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I have it all and HATE IT

Posted by Kestrel at June 12, 2012
Tags: Attitude  2012 June

I'm in the hated 1%. I am a white woman, married just about 20 years to my teenage sweetheart. We live in a gorgeous house in a very snobby neighborhood - tennis, golf, the works. I have 2 kids. One has a depressive disorder and the other is a wonderful and gifted child.
I have not worked in 17 years.
Why? I don't have to. I don't want to. I can't imagine doing it. Part of me would just DIE if I had to take a minimum wage job when everyone I know is a highly educated professional. They're nice people and wouldn't dream of mocking me but it would be an open admission that I'm not as good as they are. I got a basic degree in a state school. Not a BA, not a Master's. I am a fucking housewife with a husband that works from home. I don't do hardly any housework at all. He does most of it because I can't handle the stress. I am unnecessary in my own life. The only thing that makes me feel any better is my painkiller addiction, which he also knows about. A few years ago, I sustained a terrible injury from an accident that led me down this path. My pills are the only thing in my life that make me feel better. Even this thing I can't keep to myself. Nothing is just MINE.
What do I have? Everything that everyone else wants. But I don't want it! You can well imagine how hard it is to find sympathy when your only complaint is that you have too much. But I'm so unhappy and I'm terribly, awfully, horribly BORED. I'm thinking of just packing and leaving. If I runaway like a child then maybe I can start over as if I was one. Can't I? Can't I go to college again and be what I want to be when I grow up? Can't I have adventures? Find those old wild oats and sow them finally? I'm so ashamed of the nothing that I became. I've wasted my life. All of it. It's unbearable. It's unbearable.


Similar Entries:
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New Comment

By anonymous at 21,Jun,12 10:38

Running away from your family would be a very selfish thing to do, they did not cause your problems so even if you did it would not solve anything for you. Now just because you are rich doesn't mean your problems aren't real so I wont tell you you don't deserve any sympathy for them, but they are also mostly your fault. What is missing from your life is achievement and progress, of course you will be unhappy if your are not going anywhere with your life and don't even have to. Your husband must have had to work hard and fought to achieve his goals to provide you with this life so you should go to him for help finding that sense of purpose. Meaningful achievement is not easy though so don't expect it to be.
By dansaysyo at 21,Jun,12 11:14

i totally hear ur point of why work when u dont feel like it, im on ssi/disability for a nasty case of bipolar type II disorder. people tell me to volunteer, to contribute... i just dont feel like it nor do i want to. im a cutter but id never abuse drugs cept alcohol, i dont touch the hard core shit... too scared. anyway we'll keep living. hang in there as i will.
By anonymous at 23,Jun,12 17:36 Fold Up

you should run away from your family because you contribute NOTHING to them and worse youre sitting on the internet whining about your life when you have a dream life.... people like you are basically worthless burdens it's so sad and true...unless you have a severe debilitating disorder...being 'stressed out' is no excuse and secondly...your husband helps you out and youre STILL complaining??? you have to eb the most ungrateful person to exist and everyone has a right ot be upset...u feel u became being a mother is nothing??? having a family is nothing??? youre WARPED AS should run away because you are so screwed dont realize what you have...youre clueless trash...and why God gives scumbags liek you good lives makes me SICK while others suffer and struggle with nothing...

By anonymous at 21,Jun,12 16:57

There are starving people in the world and you are bitching about being bored? Shove a bottle rocket up yer arse, bitch.
By anonymous at 21,Jun,12 23:31

Well why don't you go help the starving people then?
By anonymous at 24,Jun,12 15:38

^^^^ I bet this rich selfish person said this. I bet you think you're to good to help the poor you greedy selfish person!
By anonymous at 25,Jun,12 13:42

So you are still not helping them then? Did you bring up the "starving people" argument so you could feel self-righteous and superior like you were a better person because you care? You are doing the same amount of good for them as someone who does not. Just be honest, the only reason why you say that stuff if for your own ego so you can tell yourself you are better than everyone else. You are just as “selfish” as anyone else, and no I am not the OP.

By anonymous at 21,Jun,12 18:51

Leave the bitch alone, can't you see shes in pain? Being bored sucks, and you starving morons should all be ashamed of yourselves for making fun of her.
By anonymous at 21,Jun,12 20:10

Really you twobit cocksucker, she knows not what real pain and suffering is, how can you say boredom is something to peul and whine about? If she spent a few nights on the street, or lived in a war torn country she may have something to complain about
By anonymous at 23,Jun,12 17:39 Fold Up

how is she BORED?? Shse a HOUSEWIFE with are a JOB...its not BORING when you have KIDS you idiots...not when you have a FAMILY>.a HUSBAND...THATS NOT BOREDOM. BOREDOM IS HAVING NO FRIENDS AND NO ONE AT ALL...SHE ISNT BORED SHES JUST An ungrateful whining BITCH and showing sympathy for stupid people like that is disgusting...shes just WHINING for no reason...shes become of nothing really??? being a mother is nothing??? she can go back to school...if she wants...she chooses not to...shes an idiot...

