I'm fucking tired of working. I haven't worked a lot. It's been 10 months since I've graduated and have been working 9 months of it and I'm fucking tired of it. What can I tell you, I am lazy. I don't want to do anything. I don't want to file a paper, I don't want to analyze shit. I don't want to report to my boss. In short I don't want to do anything. I just want to lock myself in my room away from everyone and get out once every 3 months or so. I don't want anyone to disturb me or anyone to want anything from me. Is that too much to ask? I don't know why people work and I don't yet understand why people "should" work. Who said we should work the first 8-10 hours of the day, come home beat up, eat something and go to bed to repeat the same bullshit all over again. If this is what life is, I don't want to be a part of it. The root of all this evil is that people need money in this fucked up society to live. I don't mind that there is money in the world, just the fact that we have to trade our lives for money, and for what? So that when we're 65 years old, when we're old, semi-dead, mentally disturbed from being exposed to all the bullshit of the world, up to our necks with medications so the we can simply function, "then" we will be able to retire. What an epic life.
This is what I am looking forward to for the rest of my life and I am sick of it. I am sabotaging myself so that I get fired so I can maybe start my own business. Anything is better than working like a slave. I may make a lot less money but who the fuck cares. All I need is electricity, internet, and some food in my belly, what else do I need!? Maybe my business would fail because I am lazy as hell, but if it doesn't, at least I will be happy. I applied for the army as well. If it works out I will have double my salary, work till 2pm every day and I can retire at 45 and they best part is that I can't get fired, time to slack like a pro. What can I say, I am trying. I am now at work trying to get fired with all thoughts of hatred passing through my mind. If all else fails, i start a business and it fails and the army doesn't work out, at least I can commit suicide and get out of this fucked up world. And all those that are going to comment, no don't take your life away, it is the most precious thing you have can go fuck themselves. These are the people who most want to kill themselves but don't have the balls to do it.
Thanks for anyone who read this, life is a bitch, the system is designed for people to fail and be miserable. My sincerest wishes to all people who are really stuck, have no money, are clinically depressed, and have no way of getting out. These good people are screwed for life and have absolutely no way of changing it. And while i'm at it, all those people that say you can achieve anything in your life, you just want to want it badly enough, or that you are in control of your thoughts and you can manipulate your brain to feel empowered at any second, please kill yourselves, less of your kind would be great for the world. People can't simply change their thoughts at will and most people don't have the ability of wanting something badly enough. Most of us in the real world are not insanely passionate about anything, so please keep your comments to yourself. The world is getting more fucked up every day. One more thing, God does not exist, and if he does, he is not the benevolent all seeing all loving God that is preached to us as kids. Probably has strong sight problems (myopia), has attention deficit disorder, and most definitely is an uncaring bastard. Maybe there is no internet in heaven and he hasn't yet seen this site.
In all cases, thank you for anyone who read this and my best wishes goes to all who are suffering both from true misfortunes and imagined ones. Just because it doesn't look that bad it doesn't mean that the person is not suffering.
Best Regards,
Confused | |
tell it like it is.
This world is heading down the toilet.
The generation or two before us has fucked
it up for anyone coming after them.
Maybe it was inevitable.
Its always a pleasure to come across someone with the same outlook as my own. These other people, society's pawns as it seems, are enough to make me want to wipe out half of this planet as well. Id join the army myself if i didnt have such a problem with authority, I probably wouldnt pass the psych test mind you, (if there is one). If you do get a business up and going, i wish you well with your endeavour. You have to wonder with some of these other jobs with corporations at the moment, has slavery really been abolished?
Word.
Enjoy your futile existence.
I never said I am better than anyone. I am trying to find a way to get out of the rat race. At least partially. I don't care if you are offended by my endeavors, that's your problem.
The purpose of life is to lessen pain and increase pleasure. This is what I am trying to do. If I can achieve it great, if not I'll buy a 57 Chev. That has done it for you maybe it will do it for me as well.
