|Posted by Kat at June 19, 2012|
My parents died in March and my dog died the day after my mom. I don't have that many friends and now no family. My brother is an alcoholic and haven't spoken to him in 20 years, and sister is a real bitch as well as her kids. They didn't even speak to me at funeral. My sister is spending all the inheritance, since she was executive and brother didn't even show to either funeral and I think he killed my dad for the $$$$ Dad was fine until my brother visited him, he then had kidney failure and they found a pill under dad's bed that they didn't even prescribe that controls kidneys. Today is my birthday, first without mom and dad ---was all alone, tried to keep busy but at night was awful, just dread the holidays without anyone (friends, families to share) July 4th is only 15 more days, Everyone else I know have families or friends to share with---it is awful being alone especially for holidays.
|Posted by Walkingdead at June 19, 2012|
I am actually past the point of caring whether how my story "rates." Bottom line is it's the worst I've experienced up to this point. My story started out with a lot of promise. I was born into a suburban, middle-class family. My early years were rainbows and butterflies. All good things must come to an end I guess. The turning point would be when my two older brothers starting molesting me. It started at about 7 and continued on until I was about 11. I never felt like I could tell my mother because she experienced something similar and I was afraid of how hard she would take it. I just wanted to keep the peace. At age 10 my Dad was paralyzed in a car accident and the family dynamic changed dramatically. Things stayed the same as always between my dad and I. Most of our conversations are awkward and impersonal, and if they do get personal it leads to argument. My mother has taken care of my for roughly 20 years minus one week. She is trying to cope with debilitating depression. The kind where you don't leave the house, don't answer the phone, only want to sleep, etc. etc. I battled with depression with some remissions here and there. I hit 15 and things were looking up. I was in night school because I was ostracized in school in conjunction with being horribly insecure and socially awkward. Ended up dropping out because I was going to be failed due to the fact I didn't have a computer to complete my final essay for my class. Failure was easy at this point because it's all...
|Posted by soup at June 18, 2012|
so um...i hate fathers day 'cause my mom tries so hard to make my dad have a great day and stuff, but he just treats her like shit and yells at me just 'cause he doesn't have anyone else to blame. and so that pretty much sums that up. plus my parents fight like all the time and the other day i actually cried like a whole lot...and it was weird. plus i broke up with my boyfriend...kinda..but the fucky part is, is that right now he's in the hospital 'cause he had surgery and it went well...but now he's not waking up and the doctors don't know what to do so i'm really worried. and other shit...plus alotta my friends just decided to leave me. so that really sux 'cause i've been friends with them for 5 years and yeahh...plus there is a bunch of other shit and i might not even go to the same school next year because my parents are stupid. and i really don't know what to do, 'cause shit is just happening and the only thing really keeping me alive right now is a guy I'm kinda dating. I've attempted suicide too many times and it never works. I have a cutting addiction and and i'm losing faith in alotta people and my bestfriend hates me right now for no apparent reason, and IF people really must know, life sucks, period. School sucks, Mornings suck, Drugs suck, God sucks, Telivision sucks, Music sucks, sports suck, siblings suck, parents suck. Fridays SUCK. In conclusion you can make you life worth while with all of its suckiness, or you can sit at home all day in deep depression and think about dying. plus today was just kinda really weird and...i think i'm going crazy..like literally crazy...plus alotta my friends r worrying me because like they're going through shit too but i cant do anything about it so i feel usless. plus people are being jerks to me and i'm sick of it. and my girlfriend who i loved died like 2 years ago but i'm still really upset about it and I have been kicked around by so many people in life idk who to trust and all this other stuff...so yeah.
|Posted by anonymous at June 15, 2012|
my story goes like this....At 15 my mom put me out to fend for myself. it was hard but i made it. had 2 kids 11 monthes apart by an abusive man who i left n hasnt done anything for my kids who are now 18 and 19. 14 years ago i met a man who truly loved and took care of me and my kids. now we have a 6 and 9 year old also. problem is we have no love for each other and stay together for the kids. my 18 year old son has a baby on the way n goes through legal problems all the time. my 19 year old daughter is having a baby by a bum. yes 2 grand kids on the way. i do everthing for my teens cuz i dnt want them where i was that young, but they are so ungratful and disrespectful. my other half of 14 years is like a miserable roomate. my job and boss suck! i pray for every person on here with a sad story. mine is nowhere near as bad as what ive read, but i am emotionally drained and dont see no way out.
