|Posted by D-N0 at August 5, 2013|
1987 DUI #1. Blew 0.18 I had that one coming! 1997 Having a manic episode that had been on going for about 2 to 2 1/2 week prior to the arrest. Working 2nd shift I would get up get my son 5 at the time ready for school and then when he was done with school he would get on a bus and got to a sitters I would pick him up after work. Well Nov 18th 1997 after work I didn't pick him up I felt his life was in danger. I thought I was being followed and that they was after my son. I went home couldn't sleep all night. Around 8am. I went and told my land lord he was a racist because the weekend prior to me having a full blown manic episode his daughter was sitting my son and when I came home my house was full of her personal belongings and she proceeded to tell me her day my land lord had kicked her out for going to prom with a friend that was Mexican. It's wasn't even a date she just didn't get ask to prom and decided to go with a friend. Anyhow, back to Nov. 19th I take off for Arkansas for some reason I felt I needed a break and my sister lives there. I live 90 miles west of Chicago. So I tell my land lord off get in the car and head south. I am laughing and crying and not knowing what is wrong. Somehow, I get lost on a trip I have taken more than 20 times. I end up north of Chicago drive thru a schools lawn and enter the school disrupt some classes and end up in the principals office. Police arrive and I am arrested. I was taken to the hospital and they used a DUI kit on me. I ...
|Posted by dumbassdad at June 16, 2013|
Mothers day 2013, get up early, make breakfast for 4 kids and Mom, clean up dishes, load up 4 kids and the wife in the SUV and take them to the Beach / Boardwalk for the day. Dinner for 6 aat a 4 Star ressstaurant and get home at 10 pm. Cost 500.00. Didn't even get laid that night. Fast forward to today, Fathers Day 2013. Woke up early, family slept in until 11 am. No one even made fucking coffee or wished me a Happy Fathers Day after they woke up. At noon I was asked what 8 wanted to do today and I replied I don't know. Hell, the day was half gone. Then I was accused of not wanting to do anything so the wife and younger daughters left at 1 pm for the afternoon leaving me alone at home. Teenage sons disappeared at 12 and haven't heard shit. Here I sit at 4 pm alone in my home with 2 generic cards from the wife and kids and a fucking cheap ass bbq apron from the dollar store left in the kitchen. Fathers Day my ass. I already feel like a fucking door mat and a paycheck, but the blatand disregard and lack of respect for me one fucking day out of the year in unconciounable. I won't be here next fucking Fathers Day I can god damn guarantee you. Plans and implementation for my exodus are in the works.
|Posted by anonymous at March 21, 2013|
my name is kc.I am 13 yrs old .my mom yells at me all the time and my brother abuses me.I was born with bipolar disorder and have attempted suicide 7 times.the only thing tht keeps me goin is my current bf.everyone hates me for some reason.I was almost raped but escaped. The person who tried to rape me was my so called bff.can u hlp me?
|Posted by mary at February 14, 2013|
I am 54, obese woman who goes to bed at night hoping I won't wake up. I think about killing myself all the time but have a family and wouldn't want them to suffer. I have been depressed for as long as I can remember. I have been in therapy for the majority of my life and have tried most anti depressants with no success. My youngest son has stolen most of my deceasts mothers cherished jewelry and it has broken my already broken heart. When I was younger I felt there was hope that things would change and I would overcome my depression. I now know that some people are too damaged to change. I have spent my whole life feeling bad and the idea of having to spend the rest of my life like this is unbearable and yet that is my fate... Unless I die in my sleep!
|Posted by Tanishia Smith at February 13, 2013|
My daughter died on 1-6-2013 from a bad asthma attack. I picked her up from daycare on my moms birthday. We were on our way to my sisters house to pick her up for the party when my daughter said she couldnt breathe. I thought it was just another acute asthma attack so i gave her some puffs of her inhaler. But she kept saying mom i really cant breathe. This had happened before so I rushed to my sisters house (I ran every light on the street). I made it there and my daughter kept saying I cant breathe. We gave her the breathing machine and called 911. She collapsed 5 minutes later and started foaming at the mouth. I had no idea she was dieing. My sister did C.P.R until the ambulance arrived. It took them forever to get there we kept calling and calling. When they arrived they tried to save her but my baby died. I still cant beleive it. It feels like a knife cut my heart open. It hurts. I feel so guilty because I didnt save my baby. I wish everyday I would have driven to the hospital. But the hospital was twenty minutes away. My daughter was only 9 years old. No one can beleive it. I have two other kids and most days I hate waking up. I cry all day it feels like im having a heartache. I wish my baby was still here. I think about taking my own life. I dont know what to do.