Cheers.
On another note, can you be more of an idiot? You say I will have no support and will only have enemies. Let me try and counter your argument. I have had support from my family for 22 years and I have been slacking at work for 9 months and still my boss supports me. She gives me new assignment every chance she gets and always pushes me because I am intelligent and she knows I can perform difficult tasks. I simply dislike doing mundane and boring stuff and that is the stuff that I procrastinate. I automated the entire statement of account so that now the quarter can be done in two days when before it used to take 2 weeks. Dude, I'm just lazy. I don't like doing stuff that takes forever and does not yield significant results. So your claim that I will get no support is not valid because I have 22 years of experience that proves otherwise.
You say I have selfish motives and want people to take care of me. Selfish motives? Dude, every one has selfish motives. The pursuit of happiness is the ultimate selfish motive. Altruism is a selfish motive. So that point lacks gravity. As for wanting to be "fed with a silver spoon" as you so eloquently put it, it is partially true. If I join the army, I still have to work, at least till 2pm. If I start my business, I will have to work 16 hours. So where do you see me getting fed with a silver spoon? I am trying to make my life easier. Why is that so wrong?
And finally, a killer? truly? how many people in your life have you seen that have become killers because they are lazy. Dude killing takes effort and has very few pay-offs. What is my gain from killing? Emotional satisfaction? Trust me, I'm not that needy of a person. I am satisfied with the simple pleasures of life. I don't need to kill a person to to release tension. So what is left? Have I adequately put your fears to rest?
Secondly, im fairly sure he never said pawns of society, that might have been me that said 'society's pawns,' so thank you for proving yourself to be one of them. The fact that you would even attempt to put forward a diagnosis, all be it completely misinformed just goes to show you are a sideshow clown. Now im curious though, in what field exactly are you a professional? Did we not understand you correctly, you should have said in my professional flower arranging opinion, we may have taken it more to heart.
Since I'm a cynical bastard like you, you may value some of my advice. I'd say the most important thing to do is find ways to mitigate the problem (aka "stop the bleeding"). Don't have kids, and don't get married. Both of those things will cost you dearly in terms of resources (emotional, financial, time), and lock you into the system. Knock some bitch up, and you'll never get out. In fact, stay away from women in general. As Arthur Schopenhauer puts it, "Marrying means to halve one's rights and double one's duties". Or, in the words of the Notorious B.I.G., "Fuck bitches, get money". Go look up Tom Leykis in this regard. Stay out of debt, don't abuse any substances, and don't land your ass in jail.
Gauging from your last paragraph, you're about as sensitive to bullshit as I am. There is a dark side to existing in this realm, something that people tend to overlook because it frightens them. I'd recommend reading "Studies in Pessimism" by Arthur Schopenhauer -- you're not the first person to recognize that life sucks. Gnosticism may also be worth checking out, as they postulate what to me seems the obvious -- that perhaps this world was "designed" in a flawed way. "The Gnostic Religion" by Hans Jonas is a good book in that regard, or some of the works of Carl Jung.
And lastly, consider whether you have a gluten intolerance. I get more suicidal when I have gluten. Not that going gluten free is a panacea; I'm still a cranky bastard when I'm off it. Some of us are just dealt a shittier hand than others (mental imbalance is genetic in my case; between the suicides, depressions, bipolar disorders, alcoholism, mental breakdowns, religious fanaticism, adultery, and sexual abuse, trust me when I say that I don't have the greatest breeding). But don't let anyone tell you that you can't be pissed off. I'm filled with more rage than most, and try to sublimate it into my music and writings. Channel that rage into noncompliance and thinking, because complying with others is generally a bad idea. As George Carlin said, "Think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of 'em are stupider than that."
Things may not get better, but they can get worse. Think about how it can get worse, and then don't let that happen.
my girlfriend is about to leave me, lazy, chronically tired, chronically depressed, life is good jesus loves you)))
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