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    [Tell Your Story]  "The pit" (fresh stories)

    Fuck everything

    Posted by anonymous at April 29, 2012
    Tags: Addictions   2012 April   Attitude

    I have no parents. I'm addicted to all kinds of drugs and I'm a lowlife fucking alcoholic. My bitch of a girlfriend took everything from me because that whore has to be perfect, and now that I've left her I barely have a fucking life anymore. I witnessed my own fucking mom dying, and I don't even give a flying fuck anymore. I'm at the lowest of the low in my life. For fucks sake all my friends have been driven away because I'm a fucking idiot. I'm no better than my asshole of a dad was. What the hell did I expect? To become a fucking lawyer? Yeah, right. I could never, will never, and can't accomplish any fucking goal I set for myself. I'm writing this in the final rage flash I have before I jump off the fucking building and finally get rid of all my fucking problems. What pisses me off more is the fucking idiots who think they have it so shitty. Try growing up without a mom and an abusive dad. I've been doing drugs since I was fucking 12. Because I have no fucking friends, I decided to let the people on this site who probably don't give a shit either know, GOOD FUCKING BYE. Fuck you, fuck me, fuck everything, I'm dying tomorrow.


    Comments: 15   Votes:


     

    Atleast You Are Not Me

    Posted by anonymous at April 29, 2012
    Tags: Addictions   2012 April   Failure

    33 years old, addicted to drugs, no friends, always broke, and I live with my mother who is sick and an alcoholic. Was engaged, life started to get better, lived with her and she cheated on me several times. So I have nothing except and drug habit that I cannot get rid of. I have a horrible fecal impaction that I cannot get out. So it keeps me in constant pain. I went to the ER for it and they did nothing, treated me like a drug addict who was there for a fix, ha, imagine that. So when you complain about ohhh I am gay, nobody gets me... yeah right, there are tons of people like you. It could be way worse for you, you could be just like me........


    Comments: 41   Votes:


     

    Bad mom

    Posted by lost at April 15, 2012
    Tags: Addictions   2012 April   Attitude

    I feel so ashamed of what Iíve been doing but I donít know how to stop. I wish my life was bad but itís not really. Itís that my addiction to pot has made me feel worthless and complete loser. Itís within me to change but for whatever sad reason I havenít. I have a 7 month old baby. Sheís a really good baby and a joy to be around. Even she canít stop me from smoking all day, every day. I just want to be high. I often wish God would just kill me. Then she wouldnít have to grow up with a stoner mom. I lie to my husband too as he doesnít know that I smoke while heís at work or even when heís at home taking care of her. I hide it very well. The worst part is I breastfeed her in the morning so my bad excuse for thinking itís ok is that I havenít smoked for at least 10 hours and then once I do smoke I give her formula. Lots of people have told me itís ok to smoke if I have 4 hours in between. Isnít it sad that I believe them. Please someone help with advice of why I have let my life become like this. I canít keep going like this. I want to die.


    Comments: 16   Votes:


     

    shit is bad like a movie

    Posted by some junkie at April 4, 2012
    Tags: Addictions   2012 April   Relationship

    I have the shittiest life, been addicted to oxycodone for like 5 years, dad died last year dog died a few days later, my girlfirend whores herself to support our addiction, got a felony record no job so i gets my hustle on, carry a stolen gun constantly high on somthing to ease the pain of being alive....did i say my girl is a slut? she used to be hot....now shes fucking dudes just so we dont have to withdrawl...fucked my best friend.... we fight, had to slap that bitch a few times.....cant go out in public cuz its a small town with too many cops that know my name and that i have 2 arrest warrants out.....blah blah blah aint no hope for the hopeless in the land of the lost


    Comments: 10   Votes:


     

    My life is worse than yours, stfu.

