|Posted by anonymous at June 9, 2012|
I had a sad childhood living like a foster child, house to house,no love, plenty of abuse, sexual, etc. Became promiscuous and rebellious; drugs, drinking, just plain crazy.
At 15 I was going to kill myself, but went to a youth revival and prayed and gave my mess to Jesus. Wow- He really changed me. Then I wanted to help everyone else in pain. Got degree in Counseling and Biblical studies. Thought I might be a missionary. Just wanted to help everyone. Fastforward; married a preacher- then allllll hell broke loose on us. Everyone stabbed us in the back, threatened us, tried to take our churches. Really really hated us. And so many of our loved ones have died. Our hearts have been burned big time. Now my 2 kids left home as teens and denied everything they were taught, my husband is cold and dead to me. He told another lady he loved things about her and kissed her on the hand, like he did our first date- that melted my heart because it was so innocent.
I have looks and talent but it only brings hatred and envy. I have enormous empathy and compassion- yet no one values anything about me. Now I'm thinking of leaving my husband but now he's all lovie dovie and begging for forgiveness. I've been suicidal most of my adult life- and largely due to him. Just want to share since I have no one to talk to. Wish I knew what to do. So sick of pain.
|Posted by Jay. at June 9, 2012|
Where should i start. I've grown up in a very broken up family that includes (Abusers, Molesters, Alcoholics, Drug Addicts.) My Father was the abuser & alcoholic in the family he started beating my Mother when she became pregnant with me tried killing her by choking her until she almost died. After I was born I became his second punching bag not even a month old he would blow pepper in face because he thought it was funny spin me around in a desk chair till I would throw up. When I was a around three months old I had colic and one night it was so bad I was crying in my crib he was upset that I was disturbing his sleep he slapped me in the face so hard my Mother couldn't leave the house for days because fear of DCF. My Parents eventually got divorced when I was almost two but my Mother cared more about getting herself away from my Father than she cared about getting me away from him she signed custody over to him and moved across the country and moved on with her life while I was being beaten for everything I did and didn't do. About five years go by and my older cousin started molesting me every morning (at the time he stayed with us) and I didn't know exactly what was going on I never told any body because he would threaten me and I've kept it to myself for many years. My Father still abused me as I got older but it wasn't just the usual "ur my punching bag" he started using objects such at throwing a tv at my head breaking things that belonged to me locking me up in my...
|Posted by bigfish at June 5, 2012|
My earliest memory.. My uncle tearing me open when i was 5. Im still left with scar tissue from when he raped me. over and over. I was raped again when i was 8 by a different man. all i remember from my childhood is being scared that someone would hurt me again. being scared of any men. At 9 years old i started developing very severe mental disorders. depression, anxiety, dissasociative disorders and early phsycosis. All i wanted was to die. i tried to die regularly. I would watch movies with women being raped and beaten over and over because i related to it so well.
At 12 my mental disorders had worsened by miles. i tried drowning myself before school everyday because everyday at school a girl would abuse me in every way. in class she would cut me with a compass or scissors she would make me miss class so she could get her friends to hold me down so she could beat me or abuse me sexually.
Once again i was raped by an older boy at school. One day i went into a full blown phsycotic episode. I took a knife to school so she couldnt hurt me that day. i wanted to cut her open the way she had done it to me every day for 2 years. Of course i was arrested and she was known as the victem ever since.
I was put in a mental ward for months and months.
Im on more medication than i could poke a stick at just so i can function these days. Life isnt much better in the past 5 years ive been severly beaten and burned by multiple men. ex lovers. of course i had never learned that being hurt isnt acceptable so i would just put up with it.
Im just waiting for the light at the end of the tunnel.
My advice for men/women/teenagers/kids in distress.. dont tollerate it. no one deserves to live through hell like i have. stand up for yourself.
