people always compliment me on my looks and say I'm a great guy. But it's just that I guess I'm sort of a reacher. I go for a girl and they never, ever want to settle for me or get to know me. It sucks. I realized that all of my friends have girlfriends now and I don't. It's been so long since I've been in any kind of relationship and for some reason I just CANNOT seem to get involved with any girl no matter how hard I try. Then when I don't try and go with the flow, nothing happens. It's like a curse.. And I'm so stressed out because at my job there's a lot of beautiful coworkers but I just get this feeling (based on past experiences) that none of them would ever date me.
    In the past year a lot of my friends changed and grew apart. We're all in college but they're always busy with their own lives and sometimes I wish we could all be cool with each other like old times. I thought that coming back from a broken neck injury recovered would turn out nicely.. But I've never felt more lonely in my whole life. I guess I just really want a relationship and someoneone sides family to legitimately care about me for once.


    Comments: 18   Votes:


     

    Holy fucking shit

    Posted by anonymous at February 29, 2012
    Tags: Environment   2012 February

    It wasn't enough that I had to grow up in the worst fucking era of the world, try the Soviet Union; Ukraine to be exact. In a small decrepit village so close to Russia you can hear the artillery in the backdrop and the marching of soldiers in their boots.

    It wasn't enough that my brother and I risked dying of dehydration, starvation almost every day from our youth to our late teens. It wasn't enough to beat, steal, lie & cheat everything and from everyone just to get by.

    It wasn't enough to get my teeth bashed in by the butt of a rifle just because I gave a "Peacekeeper" a smirk after he said something (this was by the way the only way I could communicate. I didn't learn how to read or write until I was almost 8 years old). It wasn't enough that I had the same pair of fucking clothes for almost a decade.

    It wasn't enough was it? I finally get the fuck out of the worst place in the world, with a smile on my face for once. I try to start over, with someone who shares the same ideals, the same strengths, and weaknessess here in the North. I do everything in my power to give them a good life here.

    I work, I clean, I love, I cry, I fail, I succeed. All of these things were just a simple prelude to this.

    It wasn't enough to lose my job in hopes of getting a better job, it wasn't enough that the job was so fucking easy but they let me go on an error by their company. It wasn't enough that this area has no fucking jobs in walking dist...

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    Comments: 12   Votes:


     

    Middle aged and scared

    Posted by Annie at February 29, 2012
    Tags: 2012 February   Job   Money

    I worked for the same company for almost 20 years and it closed when the recession hit in late 2008. I have struggled since then, have had a couple of part time jobs but am unable to find anything permanent. I am a 56 year old woman, alone and terrified. Never ever in my wildest dreams did I think this would be my situation at this time in my life.

    I have long gone through my savings, do not qualify for any government support progams. I do not have enough money to pay my rent March 1st. I feel like I have lost part of me..it is harder and harder to put on a brave face and believe that tomorrow will be better. Harder to keep applying for the jobs I don't get. I can't sleep, I can't stop the constant noise in my head...I sometimes wish I could just go to sleep and not wake up. Not sure what I have to live for.


    Comments: 7   Votes:


     

    Past two years.

    Posted by CantThink at February 29, 2012
    Tags: 2012 February   Juvenile problems

    For the past two years my life has been miserable. I would be able to type up a whole paper on the issues, so I'll keep it short. I am a freshman in college now. The summer before my senior year in high school is when it all began. I had met a wonderful and beautiful girl who I was attracted to and still am. We really hit it off and seemed to never stop talking. This lasted for about two months and it all came to a screeching halt. She says we should just be friends for now. That tore be apart and It doesn't stop there. About a week later my parents informed me that they both are filling for bankruptcy and our house was being foreclosed. So in the next week we had to pack stuff up to get it loaded for the moving company. That week went by and we had three days with the moving company. This was scary because it wasn't until the half way through the last day that we found a house to live in. I was half a day from being homeless. We finally got most of our stuff in our new house and it was a week from the first day of school. A week from senior year I had to move. This was supposed to be the best year of my life and it already is starting like crap. I lost a beautiful girl and I lost my home of 17 years. The first months of school were awful. Seeing her in the hallways was not helping either. I began drinking and doing drugs to get away from the pain. It didn't help and I don't suggest using that method. After awhile I just decided that I was going to let it not bother me an...