|Posted by bobetta at June 14, 2012|
i dont even know where to start. it seems like my entire life has been a mess. my parents divorced when i was young. no big deal, i couldnt stand my mom any ways. she was always so mean, yelled at me, called me names, told me she would have rather had a boy than me. she even tried ditching me on the side of the road, told me some one would take me, but they probably wouldnt want me either because i was so naughty. i was never naughty, i was reared great. my mo just took her anger out on me when her and dad got into a fight. it was rough for a couple years. basiclly live at the babysitters house because my dad worked afternoons at the police dept. then one day my dad meets a new woman. she was great...at first. as soon as she proposed her true colors began to show. she lied, told my dad i was horrible, claimed i stole from her, spit at her and the like. it got so bad i wasnt allowed out of my room except for school. i couldnt even go to the bathroom. i lived under my fathers roof but didnt talk to him. seriously, i wasnt even allowed to talk to him. i would have moved to my moms but my dads wife turned me against her and that side of my family. i believed everything that woman told me. though, when i was 15 i did try to get cps involved, but it some how turned out i was the one with the problem!!! so, she made me live with her family...a bunch of crazy F*s in TN. they treated me worse than their daughter. i was molested, starvedd, called name, told no one wants me, ill nev...
|Posted by anonymous at June 11, 2012|
I'm not trying to sound sorry for myself, just trying to vent. They say venting is good, so here I go. I use to have a great life. No fighting, no worries, everything was amazing. That is, until my father died. He had head & neck cancer that spread to his lungs. He basically drowned from all the fluid that built up in his lung. I was devastated. His death was tragic and unexpected. He was my best friend and he just left. Left my mom to raise 6 children by herself with money problems. Left me. My mom and I don't have a good relationship either. We are constantly fighting to the point where she beats me sometimes. I never called the police because I don't want her to leave. I honestly think she lost her love for me. She tells me she hates me and wishes I just leave and that I'm her worst child she has. It feels really bad. Sometimes I think if I just died then maybe she realized how much she missed me and love me again.. I keep on thinking suicidal thoughts. I just want to feel loved again like my daddy loved me. I miss him SO much and pray every night things will change. You may not think my story is very bad compared to other stories, but I don't want a comparison cause that's someone elses life. I just feel so depressed and I don't know what to do.
|Posted by StarryMary at June 10, 2012|
My life is an emotional train wreck for me. Im born into a religion that I think I feel I shouldnt belive in anymore, but if I do, half of my life would be ripped away from me. My friends, my family, my enviroment, everything.
I never have been to a nonmuslims home in my entire FUCKING life. Im tired of all the God Damn- even if there is one- shit that I need to follow, and all of these religios blind idiots Im surrounded by sometimes. I want to tell my mom about this, but if I do, she will tell my dad who will laugh.
He would sit down on his GINORMOUS ASS AND LAUGH
he expects that I will go to a FUCKING IVY LEAGE SCHOOL AND MAKE TONS OF MONEY
AND BECOME A DOCTOR OR SOME OTHER KIND OF BULLSHIT JOB THAT I DONT WANT TO DO WHEN I WANT TO BE A TV SHOW WRITER
he is always racist, esscpecially to African Americans and Mexicans( Im deeply sorry if I was offensive to you)
Sometimes he can be a very kind and gentle man. But other times, when he is angry, he is the meanest, cold hearted bastard you will know
He is the reason I am embarrassed to be Pakistani sometimes.
And if anyone I know discovers that I wrote this story, escpically dad, I will take those prized decortave swords decorated around the house and kill myself Laugh on that you Fat Racist
Or hang myself with one of my moms scarfs, the things I love the most
But I cant kill myself, my family would miss me, and my parents would be known as the two idiots who failed to lo...
|Posted by anonymous at June 9, 2012|
I had a sad childhood living like a foster child, house to house,no love, plenty of abuse, sexual, etc. Became promiscuous and rebellious; drugs, drinking, just plain crazy.
