LIFE SUCKS

Sometimes it's only madness that makes us what we are.

As a young child, i watched my parents murdered before my very eyes. Thomas and Martha (my parents) were walking home from the Monarch Theater one night with me, when we were held up at gunpoint by a mugger who demanded the pearl necklace that my mother was wearing. When when my father refused to surrender it, both he and my mum were shot dead in the streets :\.The killer was a criminal known as Joe Chill who was quite notorious round those parts at the time although he got his justice. Fortunately, my physician and social worker Leslie Thompkins was making a house call that night, and arrived to give me the loving comfort to the traumatized 10 year old me. I decided early that I would never take a life. Right around the time I decided that I wanted to live. It wasn't an arbitrary decision and it was more than moral. It's about identity. As long as you can choose that, choose who you are in the world... you can choose to call yourself sane.
I was then raised at my Manor estate as i had pretty succesfull parents, so we could afford those luxuries, with the help from my loyal butler i was cared for into my adulthood where he still serves me today but on a more...fatherly role. I had very few friends during my childhood, none if im totally honest, that can also be said for today as i dont trust anyone, not even my closest of ''friends'' theres this one ''friend'' who thinks he's totally indestructable but thats BULLSHIT! ive got plans just incase he thinks hes too good ...

Back to Start

I hate my life because of the fact that every time I try to get somewhere or go after my dreams, I get shut down. This is an example of something that actually happened to me:

Good Things:
-Joined a company selling laptops and made about $2,000 my first week off a sale
-Got a great girlfriend who was the first girl I ever fully felt safe with and connected with on such a level
-Got away from my emotionally and sometimes physically abusive mother who hates me because I'm transgender
-Got two jobs
-Finally bought a moped after years of taking the bus
-Moved out on my own and lived rent free with my girlfriend's coworker

Then my life happened:
-Company turned out to be a scam and involved with credit card fraud. Now I owe $2,000 to collections even after fighting my case.
-Girlfriend dumped me after a month to marry the man I was living with for his money.
-Had to move back in with mom because I couldn't find work and lost all my money taking the city bus to apply to jobs. She literally takes every chance she can to belittle me and remind me how much she does not care for me.
-Lost my previous two jobs even the one that my boss said he'd rehire me for
-Moped broke down on the way to girlfriend's house. Apparently the guy I bought it from completely messed up the wiring and two different mechanics couldn't fix it.

I hate my life. There are so many things that I want to do and I am working so hard to do the...

i wanna die!

im about to be 31 years old. i have never had a boyfiend, never been kissed nor had sex! i cant even pleasure myself cuz the feeling is too intense for me to handle. i almost weigh 300 pounds! i have small saggy boobs and a big hook nose. and i look 7 months pregnant but im not of course. my teeth are nasty and yellow and i have bushy eyebrows. i have a dead end job and only one friend who is no fun and doeasnt like to dance or drink. i have two low paying jobs and i am broke and in debt. my family has so many problems and stresses me out all the time.

My will to live is fading..

All my life I've been lonely. I used to try to get in with the 'cool' people to help ease my lonliness, but it never helped. Sometimes I'll just stay in the darkness of my room and try to sleep, until I get really bad headaches.

I somehow have the desire to be with/talk to people, and I don't know why. I wish I wasn't so dependant on others, it really leaves me vulnerable. I get attached way too easily. I always end up falling for girls who have no desire at all to be with me.

I know that my story may not be as sad as others'. However, it still hurts to be as lonely as I am. I don't know what to do. I've contemplated suicide, but it just seems pointless, and would be stupid for me to try. But I don't want to go on being lonely.. What do I do?

(Mercy, Truth, and all you other trolls feel free to comment your usual crap. It'll really boost my self-esteem..)

My mom doesn't want me anymore

My mom and I have never had a great life together. It was always constant bickering and fighting between us too and the same with her and my dad. My parents arguments have always been bad throughtout their marriage but never this bad. They had gotten into an argument very recently at around midnight. I overheard my mom say "If you want her, you can have her I DONT CARE!" Then she completely left our house and drove away.

No Way Out

I know most people have it much worse than me i have a family, and my friends dont hate me. However, my family hates me and my friends are stuffed animals. I have never been wanted. I have been raised thinking that people would be better off if I died. I have been suicidal for 13 of my 15 years of life, and have attempted suicide 18 times. If anyone can tell me anything it would help so much, even knowing someone cares.

Why do people treat me like this?

i was raped in fith grade by a seventh grader. the guy went to a coocoo house and came back when i was in eith grade and raiped me again. i supposevly have brain issues now because he hurt my head. im not like insane i just cant read right any more and i need an aid. everyone thinks im phsyco and i need help and pitty me when i feel like theres nothing wrong with me. i have to go to therapy evey week, i cant go anywhere alone, and i go to a "special school". i just wish it all would stop and i could be normal.
-amber

Virgin bitch

I am a virgin who is 28. I've been in an unmarried straight relationship for 10 years to a sweet man who loves me. I CANNOT bring myself to have intercourse with him. The thought disgusts me! I am not attracted to him at all! I fantasize about having sex with all kinds of men, just not him. I desperately want to have sex! Sometimes I fantasize about rape just so I can lose my virginity. I'm fat but I have a "pretty face." Like that's gotten me anywhere. I kissed another guy while in my current relationship (aka I cheated because I'm a heartless bitch), but then backed out when I saw where it was going because I have no self-esteem or confidence in my body and sexual abilities. I can't find another story like mine on the internet which makes me feel like an even bigger freak. I wish I could blame my virgin status on religion, pain, disabilities, etc. but it's nothing like that. I'm simply not attracted to my partner but am unwilling to break it off for fear of being alone. FML!!!!!