Stay strong everyone!
|Posted by anonymous at June 3, 2012|
Where to begin...... When I was a child I was abused daily by my parents. My father beat me with a leather belt until I had welts all over me. My mother beat me over the head with a wooden cutting board til it broke. I was forced to drink large amounts of juice til i puked and wet myself and then i was beat for it.When I was in kindergarten the teacher called the police because I came to school with cigarette burns on my arms. No one told me I needed to bathe daily. I was sent to school dirty, with huge knots in my hair and hungry. I cried everyday. When I was ten my father molested me. I pretended to be asleep cause I was afraid. When I was 12 my father left us and my mother started gambling away what little cash we had 7 nights a week. My mother would drive us around town all hours of the night looking for my dad. We eventually found him living with another woman. My mother then tried to commit suicide in front of me. She took a bunch of pills and I remember all the neighbors in my living room surrounding her passed out on the couch and the ambulance and paramedics. It was terrifying. They put her in a padded room for a while and my dad came back home with my sister and me. He was never there though. He would disappear for days at a time leaving me to raise my eight year old sister and myself at 12 years old. We ate moldy crackers cause there was no food. Then they let my mother out of the looney bin and my dad took us to pick her up. On the way home he pulled off to t...
|Posted by anonymous at May 18, 2012|
Well my names marilyn melendez my life has been sooo messed up I have been homeless for a long ass time...since I was 18 and I Am now 23...I have had a lot of jobs well actually I was in foster care so I have had a fucked up life since I was a baby...everything in my life has had hopelessness...I have always been HEARTBROKEN...everyday was hard. My mom was a drug addict my sperm doner never cared and abused me in everyway...I have always been hurt. I was sexually abused by my own fucking father and hit and threatened every single day I hoped and prayed that my mother would stop doing drugs and alcohol so she can help me. Everyday I looked in the mirror and gave up on my self I was a scared and lonely girl, I never had clothes and I never had love. So I turned eleven and my sister told my real mom what happened to me and them...so we got sent to foster care when I was 11. I have nightmares and sometimes I go into rages and drink and smoke before I used drugs...but when I was growing up my mom was always in rehabs I was always trying to survive and keep my head up. How can all this crap happen to me?? So I ran track in middle school ran cross country and track all in high school. Always came with a medal or trophy but nobody recognized it. I gratuated went to college still trying to finish college but I got adopted when I was 18 and I got kicked out at 18 I suffered so much in my adulthood..so grey so drunk..my ex used me...I can't believe I was so stupid...I still feel stupid I have tried to be strong I try to live life happy but sometimes I can't move on. I stay in the past and that's no good. Right now its 7 am it' s Friday I don't have a job I had a nightmare I have my brother living with me and my boyfriend and I have seven brothers and sisters nobody really talks to me...my life is crazy and sad I need to change it..clear my mind for peace. Help me god. What's my purpose..is this all you have in store for me is just hell.
|Posted by SilentlySufferingSam at May 17, 2012|
I grew up not knowing the many secrets kept from me...
I grew up perfectly with my mother and father with me, they divorced when i was young, i didn't mind since they both stayed in my life... though my dad worked so much i only talked to him once every few months. Me and my mother were once somewhat close. i was always a silent and shy child... but when i turned 10 things changed. my mother told me my father wasn't my biological father. She told me he died, soon after they broke up, he cheated on my mom before i was born, while she was pregnant with me. Then she began dating, i had a younger sister and even younger brother. When my mom was pregnant with my brother, my step-dad hit her the stomach with a shovel, that made my brother autismic, it hit him directly in the head. My sister has a mental issue that makes her violent and emotional, short tempered, that she inherited. My mother has a learning disability, but won't admit her memory issues, paranoia. and additional mental issues.... I'm the only one in the family that is sane, I've always been good but because of my moms issues she always thinks im a problem child. While she dated, some of her partners would watch us while she went to work, one had ms, multiple scerosis, she tried to kill my mom with a knife she took from the kitchen while we were in school, my mom barely escaped the house that time, and if she didn't, i would have came home that day, to be killed myself... That woman had used her daughter in he...