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    Comments: 2   Votes:


     

    Im Married.

    Posted by > at February 29, 2012
    Tags: 2012 February   Loneliness   Relationship

    I have been reading some of the stories on here and I kinda feel guilty because most of you are more physically alone than me. I have been married for 4 years but I don't even feel like we can have a real conversation. I have become so distant from my friends and family who I was very close with before, and I haven't really been able to make and keep any new friends. He is more antisocial and it makes it really hard for me because I am very social, but if I act that way it causes problems. Having friends or any sort of social life causes huge problems in our relationship to the point that I don't even try anymore. We fight constnatly. Like every day. Sometimes we still have good times together but they are few and far between. I am going through a lot of things that are really hard for me right now and I've been realizing I really don't have anyone to talk to. Not one person. I feel like I am a shell of the person that I used to be, and the person that I want to be. I am just having a really hard time right now and I feel like I am about to unravel and my husband is too resentful towards me to be there for me, or see what a hard time I am having or that I am at a breaking point. He is resentful towards me because I am apparently a burden, and I am made aware of this quite often. I work but I just don't make enough money, or I spend too much money to not be considered a burden I guess. I mean is it ever ok to consider your spouse a burdon? Anyway, I am married and I have no one.


    Comments: 4   Votes:


     

    Forever Alone

    Posted by Lexie at February 29, 2012
    Tags: Attitude   2012 February   Loneliness   Relationship

    So I am 20 and fairly outgoing and fun but I cant seem to find anybody who gives a damn about me. When I was a kid I was abused (for 12 long years) and now even the slightest things bring me into the deepest depression. I live with my grandmother who is a very headstrong woman and I'm afraid to tell her that I'm depressed because she has already told me that she sees it as a sign of weakness. She makes me feel inferior and stupid all the time and she doesnt even see it...even when I tell her!!! She guilt trips me all the time...so much so, that I miss out on opportunities that arrise because I just don't feel like fighting with her. I am scared to trust anyone and yet at the same time I thrust myself 100% into every relationship. This tends to scare people off but I can't seem to find a happy medium.

    The very worst part of my life is that I am desperately in love with my best friend but she doesn't feel the same way. I am the world's most loyal friend and will do anything, not just for her, but for all of my friends. I have listened to her talk about the same guy every night for 2 months but the one time I need talk to her, she can't even be bothered to even text me back. Story of my life. I'm so unhappy :( I feel like crap everyday and I think I'm losing my mind too!! I'm paranoid, bipolar, manic depressive and I have MAJOR mommy and daddy issues....I just want to be happy...I have next to no social life, and I always feel like a 3rd wheel...even when there's only 2 of us...

    All of my friends are 100 times more attractive than me, so that when do go out, I get shunted to the side while everyone drools all over them....and people wonder why I am the first to go home...I don't know....any suggestions for any of this shit????


    Comments: 7   Votes:


     

    Death, Drugs, Alcohol, Depression and Debt

    Posted by anonymous at February 29, 2012
    Tags: Alcohol   Attitude   Drugs   2012 February   Money   Relationship

    This last year and some since I moved to New York City from Canada has been one of the most difficult years I have ever had in my life. A month before I had decided to leave, my father had been diagnosed with terminal brain cancer. Since it had been two years that I had seen him, I felt there was no choice but to move here and be closer to him and my mother. I took out a student loan from the bank in order to do it as I was struggling financially and had no savings from a physical job where I had injured my back so badly that it left me nearly unable to walk for six months.

    I had enrolled in grad school to do my masters degree when I got here, but due to the stress from my father's condition which worsened by the week, I took a long standing deferral only 5 weeks later. I traveled back and forth to another state because I never knew when the last time would be that I would see him alive. I watched as his body increasingly deteriorated from the cancer, and soon came the day I arrived and saw him take his dying breath.