|Posted by anonymous at February 1, 2013|
I was so depressed on new years day that I decided to kill myself. I took myself to the ER because I was out of control and they placed me on an involuntary hold in the psych ward (5150). I was scheduled to discharge on the 7th, but my fiancee visited me to end our relationship that day so they held me until the 8th. I discharged on the 8th, which was my 27th birthday, and had to go directly to class. My fiancee moved out, so I am alone in our home now with our cats and it's a disaster. I am withdrawing from university because this is too much to handle right now, so I have to push back my graduation. But since my fiancee and I aren't getting married this summer anymore it's not as bad I guess. My mom called me tonight saying she wants to have a heart to heart about our mental illnesses, but she can't tonight because she's too drunk. The stress is unbelievable, it's so thick I can taste it.
|Posted by anonymous at July 20, 2012|
As a young child, i watched my parents murdered before my very eyes. Thomas and Martha (my parents) were walking home from the Monarch Theater one night with me, when we were held up at gunpoint by a mugger who demanded the pearl necklace that my mother was wearing. When when my father refused to surrender it, both he and my mum were shot dead in the streets :\.The killer was a criminal known as Joe Chill who was quite notorious round those parts at the time although he got his justice. Fortunately, my physician and social worker Leslie Thompkins was making a house call that night, and arrived to give me the loving comfort to the traumatized 10 year old me. I decided early that I would never take a life. Right around the time I decided that I wanted to live. It wasn't an arbitrary decision and it was more than moral. It's about identity. As long as you can choose that, choose who you are in the world... you can choose to call yourself sane.
I was then raised at my Manor estate as i had pretty succesfull parents, so we could afford those luxuries, with the help from my loyal butler i was cared for into my adulthood where he still serves me today but on a more...fatherly role. I had very few friends during my childhood, none if im totally honest, that can also be said for today as i dont trust anyone, not even my closest of ''friends'' theres this one ''friend'' who thinks he's totally indestructable but thats BULLSHIT! ive got plans just incase he thinks hes too good ...
|Posted by Anony-Mouse at July 11, 2012|
I hate my life because of the fact that every time I try to get somewhere or go after my dreams, I get shut down. This is an example of something that actually happened to me:
-Joined a company selling laptops and made about $2,000 my first week off a sale
-Got a great girlfriend who was the first girl I ever fully felt safe with and connected with on such a level
-Got away from my emotionally and sometimes physically abusive mother who hates me because I'm transgender
-Got two jobs
-Finally bought a moped after years of taking the bus
-Moved out on my own and lived rent free with my girlfriend's coworker
Then my life happened:
-Company turned out to be a scam and involved with credit card fraud. Now I owe $2,000 to collections even after fighting my case.
-Girlfriend dumped me after a month to marry the man I was living with for his money.
-Had to move back in with mom because I couldn't find work and lost all my money taking the city bus to apply to jobs. She literally takes every chance she can to belittle me and remind me how much she does not care for me.
-Lost my previous two jobs even the one that my boss said he'd rehire me for
-Moped broke down on the way to girlfriend's house. Apparently the guy I bought it from completely messed up the wiring and two different mechanics couldn't fix it.
I hate my life. There are so many things that I want to do and I am working so hard to do the...
|Posted by AP at July 10, 2012|
Since childhood i have lonely no one cared, supported me i was brought up in very orthodox family. no personal life,i became hell to live anymore infact inm getting suicidal thoughts now, i have lived enough now i dont wanna live anymore. there is noone to cry for me.
|Posted by poo at July 10, 2012|
I am from goa, india... well my story is that i had a bf with whom i was in relation for 9 years but was never serious, he loved me, cared me but i never liked him nor loved him, was waiting for my dream boy. later as my parents knew him told me to get married to him, i wasnt ready. later my dream boy came into my life ( i.e my husband ex) he proposed me at the very first day, but i wasnt sure as i found him too flirtous, still i was attracted to him. i informed my parents abt my this new guy into my life, but my parents told to stay away as he is a nre and shd never trust them. due to this i stopped talking to him, taking his calls. i got legally registered with my bf.. but later realised i have done a mistake. then this new boy started callingme again, i got attracted on his talks and the way he impressed me. we went out for date, which i found i get along with him quiet well. i informed him i am legally married and our relation is not possible, in return he told me to annual the marriage and get married to him, which he spoke to advocate and got my marriage annuelled. later we ran away and got married. soon after 3 months he left me and went to australia, i was expecting our first child, 10 months i was staying with his parents, which i came to know my husband is a womeniser, he loves to have new girls in his life, weather married or young he doesnt mind. after marriage when i was 7 mths pregnant i cam eto know he had relation with a married women and ...
