I don't like working. I do the minimum I can just to pass by. It's been 10 months I'm working and I know I will never get anywhere career-wise if I continue like this. To be honest I actually want to get fired. I am lazy, I procrastinate everything possible to the last second and then I hand in mediocre work. I am applying to jobs left and right and I have had interviews with 2 companies till now (P.S. sick leaves are a pain to prove if you are not sick) and was called back for a second interview by one of them. I think I will get an offer from at least one of them. The thing is it is easy to hold your frame for 20-30 minutes because all employers want to feel secure that you are a hard worker, dependable, straightforward and that you will make their lives easier and excel at what you will be working. I conveyed all these in the interviews but holding your frame full time 8 hours a day 5 days a week for months is tiring and I don't think that anything will change even if I get a new job. I never feel like working. I think I will change jobs every year till I die and will never be satisfied from my job. It's not that I'm mentally deficient or anything. I graduated with honors in Finance and I have a 130 IQ but I procrastinate like hell. It's not that I don't care about my job... it's just want to work when I feel like working, not all the time.
I am at work now and I hope my boss barges in and I get fired for slacking off. I really don't want to work. It's not funny. I want to go to my room, shut the door and stay there indefinitely. I don't want anyone to ask anything from me. I don't want anyone to bother me. I want to live my life alone. I just need food, a room for myself, a computer and an internet connection. Isn't that possible to sustain? I live with my parents so I don't have to pay rent. My food expenses don't exceed $150 a month. Internet costs $50. Electricity another $50. So basically I need $250-$300 a month to sustain myself. Can I make that much off the internet? My thoughts are unraveling as I write. This isn't where I was expecting to go when I started writing this but i think it turned out OK. Any thoughts on what I can do to get out of the rat race? I'm tired. I know this isn't the apocalyptic post you guys all like reading but I would appreciate any advice you guys can offer. | |
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