    At the time, I was shattered. I had moved to New York alone never having been here before, having no friends, no connections, not knowing where I was going half the time, getting lost in the cold, dark streets, knee deep in snow. And now my father was dead. I cried all the time in the streets and subways, I drank all the time and got involved with people I couldn't trust who had no interest in my well being. I was oblivious to ho...

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    Comments: 7   Votes:


     

    Dreams of mine

    Posted by anonymous at February 28, 2012
    Tags: 2012 February   Justice   Loneliness

    Before I start Id like to express my empathy for the other users, you guys are going through some extremely tough, and sad situations and all of you are so strong for hanging in there... continuing to live through these circumstances takes a truly special person, and all of you should consider this fact. My life hasnt been so different, I have been blessed with a completely functional body and mind however my days have been a disaster. Im only twenty and i have zilch for friends, every friend i have ever had has completely drained me of my recources and then dropped me like a bad habbit. I figure part of being a friend is doing things for eachother, but it seems that this is a one way street in my instance. When I was 8-13 my so called friends would convince me to do delinquent, but hilarious things at school. I always thought this was a mutual relationship with my peers but Ive realized that I was only being used, as thats as far as any of my friendships went... them laughing while I was hauled off to suspension. This unhealthy relationship with my peers eventually led me to doing more and more to gain their approval until I was removed from school and thrown into detention. I spent 3 months away from my home and family. When I got out I thought I had found some real friends, we would hang out after school and they really didnt pressure me into anything. A month later all 3 of them robbed the local pizza place in the middle of the night. Next thing I know i was the pr...

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    Comments: 8   Votes:


     

    Cannot live my life how I want

    Posted by anonymous at February 28, 2012
    Tags: 2012 February   Relationship

    I'm a 19 year old girl. I've been dating my boyfriend for a little under 3 years, and we are so in love. The problem is, he goes to college two and a half hours away, and we hardly get to spend time together. We try to text, but he's always in class or working. He would always come home during summer break, but this year, he decided to move into an apartment off campus and will be staying there working full time. I'm so excited for him, but it kills me inside to think we won't be able to have our summer together. I have this pit in my stomach that gets so angry, like he's choosing to leave me. He seems so happy about moving, so I want to be happy for him. I just wish I could be there. He keeps asking me to move in with him, which in our situation, I believe would be a good idea. That way, before we get married, I can experience a more normal relationship with him to see if we are truly compatable. However, my mom believes it is a sin to move in together before we get married. She refuses to listen to me if I even mention that I want to move out of town, not even to move in with my boyfriend, but just because I hate the city I live in and want to experience life on my own. She told me she would basically not want to talk to me if I ever move. How am I supposed to look into a serious future with the man I love if I can never be around him? We want to get engaged, but wait til we are in our mid-twenties to get married. We plan on a longer engagement so we do not rush into a...

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    Comments: 5   Votes:


     

    I'm Sorry

    Posted by kirakun14 at February 28, 2012
    Tags: 2012 February   Loneliness   Philosophical

    On a daily basis for the past 2 years at least, I have been saying "I hate my life" at least once a day. I thought of suicide so many times but was too much of a coward carry it through. After reading many many stories on this site, I realized my life isn't that bad. I lost my virginity to a decent looking girl at 17, im not terribly over weight, I dont have many friends (but you only need a few), I have a mother that doesnt speak english but gave her entire social life to give birth to me in America so I can be a citizen, have a neglectful father but pays for my college.

    I am very lonely, day in and day out. The only thing that keeps me going is my cat, anime, music and hope that one days things will get better.

    I am in love with a girl I haven't even met yet (only some of you will get this)

    But despite all this, my story pales in comparison to others posted on this site. Even I fail, I will do my best to get back on my feet and find her, start a family, and live happily ever after. I will do this for you all, I will do this for you.