    Posted by Squall at March 15, 2012
    Tags: Addictions   Attitude   2012 March

    Heres my life in a nutshell. Grew up in an upper middle class home with an insane father and a mother who never shut up. My life was pretty normal I guess until I got to middle school, one day my friend Brandon was in class looking at a porno magazine and I was winking at him mimicking jerking off until some fat red headed bitch who sat next to me said hey "this kid is jerking off!"
    From that point from 7th grade to 12th grade I was known as the kid who got caught jerking off in class. I used to watch these columbine kids kill their teachers and peers and get pissed that they were such pussys to do it and here my life is so much worse and I don't do shit. I got beat up and teased every day, do you know what its like to be introduced with "Hey, aren't you the kid who got caught jerking off in class?" With every person I met from age 11-19... So high school was hell I hid I cried I was fat I was ugly I wanted to melt, die, kill myself, something.
    Then I graduated high school chain smoked and drank diet soda, lost weight realized i was actually really good-looking except for my underbite, got a chin implant became cute didn't know how to deal with it been dating a great girl for 6 years that I treat like shit because I'm miserable.
    So heres where I am now
    I'm a genius and no one knows it
    The only thing I've ever been good at is Starcraft.
    I'm addicted to opiates, suboxone, and benzos and withdrawl every fucking day.
    I have OCD so I can never s...

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    Comments: 28   Votes:


     

    Drug Abuse

    Posted by anonymous at February 27, 2012
    Tags: Addictions   Alcohol   Drugs   2012 February

    I never used to be like this. I started it out as a happy 13 year old boy, drug free and happy, but now I'm drug abusing loser.

    It started in the 8th grade summer, when I was taking medication for my acne problems. Little did I know that a major side effect of the problem was depression. I became suicidal, and what made it worse was I could only talk to a girl that kept breaking my heart, not even waiting to kiss another boy as she told me she loved me. I was also hurt by the fact my mom had left the house for a while after a fight with my father. My friends had even moved on, ignoring me whenever I wanted advice for my depression. They thought I was being a bitch. I guess I was.

    During that summer I met some new friends on the high school football team. They were all talking about how they were all going through phases, and how they all felt good about high school. Being still depressed, I could only talk about problems and issues I had. It wasn't until the last mint of summer until someone on the team recommended I should try smoking pot.

    I didn't believe him, as I felt I was a clean and responsible individual, but I was soon convinced that maybe it would help relieve my stress. So one day in the hot summer day, I tried smoking with that kid. Boy did my life change. One puff made me realize what I was missing out on, and little did I realize how good life got.

    Freshman year started, and I felt my old friends didn't like me anymore, s...

    Read Entire Entry >>>

    Comments: 9   Votes:


     

    same shit different day

    Posted by anonymous at January 26, 2012
    Tags: Addictions   Family   2012 January

    So I have spent my whole life dealing with addicts. My mom is credited schizophrenic. My dad a raging alcoholic. My one and only sister a narcissist. I lost any childhood I could have had. So how is it I feel in love with an alcoholic Meath head. When I meet him he was just out of jail and clean.almost didn't believe him when he told me about his demons.well the thing about an addict, you were always an addict. So out of work for three Weeks what else is he to do but go back on the shit.seven years later I lost my adulthood to yet another addict.I find no pleasure in drugs or alcohol. Where am I supposed to find my happiness?


    Comments: 26   Votes:


     

    My life is in shambles Im at rock bottom.

    Posted by anonymous at January 23, 2012
    Tags: Addictions   2012 January

    I just recovered from heroin addiction, but i still want to smoke it luckily i have no way to get it. I was living in colorado for 7 months which led me to do all sorts of drugs that i haven't touched for 7 years. I quit my job so i could drink i pretty much made every bad decision possible. Then i started to do heroin. I am now back in florida living with my mom, begging her for money, i am pretty much a piece of shit son every since i got addicted to that shitty drug. I cant find any work which is what is pissing me off, i feel like i am trapped in my own mind.


    Comments: 33   Votes:


     

    I'm poor, never sleep, and addicted to pain killers

    Posted by anonymous at December 31, 2011
    Tags: Addictions   2011 December   Health   Unemployment