|Posted by anonymous at July 10, 2012|
Well here it is I'm looking at my life and just wondering why.. The time I've spent on this planet has been well it's been yea I can't find the right words to describe it. I turn 19 in 17 days and I'm not sure I'll be around that long. I work like a dog for a worthless check my car is falling apart. My hopes of getting a girlfriend diminish every day. And the clocks running down till eviction day. I'm still in highschool (where I'm openly hated by the majority of teachers and students alike). It's summer now and it just keeps getting hotter. I work at a grocery store that's 45 minutes away from where I live now. I'm just tired that sums up my life I'm tired of working a lousy 10 to 20 hours a week when I was promised at least 30. I'm tired of being looked down on by the people around me. I'm tired of getting screwed over at every turn. I'm immensely tired of the poor state of the society around me. A 23 year old who lives at my friends house is a litteral pedophile who is constantly trying to sleep with 14 and 15 year old girls on a regular basis and he gets praised for that shit. It literally makes me sick to my stomach to see the world around me.
So here's a little bit of my history. Since age 14 I've been had a bad run of events. For my 14 birthday I spent the day working and the night alone. My 15th was real fun I went to the corner store to buy some food and I got jumped. 16 I got evicted. Just before 17 my dad tried to commit suicide 2 days later I was forced t...
|Posted by Reality at July 9, 2012|
I'm 28 years old, and I've spent the majority of my life being more concerned about the happiness of my friends and family than my own. So here I am, an emasculated husk of a kind man wrung dry of any joy. I hope this serves as a message to any like minded individuals being used as a crutch.
Stop. Stop giving your time away to people that won't or can't give theirs back I'm return. I can't tell you the amount of friends that I've helped move houses, only for them to snub me when I need a favor. Stop helping these leeches.
Start. Start living your life at the expense of others. Take what you want, don't be ashamed of being a dick to people. No one else is ashamed of being a dick to you.
Don't. Don't wind up like me: someone who gave their emotions and generosity to too many people, leaving none for myself. Don't fall back into the same routine of lending a hand to assholes because giving in is easier than hearing them bitch and moan for your help.
Do. Do find someone to love and have all to yourself. If you wait it will be too late. Grab that girl on the street you think is hot and tell her so.
And be a dick about it.
|Posted by Women are crazy and men are stup at July 9, 2012|
Last sat I went to work in the evening hours to accomplish some work that was overdue. When I left the house that night i told my fiancé or girlfriend, not sure what she was at the time that I was going to work and i would be back in a few hours. The night before we got into a huge argument, which was started by me. I was frustrated because she would not and has not had sex with me but only twice in over two months. Granted I said horrible things, things of which I do regret and if I could take them back may she would still be here. I apologized the next day and promised I would get help, we have had our problems in the past and I asked her to go to counseling with me which was free for us because I'm in the military. Her response was always "I'm not going, you can go alone" long story short the night I went to work I came home around 1100 and her stuff and most of my daughters stuff was gone. She would not answer her phone and has ignored me since. It probably sounds bad and somewhat pathetic that I want her back but I have my reasons. It really wasnt all her fault and sometimes the way she treated me makes me think she never really loved me at all, I bought a home for us and mainly my daughter and now I'm losing the house, my truck and my credit is ruined past recovery. I want to talk to her so bad and I wish I could wake up from this nightmare I'm in. I miss my family!
|Posted by bludanzr at July 9, 2012|
im about to be 31 years old. i have never had a boyfiend, never been kissed nor had sex! i cant even pleasure myself cuz the feeling is too intense for me to handle. i almost weigh 300 pounds! i have small saggy boobs and a big hook nose. and i look 7 months pregnant but im not of course. my teeth are nasty and yellow and i have bushy eyebrows. i have a dead end job and only one friend who is no fun and doeasnt like to dance or drink. i have two low paying jobs and i am broke and in debt. my family has so many problems and stresses me out all the time.
|Posted by Destroyed Hope at July 9, 2012|
All my life I've been lonely. I used to try to get in with the 'cool' people to help ease my lonliness, but it never helped. Sometimes I'll just stay in the darkness of my room and try to sleep, until I get really bad headaches.
I somehow have the desire to be with/talk to people, and I don't know why. I wish I wasn't so dependant on others, it really leaves me vulnerable. I get attached way too easily. I always end up falling for girls who have no desire at all to be with me.
I know that my story may not be as sad as others'. However, it still hurts to be as lonely as I am. I don't know what to do. I've contemplated suicide, but it just seems pointless, and would be stupid for me to try. But I don't want to go on being lonely.. What do I do?