|Posted by chris at May 17, 2012|
I was born a mistake baby and an only child. At the time of my birth, my mom was 15 and my dad was 21. Both parents were huge into drugs such as marijuana. My parents never liked each other at all and they seemed to take their anger out on me. I was neglected a lot as a child and the only one to take care of me was once in a blue moon my great grandmother. My parents did not approve of her taking care of me because of some (in my opinion selfish) mindset that they were mature and smart enough to take care of me without any help. They clearly were not. Many times I was left in my crap-filled diaper crying and starved. My great grandmother then passed away when I was around the age of 10 months. After living out an abused childhood, my aunt finally got involved and tried to obtain custody of me. She won. I was placed into my overly religious Aunt's home in a really bad neighborhood. When I started Kindergarten, I was really socially awkward from years of physical and mental abuse as a child. I hardly knew how to do anything. After getting some good therapy and teachers despite my overall luck, I became an average bible loving kid who did very well in school. My aunt had a brain aneurysm when I was 11 which ruined me. Not only was I know an oddball who isolated myself from anyone from the loss, but my mom proved herself as a somewhat decent parent. Even though the courts believed her, she was not. The only reason she tried to make herself look good was for government benefit...
|Posted by anonymous at May 12, 2012|
Before I tell my "story", just need to mention that to many people my life is "great". From the outside it seems that I'm smart, have a good degree, a job and "friends". From the inside, I may have all those things, but I feel that I dont have the friends people think I am.
So the story begins from birth really (I'm 21 now). My parents were not really in touch with the social medium within the country as they were born and raised elsewhere. They gave me a name that was normal in their (and my) home country however, not so normal in the UK. For this, I was bullied throughout my school life. It began in primary school with the normal name calling, but due to it occuring on a daily basis I entered a shell, and did not feel secure emotionally or physically. The bullying continued from the moment I entered secondary school (aged 11). It was constant, rarely did a day go by when I did get verbally (or rarely physically) abused. It led to me having very few friends and even these were just people to hang out with at school, not to see over the weekend or even the holidays. I don't talk to anyone from my secondary school anymore. At university things began to get better, as lets face it people are more mature there. However, my social anxiety haunted me and I found it hard to trust people. I ended up with a small group of friends, however, recently they have begun to outcast me..increasing this feeling of loneliness I've had all my life.
I feel that this bullying has made me extremely secure, and not great socially. I consider myself to be depressed, and often have bad thoughts. Don't really know what I have to gain by telling my story, just felt it may be good to get it out.
Any advice or words of help would be welcomed (not sure if its possible on here though? lol).
|Posted by Justin at April 27, 2012|
Well all my life have been abused physically and mentally by my dad, although i do love my mother she just backs him up most of the time because i believe she is afraid of his abuse. So the abuse pretty much marked my childhood and teenage years. Made me really withdrawn and just a loner pretty much. the relationships i've had with women have all ended with me being cheated on. I hate my family minus my mother, she's about the only one i can talk to. The childhood and teenage years of abuse pretty much caused me to turn to drugs and alcohol, got a dui and some other drug charges that will stick with me for life. I told myself things cant get worst and quit the drugs and alcohol which was very hard with the situation i was in. Then at the beginning of this year my dickweed brother got in a fight with me and broke my wrist, also had 250 cash stolen from my wallet at the hospital which was nver recovered. So i told myself it doesn't get any worst than this, but on the way home i ended up hitting a deer minor damage to the car but about 1000 dollars to fix it. Then few weeks later on the way to work got ran off the road by another car and ended up rolling my own car, yet i got ticketed for not maintaining lane control(fucking piglet) totaled the car, insurance covered most but it went to the bank for the loan i had on it. Got a rental car for 30 days from the insurance. Didn't have it a week and and another car hit and run, so i didn't want to make another insurance claim so im going to pay for the damages myself because there minor and my insurance deductible is 500 dollars so for another five hundred the damn thing could be fixed. So yea right now stuck without a car and im hoping and praying things don't get worst but as they say history does repeat itself. Well thanks for listening.