By I have no feelings at 21,Jun,12 21:29

I can't fucking believe you, you are sitting here whining about you have a bored life, just isn't happy. Get out and do something, perhaps getting a job will be the first. That's what's wrong with rich people, they sit on their asses and still complain about nothing. You never going to work huh, well what the hell you think you will do if anything happens where your husband can't work, what will you be planning to do then. Go back to school, if you're so have it all, then you can afford to attend any school you want. Wow....yes, lazy you are, yes you are. I mean damn, if you don't get a job, at least get off your ass and clean the house.
By anonymous at 24,Jun,12 15:40

If her husband leaves her she will have nothing. The kids will most likely stay with the father since he's the money maker and because she cant even support herself. She will probably move back with her parents. Very sad and ungrateful.

By anonymous at 21,Jun,12 22:27

If I were your husband, I'll leave you. Why in the hell would he wants to be with someone who sits around to only piss and moan. Your kid is probably depressed because by seeing killing yourself with pain killers that you probably don't even need. You very lucky to have a husband that work hard and come home to work even more because you're too lazy and such a spoiled little bitch to clean the house. If you ever decide to get out in the real world, you'll get stumped on so bad because you're so used to people handling you things instead of you working for it. If you have so much money like you say, take your ass to Africa and see how real it is over there, and you'll soon learn how bless you have it.

By anonymous at 22,Jun,12 00:02

I think there are alot of people like you. Materials things don't make you happy. I always think that I will be happy if I do the right things if life. To be able to look back and believe I lived the way I was intended. I'm quite hard on myself, I dwell heavily on mistakes I make I torture myself thinking about them. It's hard to know what will ultimately make us happy, maybe accepting the past and learning to like yourself for who you are will offer a good start into any new windows of opportunity.

By anonymous at 22,Jun,12 00:20

You need harder drugs. Have you considered meth? A little goes a long way.

By Ed the Pecker at 22,Jun,12 00:49

This writing is one of true blasphemy that has left me scratching my head. Us normal working Joe's just can't understand what the issue is because we get off our asses every day and get things done. You must have a very grave mental problem, perhaps this is the early signs of Lewe's dementia, these people generally sit and look out the window all day being depressed and it just progresses to the point of you loosing your capability to function in any manner. Go get an evaluation. Do it today.

By anonymous at 22,Jun,12 02:43

You can still make something of you life by going back to school. The fact that you don't have to worry about money leaves you in a great luxury to go out and to do great things. Great people have done great things while they are old. I would suggest reading "Its never too late to be great"


By anonymous at 22,Jun,12 05:15

A lot of the comments on here are from people who clearly lack any sense of compassion. Pain is pain, no matter where it comes from. Telling people who are in pain that others have it worse is not helpful. Neither is being abusive.
By anonymous at 22,Jun,12 21:36

I understand what you are saying but it's hard for me to have sympathy for people like this. This woman does nothing and cant even be a house wife because it's too stressful?! You got to be freaking kidding me. There are so many other people in this world who have real problems. This person is all about herself and will always be about herself. This person needs a reality check and needs to go take a drive around in the ghettos and see how people actually live every freaking day. She needs to count her blessings because only 10% of people on this Earth actually live the way that she does and she is unappreciative for the things she has been blessed with in life. No sympathy here. Sorry.

By anonymous at 22,Jun,12 21:33

Wow you have everything and you hate your life?! I hate saying this because I am usually not mean to people, but I feel like you don't deserve what you have. I think you need to be going through the tough times that most of us have to go through. I ask God why does he put people like you in the comfortable position that you are in and so many others would do anything to be in your position. You need to appreciate what you have and if you feel so bad to have everything that you want than give back to the community that doesnt have nearly as half the things in life that you got, but you're probably not going to do that because it's always been about yourself and it still is. People like you are so wrong and sad and need a reality check. You live this great life while 90% of the world struggle everyday financially and through depression and anger. Get your head straight and count all the blessings you have in front of you because most of us dont have nearly as half the things that you claim to have.
By anonymous at 23,Jun,12 17:32

i agree the bitch needs to get her head straight...its sickening... so basically...youre not happy while having EVERYTHING what would you do if you had nothing??? while does God give so much to people this weak bad and ungrateful? its so have a BLESSED LIFE and you hate it??? get a life threatening disease, no support no family no friends no kids and then try to survive...youre a pathetic actually DESERVE to be miserable and depressed for no reason...there aer many people out there like you...who have it all but are still 'depressed' because they are fucked up in the deserve your mental problems...because you are too fucked up to be able to comprehend have them b/c you ARE fucked up...adn that is pitiful!