Fuck life

Omg I hate my life so much. Im 12 year old girl. It's been hell this past year. At first my friends my best friend hallie is moving away. Teaghan is also my best friend and she's moving half way across the world from me. Liam is my only best friend that still lives near me. My friend almost commit suicide this year now she cuts herself. Lovely, eh? So now the big story... I had this bf the same age as me, that would sexually assault me every single day. He forced me to giv him a hand job. (rlly quick) he's on drugs. Heroin, pot and ciggerettes. He almost raped me and told my best friend hallie that he was going to rape me. I went to my favourite teacher at skool before my parents. We got a restraining order but he still stalks me thru my friends. Around that time I gained dislexia and ADD. The docter said it wud hav been Noah (my ex bf) that caused it. Now I'm so scared of boys. I used to be straight but now I'm bisexual. My parents got in a huge fight and broke up. I ran away and now live with my aunt because mom thought I was on ectacy. I was for a while but not no more. 

I'm fucked in the head

I am a 16 year old, upper middle class,female, living in England. I live with my parents, who brought me up protestant christian, but I'm atheist and my brother often comes back from university for holidays, i am dyslexic (which can be annoying but oh well)I have relatively good grades and in September i will begin studying horse training. I have been riding horses since i was 6 and i love the thrill of it. I have my own horse and i want to make a career of it.I bet your thinking what a spoiled little bitch, complaining about her perfect life. I have friends(not popular not unpopular)i think I'm relatively attractive but i would personally like to lose a little weight, but doesn't every teenage girl. So, board yet? I know i am, and that my problem(or one of them)i love and hate my life, it seems so perfect but I'm board, i have a very hectic life but noting happens. I love a thrill, danger, but not the type you get from a roller coaster. Its hard to explain, i feel like i am screaming inside my own head.I want to someone to hurt me, i want to feel pain (emotionally) just to release my mind from perpetual boredom, I've wondered what it would be like to kill someone, or kill myself, i almost did once just based on curiosity. Everyone is so fucking boring, i want a puzzle, or a fright. I do role-plays in my head of someone trying to rape me, just so have have an excuse to stab them, just to make myself a little more interesting. I don't think I'm a psychopath as i do feel guilt. However i almost never feel empathy, i do occasionally for homeless people and starving children, but when my friend got raped, i didn't care, i even thought she kind of deserved it for being stupid enough to walk i not that trap, even after i warned her about it. I'm not complaining, i just wanted to speak up. And do you know what is the worst thing, i actually like that I'm so fucked. It makes me a little more interesting.

FML

I hate my mother she controls my family and I swear if she wasn't a part of this family life would be awesome. She yells 24/7 and doesn't know how to talk normally.She never smiles unless we have visitors or when she grounds me. She is so scary.One time I shaped my eyebrows and she got mad and said if I do it again she will shave them off. I go to the washroom at least once a day for about an hour and cry. Whenever we go out and I wear something I like she yells at me and tells me to change for no reason, fml.

is there a point to all this?

I am 38, divorced mother of one awesome 9 year old son. My son is the only reason I don't kill myself. It doesn't mean I don't think about it - it just means when I do consider it, I know I would have to make it look like an accident, for his sake.

I lost my job the same year I was divorced, 4 years ago. I've had one job since then, with a horribly abusive boss, each week worked hours without pay, it was really bad. Lasted a year. Without a bachelor's, I can't even get an interview.

After my divorce, I thought I found a guy who really got me, really loved me... turns out I was just an easily duped idiot, and fell for an addict, and his bullshit stories. He's gone - thank God. But I am so ashamed I let an addict manipulate me so completely - I let him into my life and into my son's life. He'll remember growing up with that piece of shit. I lost friends over it, too.

After that mess got sorted - time passed - and it seemed my ex-husband and I might rekindle our relationship. Once we talked about it though - I found that no way in hell was he interested in getting back together. His words - "I would have to be a fucking idiot to want that"
Wow.

I am overweight, trying to lose weight, but every time I "fall off the wagon", I get so discouraged - this year, I have lost net weight of TWO pounds. In 7 months. That's pathetic.