|Posted by Fox at April 26, 2012|
When I was a kid I had no friends in school everyone ignored me and made fun of me over stupid things... I eventually started to skyive school and try faking being sick and stuff I remember screaming and crying because I didn't want to go everyone would talk about me behind my back so I just decided I would ignore them all and not stoop towards there level... Eventually I felt so alone I would cry about being alone all the time and self harm my self when I was in the bath with my razor blades...eventually people started to notice that there was something wrong with me they noticed my scratches but did nothing about it I eventually started trying to gain some aspect of control over my life by being anorexic because every thing was just falling apart I had no real friends and my mum and dad were split up and argued a lot my mum was also an alcoholic I remember comforting her when she was sick and crying screaming my name....then when I was 14 my dad committed suicide I was the first person to discover his body...I still think I'm living in a nightmare and I will wake up soon, when I discovered his body time went by so slowly I remember thinking about how much I missed him already and that I wish that I could have helped him... I also remember staring at my reflection as if to comfort myself because my dad was the only one who I really cared about me he was my best friend and the only person I felt safe with... After he died me my mum and my sister moved away to be closer to...
|Posted by anonymous at April 26, 2012|
When I was 8 years old, my father knocked off his secretary, and I was sent away to boarding school so my parents could sort out their marriage. The first few nights I was there, I was molested by other boys. The staff knew what had happened, but they did nothing.
I begged my parents to let me come home. They never said a word.
I didn't have one single romantic experience in high school, despite working out at an insane level. All that happened was girls regarded me with pity, and said I'd meet someone.
I turned to drugs and alcohol after leaving school. At 19, I had my first mental breakdown. I couldn't go five minutes without crying and having a panic attack. My doctor prescribed me an antidepressant and an antipsychotic, the latter of which killed my soul and made me gain 4 stone in 6 months. I was 8 stone, now I'm nearer 13.
I tried to come off the olanzapine recently, and experienced psychotic symptoms. Despite losing 2 stone in weight, and feeling better about life, I was put back on the original dose. The weight has come back, and I once again feel like an empty shell.
Because of who and what I am, a relationship is out of the question. I'm a 13 stone, depressed, psychotic, 23 year old virgin.
You'd figure I could just stop caring. But it still hurts, even if I don't try anymore. Seeing my friends pair off one by one makes me feel like a razor blade is slicing into my heart.
I'd kill myself, but I'm all my mother has. And I can't inflict that much pain on the only woman who has ever loved me.
|Posted by Danny at April 24, 2012|
I'm 23 years old. My life has been one dramatic event after the other. I know that is a very bold statement, but sadly it's true. I was born into a bad marriage. My mother and father were on the verge of divorce when they had me. I was the "lets try and save our marriage/my dads way of trying to keep my mom faithful" pregnancy. Very dumb I know, but i wouldn't be here if they didn't. Obviously the marriage didn't last. Unfortunaly I lasted for 3 years after I was born. I can't recall if they divorced or if when my older brother, sister, and I were taken away from them by the state due to their drug habits. Either way that was the last my mom was in my life in a permanent basis. Luckily for my siblings and I we were place under my uncle and aunts (dads brother)custody. unfortunately for us they had 4 kids of their own. So adding three other kids was a issue. My siblings and I were always the black sheep. The burdens on them and this showed when it came down to how they treated us. One example. I always helped my aunt out with the laundry. Well one day she asked me to go up stairs to get the empty hangers. She informed me to be quiet though because my older cousin, her eldest, was sleeping. (keep in my this is around the end of our time with them. things got bad toward the end) Well I was at the top of the stairs when my aunt is at the bottom of the stairs. I can't remember what, but she asks me a question to which I reply with a quiet answer. She then gets angry and asked...
|Posted by anonymous at April 22, 2012|
I was beaten and sexually abused as a kid and it really fucked me up. Im over it for the most part although im 17 and it only stopped a few years ago. My mom left and has been occupied with her life. My dad is literally nuts. He just threatened to take all the dishes/pots/pans are going to be put in storage because sobody cleans, although i do the dishes and am the only one who has done the dishes unwillingly since HE cheated on his wife and fucked everything over. So... now i have no food. no dishes or appliances to make it. no job, no firends, no love. I have pretty severe back problems and wonderful case of insomnia leaving me with 3-4 hours of sleep a night, if i sleep that is, wich has also been ignored by my dad for years.
My dads bipolar and a severe alcoholic aswell.
