I'm in the hated 1%. I am a white woman, married just about 20 years to my teenage sweetheart. We live in a gorgeous house in a very snobby neighborhood - tennis, golf, the works. I have 2 kids. One has a depressive disorder and the other is a wonderful and gifted child.
I have not worked in 17 years.
Why? I don't have to. I don't want to. I can't imagine doing it. Part of me would just DIE if I had to take a minimum wage job when everyone I know is a highly educated professional. They're nice people and wouldn't dream of mocking me but it would be an open admission that I'm not as good as they are. I got a basic degree in a state school. Not a BA, not a Master's. I am a fucking housewife with a husband that works from home. I don't do hardly any housework at all. He does most of it because I can't handle the stress. I am unnecessary in my own life. The only thing that makes me feel any better is my painkiller addiction, which he also knows about. A few years ago, I sustained a terrible injury from an accident that led me down this path. My pills are the only thing in my life that make me feel better. Even this thing I can't keep to myself. Nothing is just MINE.
What do I have? Everything that everyone else wants. But I don't want it! You can well imagine how hard it is to find sympathy when your only complaint is that you have too much. But I'm so unhappy and I'm terribly, awfully, horribly BORED. I'm thinking of just packing and leaving. If I runaway like a child then maybe I can start over as if I was one. Can't I? Can't I go to college again and be what I want to be when I grow up? Can't I have adventures? Find those old wild oats and sow them finally? I'm so ashamed of the nothing that I became. I've wasted my life. All of it. It's unbearable. It's unbearable.