I am falling further into debt since I've gone back to college - so I can get my bachelor's and get a fr...

tired

i'm tired. my father beat me my whole childhood. i hated my mother even more than she hated me. i married an idiot who got me pregnant. he beat the shit out of me every chance he got. he committed suicide leaving me with his mentally handicapped kid. the suicide is the only good thing he ever did. now my kid has grown up and has schizophrenia and came home yesterday and tortured my dog and broke my collarbone. oh yeah and the second idiot i married left me two months ago after beating the shit out of me for 15 years. i fucking hate all men.

too much drama'n'trauma

when i was little, my daycare teacher abused me. She bit me so hard once it left bruises. I went through kindergarten to 4 th grade happily. But when i got to the summer i was going into sixth grade i got a crush on my neighbor who i was already friends with his sisters. His mom was like mine,my parents had fought alot so i went next door with my best friends and my boyfriend andmy mom figure. One day the girls went to visit their relatives in a different state for the summer. Then the boys left. My mother figure, who me and my best friends loved so much was found... dead. I was depressed, started middle school as the only goth, then i started noticing personality changes. One so happy, so funny, had no paiQaving more insomnia, personality changes, ans misunderstanding words and misreading. More headaches too
I have always been different, what remember how but i ended up on my couch. Ive always been different, im called crazy, stupid, worthless to society. But when i look in the mirror, all i see is a 12 year old girl who has been torchered, abused, betrayed, and lost since she was born. I am 2 people. I keep it to myself, everyone thinks its acting. I am different. And i know i am evil. My parents fight, my cousin cost me one of my best friends with drama. And my other best friends are unknowingly replacing me. I can not love, for all i am is destructive, and hateful. I only trust God. I know he will never doubt me, even when i doubt myself.

Fuck this place

Fuck this world. I hate this place. I should have never been born. I'm tired of day in and day out being here in this place where I am hated because I'm a trans guy. I've heard many times that what makes life meaningful are relationships with people. I do not have the opportunity to have relationships because I am constantly hiding who I am just to get by. Imagine being a guy and having always felt like a guy but not growing up in your correct body, going through the wrong puberty, having the wrong childhood memories. Imagine feeling wrong and every fucking day hearing that you are wrong. Imagine not feeling here, present, connected in anyway. I shouldn't be here.

I'm so miserable

I'm 11 years old and my life is terrible....I have a great brother who cares about me and loves me but he lives California away from me.... I also have a dad with the same traits as him but he lives in California also and I have a second brother who is 14 years old he constantly bullies me pushes me around calls me name hits me and much worse my mom disciplines me in awful ways she uses the belt and mostly her fists and doesn't care about me At all a couple days my brother called me a dumbass right in front of my mom and she didn't even care I talk to my dad everyday my mom and dad were divorced before I was even born. I Thought I had a lot of friends but this girl always says me and her a best friends but he told someone that I was gay and her sister saw our text messages and mr brother uses against me just a second ago I was praying to God asking him to take my life but I don't know if he will do that......me and him have a good relationship together and are BFF so yeah I always ask him for help and everything I hope I get to meet him and everything the end

oh woe is me...

I fuckin hate life... i'm short, inner bow legged and have the face of a mongoloid... ive had medical problems since the cradle, and i'm sick of it... people truly really don't give a shit about anyone else, just all a good act/// not even your own fuckin family cares// if life has taught me anything, it's that you can only depend on yourself. So, fuck y'all. don't be telling me lies that "you wish you coulod help", or "oh, i know how that must feel" cuz ya fuckin don't...not feelin sorry for myself, i'm a lone survivor who is totally independant, ll i really want is a girlfriend who understands me...i help people out there...

Just me and my story.

I'm 17 years old. My life has always been full of disappointments. When I was 8, my parents split up. I didn't even care then. I've never been close with either of them so I just learned how to deal with it. Then, when I became a teen, I realised that I'm alone and always have been. Nobody cares, nobody supports me. I never see my parents- my mother works late and I haven't been speaking to my father for over two years because his idea of parenting was giving me money each month and that was it. My parents screwed me up so bad taht I can't commit to anyone, I'm just too frightend even though I know I need it more than anything else. I'm depressed. It first happened when I was 15 and still, I kind of can't get rid of it. When I was 16, I moved 300 km away from home, transfered to a bording school, started to fight depression and anorexia, but it keeps coming back, even though I've tried everything, left everything behind and tried to make myself happy. But all I got was this: I fell in love with my gay friend and got rejected, but I expected that; became bulimic and kept being depressed. All the time. Still.Life sucks.

Why am I on this planet

Sometimes I wonder what I am doing here? What is my purpose? I am a 50 year old guy. I have been a self employed Contractor for 30 years and have been struggling my whole life to get by. It always seems like there is a bill waiting for me every time I turn around. I can never get ahead. Of course I live in California. Besides the great weather it is the worse place to live on the planet if you are self employed. The work is slow and the Mexican can do the same thing for half the price.
I have two daughters that could give a shit about me. One is gay and lives in San Fransico and the other lives with three guys and is a ex-stipper. They only call when they need money or a truck. They would steal from me in a heart beat. One of them stole my wife's gold jewelry and my Grandmothers wedding ring. I'm sure they got the weight of gold for them.
My House is under water by $100,000 and Bank of America sold my mortgage to Greentree mortgage Co. and they suck. No loan mod. and not part of the Government program to help.
What the Fuck is Life good for?

infer

I have no sperm, can't have a child. didn't find out for decades...