    Well my story is diffrent from alot. I lived in Florida got my degree and moved to Mississippi to start a TV carrer. I loved TV was so happy, making and saving money. A couple of years ago I got offered my TV dream job in Colorado, I quit my job in MS and flew to CO, when I got to my new employer I was only to pass a drug test to start work, I was clean then. When I arrived I found the young guy at the TV station who told me I had a job informed me he gave the job to a young hot girl with big boobs. I flew back to MS to try to get my old job back, but I was too late. Its been 3.5 years since then. I look for work all day and all night, but the little town in MS I'm in is dying. No new jobs just places closing its doors. The money I saved for retirement is almost gone. With no insurance I lost my ability to go to the doctor for my scoliosis so I had to get medication from other than legal ways. The meds I used to take where non addictive, but you can't find those on the street, so pain killers it was. Then I got so board my house became a prison to me, so I started taking them to pass the time. Now Im hopelessly addicted. I even went to school and became an EMT because the hospital here had 16 job openings, when I became and EMT they had none. I still look for work, but know spend about 18 hours a day in bed. Sometimes I think life just is not worth living. All I have is my cat he has been my savior. He is 13 and I know he won't be around much longer. I don't know what I will do when he is gone. Well thats my story not as bad as some but its my personal hell. I'm stuck in a dying town with no work and one friend who is also a hopeless addict.


    Comments: 6   Votes:


     

    Alone, broke and hopeless for the holidays

    Posted by Omega9 at December 18, 2011
    Tags: Addictions   2011 December

    I'm a gambler.
    Last night I lost everything.
    4 days ago I promised a beautiful girl it took me 3 months to talk to, on a date and Christmas shopping this coming Monday. She seemed excited.
    Now I can't even do that now I have no money.
    Today I stayed at home miserably feeling hopeless and afraid of the future now that I've been stripped to nothing.

    Back story
    I know there's no sympathy for gamblers but I've suffered severe depression 10 yrs ago when I was involved in a car accident that killed a girl. I was in college and gambling became the only way to feel happiness. Since then I've been gambling and now I've lost it all and i feel so alone again.
    What can I do to start my life again?


    Comments: 10   Votes:


     

    Addiction

    Posted by TheSister at November 20, 2011
    Tags: Addictions   2011 November

    My twin sister was addicted to heroin for 3 years. Her boyfriend helped her detox and quit. She was clean for 2 years, but still smoked weed and drank and had her xanex for anxiety. She saw a therapist for a while. I love her. I would do anything for her.

    I found out she relapsed last night. She invited me over to smoke a blunt. We had a good talk until she told me she was using again. I didn't know how to handle it. I tried not to make her mad. But then her other 2 friends got back and she disappeared for a while with one of them. I'm 99% sure she was snorting dope in the bedroom with that girl.

    I cut myself sometimes and I'm not entirely sure why, but I think it has something to do with emotional release and the guilt I carry around with me. I have this huge secret and I don't know what to do with it. I don't know who to tell, or if I should tell. I feel disconnected from the rest of the world. I can't function sober. I need to smoke weed to feel even remotely normal or distracted from all this shit.

    My sister and I are both seniors in college. She's going to be an engineer. I want to be a writer someday. She wants to start a family. She wanted 8 kids. All I can think about are the kids she wants to have and if they'll ever be able to live.


    Comments: 4   Votes:


     

    depressed

    Posted by WTF at November 16, 2011
    Tags: Addictions   Justice   Money   2011 November   Unemployment

    I'm 26, divorced, just lost my job and was denied unemployment benifits. I lost my truck to impound when I was caught driving with out a licence, I currently have 3 warrents for my arrest and have 1 case in another state I've been trying to fight for the last 8 months. Due to my increasingly expensive drug and alcohol addiction and no longer having a job, I can't afford to pay rent and have to find somewhere else to go by the end of the month. To top it all off the only calls I get each day are from creditors harassing me about the bad debts my ex-wife and I accumulated over the past 5 years..........I'm realizing I have failed miserably in life....


    Comments: 12   Votes:


     

    I'm horrible

    Posted by anonymous at August 29, 2011
    Tags: Addictions   Alcohol   2011 August   Drugs   Family

    I hate myself. My self esteem is medium but I simply just hate me. My parents are strict abusive Russian Orthodox but I live in Washington state. I'm moved to America when I was 10, I'm 14 and I'm an alcoholic and crackhead, and so are my parents. I have unlimited access to alcohol, money, and I always spend it on crack or meth, and my parents always have Everclear or vodka at the homes. I make my family cry and don't know why. I have only love 1 girl in the world, emotionally, and realized she was a manipulative and bad. She has a long history of sex/physical abuse, drug abuse and crime in her life and I loved her dearly but when she tell me her stories I realize that all people are scum including her and myself. Nobody cares about anyone in this world and all are secretly backstabbers and bad. I've lost 45 kilograms from the meth and my teachers see it and threaten me to tell rehab. I get in fights with people and I got stabbed last week. I will never have a wife or girl because I don't trust peoples. My principal says I'm so smart for any college but too lazy to do homework and my grades are bad and I will not graduate school. I don't know how life will be after this. I am horrible.