By anonymous at 23,Jun,12 03:17

Wow.. are you like fucking retarded or something?! Ugh, people like YOU piss me off. I'm usually never mean but, omg you're such a dumb bitch, oh boo fucking hoo your husband does everything for you my life sucks i have a huge house and great friends kill me now i never have to lift a finger. You're complaining that you never have to do anything? and u have money to do stuff? WHAT THE FUCK...GET OFF YOUR LAZY ASS AND GO TO COLLEGE, GO SOMEWHERE FUN. You are a waste of space make something of yourself, you're really pathetic!!!!

By anonymous at 23,Jun,12 17:27

WTF are u bitching about you ungrateful moron....your husband does most of the work...WOW...youre an idiot...
some people would dream of your stupid cunt..
people are nuts these days

By anonymous at 23,Jun,12 17:29

youre a fuking have the american DREAM LIFE with a husband dont have to work...which allows you to pursue other hobbies...imagine living alone with NO husband no kids..NO HAVE A PURPOSE AND YOURE FUCKING BITCHING ABOTU IT. I HATE PEOPLE LIKE make me sick...i know lots of ungrateful stuipd WOMEN IN GODO SITUATIONS BUT DEPRESSED DUMB BITCHES WHILE THE REST OF US SUFFER WITH NOTHING... YOU DESERVE NOTHING NOT THE GOOD LIFE YOU HAVE ...YOU SUCK!!!

By anonymous at 24,Jun,12 02:23

what you are missing in life is my big dick and loving. I shall teach you
how yo suck it good. Then your life will be complete

By anonymous at 24,Jun,12 03:19


By anonymous at 25,Jun,12 20:28

Although I lead only a humble life, I was driven to get off my butt and fight for my dreams. I find in older age that the money that came with my passion was nowhere near as important as the struggle itself.

This is the great irony of life. Everyone thinks they want free stuff, but they discover one way or another that the true gain from working and learning is self-evident.

The work you put in and the results you see after working is the thrill of it all. To see something that YOU did, that came from YOUR mind and YOUR tireless effort and inspiration. Nothing even comes close to that feeling, especially after a lifetime of fighting for it.

"I don't have to. I don't want to. I can't imagine doing it. Part of me would just DIE if I had to take a minimum wage job when everyone I know is a highly educated professional."

If you don't want to work for it, then you can only blame yourself for not trying. You expect to be handed something that nobody is capable of buying for you. You can only do it youself.

By Dicks at 05,Jul,12 02:56

It would very much appear that you're suffering from BCDS: Black Cock Deprivation Syndrome.


Get fucked, stupid spoiled whore.

By anonymous at 21,Aug,12 16:09

I continue. I dont care if girls and women ignore me or notice me. I dont give a fat ass about you fucking sluts out there. Your selfish vain unfriendly money centered amoral assholes. God forgot to give you a heart. Evil scum describes you cunts. Get the fuck out of my sight you fucking cunts.

By anonymous at 22,Aug,12 19:27

Evil rules this shithole world.

By anonymous at 01,Sep,12 02:08

and my final comment to those who harassed me is FUCK YOU ASSHOLES.

By anonymous at 04,Nov,12 18:11

I know several wealthy people. Many of them are under the impression that they must impress other wealthy people, and because of that, many are very unhappy. The bottom line is "We are all human". No matter what you have or do not have has nothing to do with being happy or being miserable. This woman obviously has a proscription drug problem. She needs to get help for that in order to begin the mental healing process. Once she is over her addiction to pain pills, she needs to be herself. Don't worry about what someone else may look at you. You aren't on this earth to impress others. Expecially your friends and neighbors. You should try to be more involved with your children through sports, activities, ect. Since money isn't an issue for your family then you should be out enjoying life more. Not getting your nails done every other day, but out seeing the world. If you feel worthless with your life, then change what you are doing. Make it a point to help those who need help. There is nothing wrong with volunteering at a homeless shelter or an old peoples home. You are sad because of what you have become. Once you become human again and realize that you are no better than anyone else, you will be happy again. You have isolated yourself in a life of riches. You are now realizing that being rich is not life. Instead, Life is what makes you rich.... I truly hope that you can do better with your life. But you have to be the one to make the changes. God bless you....

By anonymous at 21,Nov,12 03:47

You truly do not deserve what you have. I hope you lose it all and then you will realize how good you had it.

By Torn at 05,May,13 20:15

IJWTS wow! Why can't I think of tinhgs like that?

By Spud at 15,May,17 02:15

And to think I was going to talk to sonoeme in person about this.

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