    Comments: 4   Votes:


     

    all people care about is themselfves....

    Posted by anonymous at February 28, 2012
    Tags: Attitude   2012 February

    I have some friends that only care about their well being and when I have a problem I can't seem to talk to them because everything I do they make the conversations about them self and never stop to let me explain my problem. Every time they call, its all about doing something for them. Family, friends, everyone all uses people. I hate people, I hate myself, I just want to die. I have no boy friend, barley no friends I can Depend on. I never have any money to get what I want. Life isn't shit to me. I wish the world would hurry up and end so these sorry for excuse people can no longer have anything to be bragging about besides the fact they will all burn in hell. All they does is sit here and brag about they fucking good life and their shithead kids that are ugly as sin, and their cheating ass husbands but can't sit and talk to them about your problems without it becoming about them, their life. Me personally, I love terrorists our country needs to be bomb to get rid of the hot shots who only care about themselves. I so love the people who go in schools to shoot children for bullying them, I don't care when I see something about school shootings, I just laugh out loud and say very good that student deserves a A+. Yeah people in general make me feel this way about life because of their selfishness. Nobody deserves to live, not even me if I'm not happy rest to sure they want be happy.


    Comments: 6   Votes:


     

    TIRED!!!

    Posted by anonymous at February 28, 2012
    Tags: 2012 February   Money

    I AM FUCKIING SICK AND TIRED OF THIS BULLSHIT LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NEED A GOD DAMN FUCKING JOB IN THE OIL FEILD TO MAKE BIG MONEY AND I CANT FUCKING GET IT!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WANT TO GET MARRIED HAVE A BEAUTIFUL HOUSE AND CARS AND KIDS. THE ONE GIRL I LOVE I CANT BE WITH BECAUSE MY UNLUCKY ASS CANT FUCKIN SUUPPORT HER!!! its things like when u look into your walled and have not one fucking dollar that ruins your fucking day. there bullshit jobs at mcdonalds can't get you by. you cant even support your damn self with minimum wage jobs. I'll be damned if i ever get another job like that again. I need a way into the oil field. its the only way to accomplish what i want without having to go 100 years to college for a damn degree that once you have it u cant even find a fuckin job. its no wonder why so many people look into trafficking illegal aliens/narcotics and deal it. It is the only way to get the money you and ur family deserve and need. apart from that its the oil field. and well the college options that takes a century. gonna bug all the people i have in the oil field to get me a fucking job every single day from now on. No more procrastinating. i need this shit immediately!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


    Comments: 27   Votes:


     

    An epic failure of a human being.

    Posted by anonymous at February 28, 2012
    Tags: Attitude   Failure   2012 February

    I don't wanna bore you with another long and drawn out story with far too much background details, so I'll just concisely sum up where I'm at in my life right now -- 20 year old friendless virgin with a useless, broken dick (irreversible scar tissue damage from jerking off too quick/gripping too hard), 6'3" and a half, 140 pounds, yet I still have fat rolls and love handles (skinny fat guy), never kissed/hugged/dated/spoken to a girl before and I've dropped out of school. I've had Social Anxiety Disorder since I was a kid, too.

    I only own one pair of jeans 'cause I'm too poor to afford more. I've never owned a cellphone or much of anything else, either. My parents are on welfare and my dad is a crazy and abusive religious nutcase who's also a misogynist and believes women are worthless, when he indeed is the most worthless and useless piece of shit in the cosmos. Haven't left the house in 5 months and don't plan to anytime soon.

    I never had many friends growing up or at school and I did my best to keep them around. That included buying them lunch with the little money I had, even if that meant I'd starve most of the time. I always did little things like that, but they've all forgotten about me. I haven't spoke to any of them in years, and in feeling alone, I hit up some Internet chat-rooms, met some girls and felt human again.

    After seeing a picture or two of 'em, it became pretty evident that they were vapid, impressionable and insecure high ...