    Comments: 15   Votes:


     

    Emptyness

    Posted by Roman at August 10, 2011
    Tags: Addictions   Anxiety   2011 August   Health   Meaninglessness

    Hello

    I am a nobody. I feel like my life has come to an end. You can call me an idiot looking for attention, but I feel like writing this down. I need to tell someone how I feel.
    I'm currently studying (third year) and I'm almost to be a policy licentiate (don't know if it's called that way - a guy who analyses and specializes in politics). My further plans are to do a university degree of any available faculty cause in Poland to be a translator all you need is to get a university degree. Of course I'm planning on being an English translator, cause this is the only language I know other than my own. When I'll become a translator then... then what? And here is where everything collapses and kills me mentally.
    What am I going to do? My face sucks, my social life sucks - have two friends, no friends of the opposite sex, had gallstones which I had removed along with my gall bladder, that causes diarrhea almost everyday. My eyesight sucks, my spine is distorted, I have strange nipples (maybe because of lack of training) which are baggy-like even though I'm slim.
    The main problem is the face, but if you want the details, type in Google 'life sucks big constant pain'.
    Even though it's vacations I feel awful. Cause I don't feel like it's vacations. To me everyday day is the same. If it's something like Christmas or Saturday or Sunday or something national, I just simply don't feel the difference. Everyday is like a boring routine. I know it's because I'm...

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    Comments: 21   Votes:


     

    my lifes a joke

    Posted by pothead dave at August 4, 2011
    Tags: Addictions   Anxiety   2011 August   Drugs

    i am over thirty years old and am adicted to cocaine an weed. i got layed off from the first good job i ever had ( i cried on that day) and have started a job that my friend from work told me about. i had to use fake piss for a drug test because i cant stop doin drugs. my first day was the most horrifying experience in my life, i got stuck in picky bushes for 5 hours and had to wait for somebody to come find me . i thought i was goin to die.Why wud my friend do this to me? he said that it was the easiest job he ever had. This was worse than the time that clown molested me as a child. Since then, i go into massive panic attacks evry time i see a clown and get extremely nervous wen they are mentioned. Recently i was exited, because o thought o was going to be a father,but it turns out the child wasnt even mine.i stayed with her anyway, because i love her but i made her get an abortion. I suspect that she has cheated on me multible times, beacause the other night when we went to dinner with ma friend and his family, she kept mentioning having other men sleep over our house. if you have any advice it would be deeply appreciated, though i might forget when i get high


    Comments: 5   Votes:


     

    fuck this

    Posted by over it at July 30, 2011
    Tags: Addictions   Anxiety   Drugs   2011 July

    Well what can I say, I'm 19, I've abused drugs since I was 14 mainly weed, alcohol, mdma, meth and few others here and there. I recently quit and am trying to live sober but it's hard cause when i stopped i started suffering from anxiety and depression. I have few friends but the ones i do have don't give a fuck cause there still crack heads.
    I've completely fucked my body and mind, I don't want to be like this forever, but i don't think ill ever recover. The doctors want me on meds but I don't want to pile more cocktails of drugs in my body.
    Soldier on I guess..