(Mercy, Truth, and all you other trolls feel free to comment your usual crap. It'll really boost my self-esteem..)
|Posted by anonymous at July 9, 2012|
-My mom doesn't listen to anyone or cares about anyone except her stupid dumb fucking boyfriend
-My brothers are lazy shits that never clean
-I'm always stuck being the mom around the house
-My mom doesn't use common sense. like ugh!
-I hate always cleaning the house after my disgusting brothers
- I want to move out, but I'm too young and don't have any money. My mom doesn't want me to move out, but she's not showing me a reason to freaking stay.
-I'm just this girl whose thoughts control her
-I'm never going to have a great life
-I try so damn hard to be positive and happy, but depression and anger always destroys me.
-I want to go get hit by a car
-I always loose my chances at meeting people
-No one seems to care for me
-Oh, I wrote a poem one day and put it in a contest and they sent me a letter telling me my poem was in a book to send $70, and my stupid self thought i was awesome for being f-ing publish...but it was a god damn scam
-I signed up for the local gym and they charged $50 a month, but i never go because I feel so intimidated by the people there, i'm so stupid.
-I don't even look that bad, I think i'm beautfiul...just with personal issues
-I started falling for this guy in middle school and we grew up together, and now his sister told me he wants to get married...so that murdered my heart
-I saw a cute guy downtown and we connected eyes like two times for so long each time, and i never got his fuckking name or number,...so i feel like a damn loser.
-I feel like life is just boring these days and there is nothing to look forward to anymore.
-Maybe I should just end it all? What will I do?
-I mean I have a dumb job.
-I just don't care about things like I use too.
-I just don't care anymore.
|Posted by Anony at July 8, 2012|
I read so many stories here of loneliness, joblessness... and I'm on the other side of the fence. Why doesn't it seem better? I think my wife hates me. We don't have sex anymore, if I touch her she walks away, and as a married man, I can 't really look anywhere else. I guess in that way I'm lonely too. I think I might resent her too much too. She won't work, keeps saying she will, but she has been at home for pretty much the last 5 years. Doesn't really make or have friends. I think she's depressed but doesn't want to address it.
I go to work every day for little more than minimum wage to try and support a family of 5. On my paydays, my paycheque is gone from my bank account before I am home from work, and still I'm left wondering what I'm going to eat a day later and have nothing but cans of soup from the food bank to try and give myself energy for a labor intensive job day after day.
I am reliant on my wife to drive me to and from work, as I don't have a drivers license. I can't afford courses or to write the test for that matter. My wife hates the fact that she has to drive me to work every day.
I have 3 children (one of them a step daughter) ages 3, 8 and 15. I am hungry and tired and don't have the energy to spend with them, nor am I a happy person to deal with. I spend my time online trying to find an escape to a better world even if imaginary.... and I know I am going to regret not spending these years with my kids yet I can't seem to stop.... the real world is just too discouraging and fruitless.
|Posted by avi at July 8, 2012|
My mom and I have never had a great life together. It was always constant bickering and fighting between us too and the same with her and my dad. My parents arguments have always been bad throughtout their marriage but never this bad. They had gotten into an argument very recently at around midnight. I overheard my mom say "If you want her, you can have her I DONT CARE!" Then she completely left our house and drove away.
|Posted by anonymous at July 8, 2012|
My girlfriend who is the sweetest most honest person I think I've ever met just moved in with a male roommate. I don't think she would cheat on me. But the situation has been giving me a lot of anxiety. I hate my job. And I don't feel like I really have much of a future. I live with my Father and take care of him. He has a grade 4 brain tumor. For several years now I've thought about killing myself. About 10 months ago I decided that I am going to do it once my Father passes. A few weeks back I went out and bought a Glock 27 to help me complete my task. No one knows how much of a piece of shit I am. I hate myself.Many nights I cry myself to sleep. I try and act like a pretty chill guy when I'm around people. But the truth is I just want to die. Pretty soon I will be able to end my life. I'm writing a will. And the few assets that I have will be left to my GF. I guess I should buy a coffin. Or prepay at the crematory. I don't want to leave any bullshit for someone else to do. I have never mentioned any of this to anyone before. And this is the closest I've come to talking about it. I guess there's really not much to talk about. Just stuff to do. Affairs to get in order and such. Best of luck to you all.
|Posted by anonymous at July 8, 2012|
I know most people have it much worse than me i have a family, and my friends dont hate me. However, my family hates me and my friends are stuffed animals. I have never been wanted. I have been raised thinking that people would be better off if I died. I have been suicidal for 13 of my 15 years of life, and have attempted suicide 18 times. If anyone can tell me anything it would help so much, even knowing someone cares.