Ive been suicidal before when i was young ( not uncalled for )
and really dont want other people to have to go through what i went when a few of my friends decided to hang themselves. Rip.
I dont wana kill myself i just dont want to be me. Idk what to do. Join the reserves in another year of hell cause nobody will sign off on it. Im home schooled now too online so I dont really have to worry about much.
I just want to live half way across the country, leave everything and everyone change my name and hopefully become wealthy and find someone cause theres nothing in life that really means anything to me. Dont really care about education, im not nor have I ever be...
|Posted by marigurl at April 19, 2012|
My aunt & uncle adopted me when I was born because the real Parent's couldn't afford another child.
I'm the baby in my family & I was spoilt. Caught my Mother cheating on my Dad with randoms & my friends Dad who was married numerous times at 6 years old & even though she knew I was hurt because of it she continued & told me to mind my own business. At age 7 she left my Dad for my Step Dad & even though he was a good man I hated his guts just because I was hurt. My brother died when I was 8 & my Dad died when I was 10.
I grew up hating my My Mum & step Dad because of the separation & I rebelled when I hit my teens. Drank, smoked, did weed every day, hooked up with anyone & the silly thing is this was my way to pay her back for the hurt I had been carrying since 6 years old. I got worse so she packed my bags & sent me to my birth fathers house. I had always gone there most holidays & some weekends & I couldn't stand it. His way or the belt & that was it. All his kids could shit on me & I couldn't touch them & they were around the same age. Couldn't go anywhere at all, only to School & netball on Saturdays. After 2 months I ran away for 2 weeks robbing houses & causing havoc. The police found me & I was given 2 choices at a meeting,
Go back to him or go to Child Welfare - I choosed Child welfare.
In the end my Mum found out & got me back & we moved from the Country to the City.
Fell in love at 15, Mum & Step Dad done everything to keep my boyfriend & I a...
|Posted by MEmelonelyMe at April 12, 2012|
*****People on here can be cruel.. If you are looking for grammar and punctuation please don't read as i couldn't care if i spelled things right ETC. I too was sexually abused when i was younger by a pastors son which was my elementary school janitor 1987" I was 7, when his mom found out they did nothing i just had to keep seeing this person for years. finally when i stop seeing him again i thought it was over I found a job and long and behold my first day there he was sitting at the table with his family and acted like we were cool and said hi Tiffany I literally drop the entire tray of drinks and ran out..
had been 8 years since i saw him and it still hurt my mom never got me counseling, then it happen again with my moms boyfriend 91" at 12 cousin and the wife asked me what i did to make him do that i was just shocked, i told my mom and she acted like i fabricated the whole thing even made me apologize to the wife that i made it up. Then after that things were a blur i guess i was up for grabs my moms boyfriend then was next 92" use to trap me against the wall and kiss me and feel on me and suck on things i was only 12 or 13. after a while i thought it was normal they all said i was pretty and had a nice body even at 7 "Not" my mom caught us kissing one day, and grabbed me and said i was a hoe and wanted her man and she would send me away if it happen again.
my mom and dad were divorced but when i told my dad the last dude my dad came to the house br...
|Posted by anonymous at April 4, 2012|
I was raped by my brother when I was little. I finally told my parents and they put a stop to it but also covered it up and made everyone in the house just go on acting like everything's normal. I had to grow up almost my whole life living with the guy who sexually abused me and it messed me up. My parents are nice to my face sometimes but I've always felt that they didn't really love me and saw me as damaged. To this day my brother still lives with them and still interacts with the family, nobody knows what went on and we still have to pretend like everything's okay. I would love to just move away and never have contact with them again but the rest of the family would think I was an asshole because since they don't know everything they wouldn't understand why I would have any reason to not want my parents and my brother to be a part of my life. I also don't want to have to explain to my significant other why we're suddenly not having any contact with my family anymore, since I've never told him and don't want to because I don't want him to look down on me or not want me anymore...even thought it went on when I was little I still have flashbacks and it makes me feel disgusting every day.