    Comments: 30   Votes:


     

    Hard Life

    Posted by anonymous at July 20, 2011
    Tags: Addictions   Drugs   2011 July   Money

    when i was 18 i started shooting heroin. at 19 i slowed my addiction to painkillers, and met a girl 27 who i fell in love with and moved in together with. i worked sporadically and in 05 katrina destroyed our hometown and everything we ever knew. we lived out in the sticks 4 a while and eventually found our way back home, shortly thereafter breaking up. it ripped a hole in my heart & i started shooting dope again. then i wound up in jail a few years, got out and got back with her, because i love her. a few years went by with me on suboxone to mantain my addiction, all was well, & in 2010 we had a baby boy who is my everything, my love. 4 months later she went nuts, screamed & argued with me everyday till she moved out (with my kid) i started fucking up & a few days later went back to jail for another 6 months. got out in Dec.2010 with no money, no car, no job, no apartment, no baby, no babys momma, no hope, no help. i lived on the streets of new orleans for a few months, stealing to survive, shooting dope cause i stopped giving a fuck, and 3 months ago got back on a suboxone clinic, got a job, moved in with some friends n got my shit somewhat together. then guess what 2 months ago i get laid off. i spend my days trying to hustle change to afford my meds(habit), My son and his mom were the only family ive ever had, theyre gone now she moved 2 hours away, i have no way to get to her and the bitch refuses to answer the phone. ive applied at every fuckin place in the town i live in and there are no fuckin jobs. im so broke i dont even eat somedays. im 27 now, my son is one and a half, i havent even seen him in 7 months, and it hurts so bad im thinking about killing myself. i have no hope, if God's listening i guess he just doesnt care.


    Comments: 32   Votes:


     

    I Suck...

    Posted by anonymous at July 10, 2011
    Tags: Addictions   2011 July   Money

    My life sucks!. I was a gambling player. I lost thousand of bucks in it. Its like I was always being absorb by such institution whenever I have my money. Now all of my money is in it I only have so much debts that I cant hardly pay. Money left is none. Having a lot more debts to live everyday life. Everyday recovering is such a kaos and depressing. I cant hardly wake up in the morning wishing that everyday I am a sleep until I pay all my debts. Working hard to pay all the bills brought up by the casino. My life sucks giving everything in the casino. I am addicted to it and the false hopes that it gives.


    Comments: 2   Votes:


     

    How do I get out of this ditch...

    Posted by anonymous at July 2, 2011
    Tags: Addictions   Attitude   2011 July

    I am a 23 year old failure. Ever since the age of 16, I have been addicted to MMORPGS. I have shunned all my real life friends and dreams for some stupid video games. Now that I've finally realized that I've been throwing my life away, I don't know what to do. I'm a virgin. I've never even gone on a date. I've totally missed out on that period of life when everyone is starting things out, going out with girls for the first time...you know, the teen age years. I feel like everyone is out of my league now. I have zero life experience, and I don't even know where to start. I wish there was a way to mend my life, and make things right again. I want to be normal again. I want to feel normal. I want to socialize with people, I just don't know how. I feel like I have forgotten how to even talk to people in the real world.

    It seems like socializing with women, and making friends is easy for everyone around me. But for me it is a horror story. I just don't know how and its embarrassing. I don't know what to say, or how to say it.


    Comments: 74   Votes:


     

    why me

    Posted by kaitlyn at July 2, 2011
    Tags: Addictions   Death   Health   2011 July

    i had a good life, a great life..until I turned 21.

    My dad died and I watched every single second of it. He was healthy and out of complete nowhere he died on Christmas morning.
    My dad's death has completely ruined my life. People my age lose their grandparents and then they like to compare that to losing a parent. Um, nope. Losing a granparent can be emotionally upsetting but that's about it. Losing my dad impacted my life SO incredibly much. I now have to take care of my mom because she is severely depressed and since my dad did EVERYTHING, now everything is up to my mom and I.

    I have a wide variety of very serious health issues, all for NO REASON. I have at least one doctor appointment a week. I could barely walk after my dad died for about 2 years. I have kidney disease (for no reason) have been in the emergency room countless times. I have high blood pressure...most likely from the grief of losing my dad since I am not overweight. I am in constant pain 24 hours a day.

    I'm heavily addicted to narcotics and have been since my dad died, I am now 25 and take 85-100 mg of oxycodone a day plus hydromorphone. I have been on every single pain killer but a lot of them didn't help me. I'm about to lose my insurance, I can't imagine life without narcotics.


    ...I could go on and on and on. I lost my life when I lost my dad. I will never be married or have kids and that's all I want. Now all I am concerned about is getting through the day because of my horrible pain


    Comments: 70   Votes:


     

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