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    Comments: 2   Votes:


     

    Hopeless

    Posted by Kell at February 28, 2012
    Tags: Family   2012 February

    My mom is an alcoholic, my dad died of alcoholism, and my sister is a crack whore. I was raised by my mom for the first 3 years of my life, then my grandparents raised me until I was 8, my mom took me back and of course did a shit job not caring for me as one of her abusive boyfriends molested me 3 times, and was then taken by children's services until I was 10, then back with my grandparents until my grandma passed away then off to my aunt and uncle's at 11 up until 16. I was always running away, drinking, doing drugs, dating abusive men, getting charged, fined, and thrown in the drunk tank numerous times. I even prostituted myself for crack. Luckily, I graduated from high school but from a shitty school with shitty grades. I continuously date abusive dysfunctional men and got pregnant by one of them. During my pregnancy I stayed clean, got saved as a Christian, and from then on I've been doing my absolute hardest to better my life. I came from being the most self destructive disgusting lowlife to someone almost normal. EXCEPT I was on welfare for most of my pregnancy and the first year of my daughter's life. I was working for a year and had the most amazing boyfriend, almost PERFECT. He was going to buy a house, and we were going to move in together, get married, and have kids. He was also pretty rich, he bought me anything I wanted. Anyways, I fucked that up by taking back my daughter's dysfunctional dead beat father. Now I'm alone, and back on welfare. I've been trying SO hard to find a job but interview after interview still no f-ing job. I'm fed up with life and no matter how hard I try to make it better I get shit in the face. I just want a normal happy life.


    Comments: 2   Votes:


     

    Sometimes I wonder if the fight is worth it...

    Posted by TiredinNYC at February 28, 2012
    Tags: Anxiety   2012 February

    It all started in August a few years ago, I was laying down, relaxing reading a book when I got my first major panic attack. At the time, I thought it was just a fluke or because I was hungry but it was the beginning of the end of my life as I knew it. Things became really hard. My mother (i was 21 at the time) urged me to ask our doctor for medication and I did which resulted in the worst experience of my life. I was in the ER 2 times that night and was utterly sick for 3 weeks after. I had a promising life. I had graduated college with honors and had many offers for jobs in the fashion industry. I tried to get my life back in order a year later and accepted a job at a prominent fashion house. I started out with a lot of steam but after a few weeks I felt the anxiety looming so I quit and became even worse of an agoraphobic than before. Then all of the obsessive thoughts began kicking in. scared of germs, scared to eat meat, scared to eat anything due to fear of contamination, health concerns etc. My list of friends began to dwindle as did my social life (I am lucky that my loyal boyfriend has stuck with me). Then I was diagnosed with cervical cancer and had to undergo surgery and the fear of possibly dying. My mother got lymphoma and my grandma and my dog died. My anxieties manifested into severe stomach problems which made me even more apprehensive about leaving the house. I started to really hate myself and still do. I feel like what is the sense in trying? I have tri...

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    Comments: 13   Votes:


     

    Just Another Sucky Day

    Posted by c at February 28, 2012
    Tags: Attitude   2012 February   Sociopathy

    Well..being an ugly pear shaped woman who is below average in every way humanly possible doesn't help. Also the fact that people around me seem unhappy with their lives or the fact that they truly deserve better or a lot more in life. I hate the fact that local politicians and the like have made decisions that had already negatively affected the community just for the selfishness of a special interest group. I literally feel a bit sick everytime I need to go out especially in the summertime. I no longer feel comfortable being with people but I do things that involve them i.e. work/volunteer etc. because I have no choice being that I am also not rich or a genius. I could have all the intention, ambition, drive and so forth but it is nothing when I am and have nothing to make it happen. What is worse is that I have no means or power to help anyone else. Even though my health is not 100% and don't have the optimum fitness/energy levels, I can still move. Each day at some point I feel like I am just marking my days and waiting to die because there is no way now that I can achieve anything let alone make any positive difference for anyone else etc. Worse still knowing that many others may feel/experience the same or worse than I do - just sucks.


    Comments: 4   Votes:


     

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