At 15 I was going to kill myself, but went to a youth revival and prayed and gave my mess to Jesus. Wow- He really changed me. Then I wanted to help everyone else in pain. Got degree in Counseling and Biblical studies. Thought I might be a missionary. Just wanted to help everyone. Fastforward; married a preacher- then allllll hell broke loose on us. Everyone stabbed us in the back, threatened us, tried to take our churches. Really really hated us. And so many of our loved ones have died. Our hearts have been burned big time. Now my 2 kids left home as teens and denied everything they were taught, my husband is cold and dead to me. He told another lady he loved things about her and kissed her on the hand, like he did our first date- that melted my heart because it was so innocent.
I have looks and talent but it only brings hatred and envy. I have enormous empathy and compassion- yet no one values anything about me. Now I'm thinking of leaving my husband but now he's all lovie dovie and begging for forgiveness. I've been suicidal most of my adult life- and largely due to him. Just want to share since I have no one to talk to. Wish I knew what to do. So sick of pain.
|Posted by Jay. at June 9, 2012|
Where should i start. I've grown up in a very broken up family that includes (Abusers, Molesters, Alcoholics, Drug Addicts.) My Father was the abuser & alcoholic in the family he started beating my Mother when she became pregnant with me tried killing her by choking her until she almost died. After I was born I became his second punching bag not even a month old he would blow pepper in face because he thought it was funny spin me around in a desk chair till I would throw up. When I was a around three months old I had colic and one night it was so bad I was crying in my crib he was upset that I was disturbing his sleep he slapped me in the face so hard my Mother couldn't leave the house for days because fear of DCF. My Parents eventually got divorced when I was almost two but my Mother cared more about getting herself away from my Father than she cared about getting me away from him she signed custody over to him and moved across the country and moved on with her life while I was being beaten for everything I did and didn't do. About five years go by and my older cousin started molesting me every morning (at the time he stayed with us) and I didn't know exactly what was going on I never told any body because he would threaten me and I've kept it to myself for many years. My Father still abused me as I got older but it wasn't just the usual "ur my punching bag" he started using objects such at throwing a tv at my head breaking things that belonged to me locking me up in my...
|Posted by anonymous at June 8, 2012|
I am a muslim girl in love with a hindu boy. We both love each other so much and want to spend life together. But my mother is totally against it . My father passed away at a very young age and my mother brought me and my sister all alone. My sister recently got married. And my mother now wants me also to get married to a muslim guy whom she chooses. But I know i can never love any other man in this world except my boyfriend . My boyfriend's family is also against our relationship. I don know what to do. One side my love and another side my mom who has spent all her life only for the sake of her children. No one wants us to get married because of religion differences. I don know what to do Im going mad I keep thinking about this day and night and going mad. I feel like dying I have no hope in life.
|Posted by anonymous at June 6, 2012|
I am writing this to vent. I do not care if you think my life sucks or not because I'll tell you now that it doesn't. Not really. There are far scarier evils to be endured through life by far braver people than I.
I am NOT brave and that is why my story sucks for me.
I hardly remember my mother. The story I know is she was near angelic. My father left her when I was a toddler for another woman and never returned. She'd had a son before me who was kidnapped by his father. She later died in a car crash when I was 7. She was in a car with her sister and niece and two other ladies. They all died.
I remember the events around her death as if it were a movie. Then there's a big gap in my memory. The next thing I remember is living with my aunt in Long Island. The required airplane ride from Puerto Rico is gone from my mind as is the process of learning English. Gone.
While living with my aunt I never did quite adjust. I wet the bed and occasionally my pants. I remember all the shame and disappointment in my aunt's voice. Still, that was just the beginning. My aunt and I clashed at every turn. I'd misbehave and she'd yell, in turn, I'd misbehave some more. A vicious cycle that ended in me running away many times. Soon my aunt became pregnant with her first child and it was deemed that my incorrigible ways needed to hightail it back to P.R. to live with my grandmother right before my 10th birthday.