|Posted by lilbit at March 31, 2012|
I was around 4 when I was molested by my brother and then he brought his best friend along. Then my aunts boyfriend came along a few yrs later. When I was 11 my parents split and dad got a girlfriend who's father thought it was ok to mess with me(did i have a sign on my head that said "easy"). At 12 I started drinking ALOT and letting men use me so I felt loved.I was with men twice my age trying to fill a void but it's still there. I am now 37 and still can't stop drinking but someday I hope... After suicide attempts and my brother killing himself, I think that I may get over this.... someday
|Posted by anonymous at March 26, 2012|
Iím 19. Started life like most people do, in a hospital, from the moment I came home my parents were finding ways to get rid of me. They tried everything from starvation to drug overdose. I have been an alcoholic since the age of 6 months when my parents started putting wine in my bottles to make me sleep. At the age of 4 I was put into foster care where everything was supposed to get better. It didnít.
Everything from sexual abuse, physical abuse, drug related issues, you name it. Also my older sister was taken from the foster home that I was in because she was deemed ďdangerous to herself and othersĒ by a woman with Munchausenís. My younger brother and sister were also sexually abused by the foster father in the home we were in at the time.
In 2001 my younger brother, sister, and I were adopted. To this day we donít know where our older sister is.
I am a United States Marine stationed in San Diego, CA. I will be Deploying to Afghanistan this year to serve in the Global War on Terror. I am on duty 24/7 and can be called to work at any time, Day or night. As it stands right now, I get paid 24 cents an hour after taxes. If it werenít for medical benefits Marines would be the lowest paid workers in the USA.
|Posted by Justanothersadsadface at March 17, 2012|
Everyone's childhood sucks.... Mine in a nutshell was my parents fought a lot. My dad fucked with us, he did a lot of drugs, alcoholic, extremely verbally abusive towards my very sweet mother. My young adolescence I attempted suicide several times. Once I took 150 Tylenol and chugged it all down with McCormick vodka lol... Gross. I suffered from severe social anxiety. When I say severe I mean I could not return a movie to the store. So basically I was in and out of psych wards, loaded up on stupid drugs that did more damage then good. Saw counselors forever... No help there. Except one! I was sent to alternative school and actually made a couple friends. Started doing drugs, having sex. Ya know a teenager. I was addicted to meth for 2 years and even slept with a 50 year old man at 15 for crack. Wtf right??? Oh I forgot to mention I am beautiful. Like really really pretty. But it's just made me awkward as fuck because I have anxiety and people stare at me. Weird. Ive had a long time love since I was 15.... I moved in with his mom at that age. He treats me like shit. Lots of cheating, just abusivness. I have three daughters by him now. I love them to death but I've sways been so fucked and I'm fucked now. I make horrible decisions. He and I were married divorced, togethere, apart, together, apart.. And now together? I think. It's a fucked up ass love. My daddy fucked me up ok. Wow my story is pretty bad when I look at it like this. On the upside. I'm a hairdresser and working on getting the efffffffffff out if my rents house. Pray for my children. I'm a loser. A pretty loser. Pray for the children.
|Posted by anonymous at March 10, 2012|
My life started with violence and by the time I was 13 I was living on the streets. Stealing food to survive. Never finished school. At 19 I finally decided to work hard and life looked like it was going well.
At 23 my wife suffered a stroke and I had to give up my life to look after her. Had 2 kids and a wife to look after, no job, no friends no life. We were so poor we could barely survive. No family help and my parents are both millionairs, yet they never helped me once.
I was 28 when I finally was able to get a job and become part of this world. I studied hard and graduated University as a teacher. My luck I haven't been able to land a job as a teacher. At 43 I was electrocuted at work and have been in pain for the last few years and can't get any work due to my injuries. I'm back to getting welfare and handouts from charities. It is a vicious circle for me.
There is a running joke in our house that everytime something bad happens it is the family bad luck. How much bad luck can I have. Everything I do ends up going wrong. I always help people and end up being stabbed in the back. All I have ever done is good, yet it seems if you are a bad person to others things go well. Why do they have the luck and I don't. This is a glimpse of my bad luck. If I wrote down all of my bad luck it would take me years.
I don't know why I go on, my life sucks and i wish all this bad luck would go away and take me away from all this.