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When will it stop?

Posted by anonymous at June 11, 2012
Tags: Family  2012 June

I'm not trying to sound sorry for myself, just trying to vent. They say venting is good, so here I go. I use to have a great life. No fighting, no worries, everything was amazing. That is, until my father died. He had head & neck cancer that spread to his lungs. He basically drowned from all the fluid that built up in his lung. I was devastated. His death was tragic and unexpected. He was my best friend and he just left. Left my mom to raise 6 children by herself with money problems. Left me. My mom and I don't have a good relationship either. We are constantly fighting to the point where she beats me sometimes. I never called the police because I don't want her to leave. I honestly think she lost her love for me. She tells me she hates me and wishes I just leave and that I'm her worst child she has. It feels really bad. Sometimes I think if I just died then maybe she realized how much she missed me and love me again.. I keep on thinking suicidal thoughts. I just want to feel loved again like my daddy loved me. I miss him SO much and pray every night things will change. You may not think my story is very bad compared to other stories, but I don't want a comparison cause that's someone elses life. I just feel so depressed and I don't know what to do.


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Similar Entries:
Death March 18, 2011
anxiety consumes me January 23, 2012
Life sucks  February 5, 2012
life is shit August 29, 2010
Life February 27, 2010



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Comments:
By anonymous at 21,Jun,12 15:22

That sounds shit :( But I think I can sense some healthy fight in you.. I don't want to give advice but don't give in.


By anonymous at 22,Jun,12 22:23

It'll stop when the fat lady sings :-)


By anonymous 3 at 29,Jun,12 12:30

i understand how u feel, my dad died when i was young, left my mom and six kids, my mom wasnt abusive or anything but money was always a problem, no food, no new clothes, that was 19 years ago, now im 28, still have problems, unemployed, no money, no food, still, could be worse.


By anonymous at 10,Feb,13 21:08

i had my mom pass away and i endded up shoting my self and paralizing me i miss my mom so much your story made me cry


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