I loved my grandmother. Yet, she s...
|Posted by Struggling mom at June 5, 2012|
I hate my fucking life. I work really hard trying to run my own business taking care of other fucking peoples snotty nose ass children cause there parents are sorry and can't there fucking kids healthy. I never have any money cause fucking gas prices are so fucking high i can only afford to pick up these ugly ass kids i hate seeing everyday but i have to cause it pays the stupid bills that keep piling up. Everytime I think i am about to get ahead something allways happens to set me back. I know i am good person so why doesn't good things ever happen for me. My fucking boyfriend can't get a job so he just gave up looking. He expects me to take care of him and his mom and our kids and all he does is complain.
|Posted by anonymous at June 4, 2012|
I'm completely ruined from the inside out. My mother is a shell of a woman with an angry black hole for a heart. She's never shown compassion or understanding. It's always been reprimand and reprimand and hours and hours of her yelling at me for pointless shit. She claims that I'm the one whose the bitch because I don't want to spend a second with her, but she doesn't realize that she's the reason why I don't want to spend another second with her because she has destroyed my life. I was a horseback rider since I was two years old. I used to eat, sleep, and breathing horseback riding. I'd spend 3-4 hours a day everyday of the week at the barn. I had the most amazing group of friends that I did everything with. Then she ripped me away from my best friends and sold my lovely and adoring horse that I had for three years (we were best buds, he would follow me around like a little puppy dog and come when I called) and spent all the money she made from selling him to buy dress after dress and other expensive clothing and nonessentials. My horse and riding was everything to me. She practically ripped away my identity and everything I loved. I never see my friends from the barn anymore and my friends at school are heartless people who judge people on the outfits I wear and they don't treat me like a friend. They use me and ignore me and treat me like shit when I'm always asking how their day is and being nice. I'm a tough person so I've tried for the past year to brush things off...
|Posted by ME at June 3, 2012|
My husband and I married 11 years ago we have 7 beautiful children . We have been through a lot together we lost our baby girl to SIDS a few years ago. My heart was broken , I miss her everyday. Life takes over and gets busy. And i just found out that he has had 2affairs he wants to stay together but I am so hurt and I don't know how to get over this. I'm just not sure what I want anymore . :(
|Posted by anonymous at June 1, 2012|
I was born in 1992 my gramps died and parents split up when I was 2 my dads a crazy Italian drunk and my moms all sorts of fucked up I used to live in a mansion but now in this shitty dusty appartment I've fucked everything up with drugs dropped outta school went to rehab beeen in jail done all sorts of stupid shit. I work at mcdonalds and have add so bad that I can't focus for more then ten seconds on one thing I've gone crazy thinking everyone around me is trying to kill me. I can't stop thinking about how much bad shit I've done I say I'm joinin the army and goin to collage but who knows I've walked under a million ladders so I don't think anything will work out for me I constantly thing I'm retated and can't get laid to save my life and think about death a lot maybe its a better place. Or I could go back to drugs I'm really fucked up And did shrooms and all sorts of drugs allll the time more then anyone you know most likely. And I'm not tryin to brag but at the time I was. I know I am responsible for my actions but I can't change them either. I need somthing to fight for to live for cause I've never givin 2 shits for myself. Sometimes I think of my life as one big suicide attempt. But I am to afraid to follow through. I didn't always feel like this but I do now. My dads 65 and I'm stuck taking care of him after he's fucked his life up too my family doesn't even talk to eachother anymore it's depressing sometimes things get better but they get worse after but idk things seem a little better now so we will see.
|Posted by lalala at June 1, 2012|
My story started since I was 5 yearls old, my father left me when I was 8 months old, my mother was 15 at that time, I cannot remember every detail but i do remember that she take me with her when she got out to hang out with her friends and while I was crying she was getting drunk, sometimes I think well maybe thats just a dream i had and never got the chance to ask her because she will just scream at me and start saying that I don't love her and blah, blah and well I do love her but is not the same I don't really really love her, she wasn't with me when I grew up because my grandma took control over me and my brother when we were kids and she wasn't allowed to see us, that's what the court said I dont really know the reasons why,it is hard to ask my grandma or my mom because they will end up saying a different story and i wouldn't know how to react if my mom told me what happened, when I tell my mom how I felt when I was growing up alone which was kind of sad that i went through so much when I was a little girl, My parents got divorced i didn't even knew they were separated because they were here in the U.S and I was in my native country and i dont remember when I realized and i dont even want to remember it, its just sad that I'm here with them but its even more worst I had a fight with my mom for some stupid reason and we haven't talked with her 3 months, i live with my dad btw my mom lives with her husband and actually I just talked with my mom by text but she dont understand me and is imposible to talk to her thats why I think I will leave it like that and be happy even if im dying inside me :)
|Posted by anonymous at May 31, 2012|
I can't stand my life...
My family is a complete disaster. My parents and older brother always fight, my twin brother is the biggest douche in the world to me, and my little brother and sister can't go one day without whining, bitching, making a mess, or just completely drive everyone in my family insane. They also feel the need to have to CONSTANTLY ask random unnecessary questions to my parents, at the worst times. I remember my dad was on the phone, late at night, with his boss, trying to see if he could get promoted, and earn some more money, because my family can barely pay bills. The whole situation was life or death. And of course, my little sister walks up to him, at midnight, to get some water. She keeps begging, and whining to him, because he's trying his best to ignore her. My dad got furious, and yelled at her. The first thing we hear in the morning is he didn't get promoted. I can't say I was too shocked. I know that in a few months, we won't be with running water, or electricity. It blows my mind that my parents even decided to have this many children...
In addition, I'm also forced to go to a private catholic school, and I'm an atheist... I HAVE to take a class on religion. (one that I don't believe in, because at this point, I lost all hope in any source of a higher power.) I don't even see the point of why we HAVE to. How does studying the life of Jesus and God, have anything to do with me, wanting to be an engineer when I grow up? (Ass...
|Posted by anonymous at May 31, 2012|
I dunno why I'm writing this....but i think i must be too much depressed today..
I'm 28 suffered from depression for almost 10yrs,now working.living with my mom..my father is an alcohol addict,he always abuses me always tries to hurt me,always makes me cry and he stays awake whole night and he keeps on shouting and cursing us,abuses my mom...since childhood I have nt seen my dad as a normal human being... I was always alone and still I am..
Hez now in rehab and tomorrow they are giving him discharge hez gonna come back Im afraid what me and mom will have to face again..
my relationship failed,I hv no friends..but still trying to survive and want to overcome all the obstacles of my life,Now I really dont want anything from the god,my hobbies,my likes dislikes I dnt remember anything,just doing my job to earn money.........thts the only thing I can do!!!
|Posted by anonymous at May 29, 2012|
I live each day through a haze. I don't think i am depressed i am just fed up with life. I tried anti-depressants, therapy -the lot.Tablets make me like a zombie -no feelings,no emotions. I tried therapy- its just made me sad and angry.How can i not be sad if my mother has no feelings towards me. There was never any warmth or kindness.The only tears i see from her are at the airport when i am leaving but to me they are the tears of relief. When i was a kid my father used to drink a lot and he would shout at my mother, call her names.I used to stick up for her, sometimes it would get quite physical me and my dad hitting each other. But after the fight my parents would reconcile and they would say that i have got such a difficult character!? I was young then and i believed them. Its only then i went to therapy i could actually see that my mother used me like a shield and my feelings were never her concern.I am 36 now, I got married at 24 to a man i did not love or liked.I just wanted to get away from a family home. I thought i can build my own life but i am struggling. I got hurt so many times i don't feel anything any more. I got rid of all so-called friends who used me to make themselves feel better. I limited the contact with my parents,I still talk to them but i keep it brief. I cannot take from them another story of someone's daughter doing this and that and earning so much. I tried to talk to them, especially my mother so many times and tell her how i feel. She listens but says nothing. What more can i do? If my own mother don't care who will?
|Posted by forgotten at May 29, 2012|
i was born in reading on the 19/02/1993 when i was 3 my father left home and left my mother with £3000 of debt. in turn my mother tured into acouiholic and develept mentle health problems due to the drinking problems all i ever remember from my childhood. by five i was live with my grandparents happyest days of my life my mother had been sectioned in the DOP clinic, (witch helps people with drinking problems) when she left she seemed to be happy for a little while anyway. my mother later decided to move to southampton and i followed we moved to a cuncil astate and over time life just detireted i remember one night sat indoors with my mother she had takin pills and was fitting in the sofa i at 7 ran next door to get help the nighbers rang an amberlance and the police my mother was takin to hospital me i was put in cear.
on another night my mother had been drinking heaverly this coursed a mentel break down the police were called she left the house screeming there were bugs in her hair i again was put into care. my mother again left and i again was left in her care. all i remember after that were teenagers coming around and smashing the windows every night screeming abouse larghing they had heard about my mother and her break down.
i had to do somthing i had to get us out of there at 8 years old i decided to set fire to the house i get my mother out police amberlinces and fire egines were called. luckly they didnt find out the corse of the fire.