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Loneliness

Posted by Not important at June 14, 2012
Tags: 2012 June  Loneliness

First off, I'm 19 years old, a male. I do way too many drugs which only make my depression and anxiety worse. I suffer from panic disorder and have nightmares almost every night. Every single day is a struggle to get beyond my insecurities and loneliness. Constantly, I think of getting a gun and blowing my brains accross my room as I cannot stand these feelings anymore. My family is dying and my friends are committing suicide. Of course, I have absolutely no one to turn to or love. Shrinks will never understand me and neither will anyone else. FUCK GOD. "He" is nothing but something for humans to use as a security blanket. I've always chosen to be a realist, but GIRLS have never liked that since all they want is some pretend prince charming which I am not. What hurts the most is my loneliness and perpetual despair it creates. Ever since I was 15 I've cut myself and longed for death which my horrific scars can prove. I'm mentally ill, plus missed my chances to find good girls who I later discovered wanted me at a young age (14 or so). Anger overwhelms me, pissed at myself for my mistakes and dream for a better day. I'm not a virgin, but it's been since I was 18 when I last had intercourse. Self satisfaction and escorts aren't for me, but this loneliness kills my heart and mind. Please, someone save me... I need REAL advice, thank you.


Votes:


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Comments:
By anonymous at 22,Jun,12 14:01

Well it will help most if you get off the drugs first. But until you do that you'll just dig a deeper hole. You probably cant do it on your own, get into a rehab center. As for anxiety and depression, I first suggest exercising, go jogging, maybe lift some weights etc.. Its proven to help more than most anti depressents. But again, need to stay off the drugs first.

As for your God being a security blanket for humans, I think your wrong. I know of many people that have a better life because of jesus. Someone made a post on here a while ago who was healed of their cancer, many people have changed lives. youtube brian welch's life story for one example. Anyway, your free to believe what you want.

Regards


By anonymous at 22,Jun,12 15:17

You need to see a psychiatrist and sort your shit out.


By Truth at 22,Jun,12 19:15

Here's my advice..

GO FUCK YOURSELF! seriously, these dopey sob stories are all the same! All the common denominators. I mean, you admit you're a complete fucktard, and even spell out why, and then ask for help. There is no goddamn help for you! You're to stupid to put it all together yourself, even though the answer is right in front of your face. You just really need to step outside yourself and whip the ass of the prissy little mancunt you see before you. I would get rippy drunk and then kick my own ass for being such a cockbiter, then in the morning I'd feel the shame of getting my ass kicked by me, and then maybe I'd start flying right.

You're too much of a pussy to fight yourself though.

I definitely do hate you.
By anonymous at 23,Jun,12 19:21

hey you, i dont know who the fuck you are but, you need to SHUT THE FUCK UP. are you stupid. U NEED TO GO FUCK YOURSELF. i personally would beat the shit out of you if i knew you. little prick
By anonymous at 23,Jun,12 19:23

matter of fact this is BY ANONYMOUS AT 23. JUN12 19:21
TRUTH, U NEED TO GO FUCK YOURSELF. UR THE LITTLE PUSSY WHO CANT FIGHT THROUGH IT
By anonymous at 24,Jun,12 02:47

wow, the retards are out tonite!


By anonymous at 23,Jun,12 20:16

talk to me at mmrgem48@gmail.com


By anonymous at 24,Jun,12 19:54

you suck. stop wasting air
By anonymous at 15,Aug,13 13:52

you first. asshat.


By Cursed at 24,Jun,12 21:37

Here's my advice- think of your insecurities as a challenge. You have to make a list of goals. Write them down. Post them, internalize them and do it. Whatever it takes. I spent seven years in an abusive, rage induced, relationship and got dragged by my hair- trust me, when you want to do something, you do it. No matter whether it kills you or not. Find anyway to crawl, drag, scrape, save, but do it- Girls schmirls, they will come when they see that you are happy. And I personally am a firm believer in self-gratification. Be safe. And if you kill yourself- well, I guess you'll never know how great your life would have been...
Sister Cursed


By anonymous at 25,Jun,12 05:31

I had the same issues too with doing way to many drugs only making my depression and anxiety worse. I found out i was pregnant and had to stop the drinking and drugs and it was a tough battle at first but emotionally i sorted out after a couple months and feel much better now. I still battle severe anxiety and depression however im much more capable of dealing with it because im sober. Good luck, remember you are not alone and there is ALWAYS a way for a better and happier life.


By Dead alive at 25,Jun,12 14:23

dude.my life is not any better than you but you have to know that you cant runaway from your past,but you can build a whole new future and by future i mean this next second of your life.Time is a valuable thing.and i advice u to listen to linkin parks songs,they really match with the lives like ours!


By anonymous at 26,Jun,12 22:39

I know this may sound crazy but a lot the drug addiction and bad mental thoughts are caused by the foods we eat. I've been there and done that!!!!!!!!!!! I'm sure you are probably doing the SAD diet (standard american diet) just like the 99% of the Americans.

You need to look into doing an elimination diet, stop eating fast foods and junk food and start eating whole living foods preferably NOT cooked, 100% raw vegan diet is the most powerful. IT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Google food allergies and side effects caused by food allergies.

Google this "Conquering Anxiety, Depression and Fatigue Without Drugs - the Role of Hypoglycemia"

Google raw food diet or living foods diet. There is a good website if you can overlook the God shit hacres(dot)com or google Hallelujah Diet is an 85% raw vegan diet.

I've lived some of the hell you speak of. the nightmares are probably being cause by a blood sugar drop (hypoglycemia) this causes the body to release adrenaline while you sleep this causes the bad dreams and you may also notice night sweats.

Try changing your diet, it plays a major role on how you think and feel.

My 2C for what its worth, I've studied health and nutrition for 30+ years I might know a little :o)
By anonymous at 24,Jul,12 10:43

Its wonderful to have ppl like you to give their 2c:) im sure that ur post will help this guy and after reading it i am now looking at the internet 4 info on this as i am a firm believer in being healthy and healing the body via natural means. it can only help to look into these things. Great advice :)


By anonymous at 29,Jun,12 00:28

I can relate with the inability to be on the same level with MOST people, because many tend to be into the same level of thinking. Like justifying things in life because of god, or some other reason that they themselves can't reasonably explain. That's just the truth for most people, it's an area of their lives that contains no interest to them to dive deeper, it makes it hard to relate on areas like that if those things are something you have an interest in.

As far as drugs go, I've tried it, but quit. Don't get me wrong I have love for it, and it's taught me many things about myself, but in the long run drugs will not help you. They will fuck you up. Your thinking and rationality will go to shit, since your priorities will be on maintaining a drug intake, your life will be continuously changing in negative ways if you keep doing drugs.

I don't understand why people cut themselves, it's fucking retarded to me. If you can justify it with reasoning then you think different from me, it's something I can't even THINK why someone would feel the slightest desire to do it. Stop that shit alright?


By anonymous at 02,Jul,12 00:38

I've had panic attacks in front of people and it sucks I have nightmares and night terrors a lot and it sucks, but you have to find something that makes you happy and that you can do everyday such as physical activity, music or art.


By cygnusmom at 11,Jul,12 20:53

First of all: you are important. People, that you wouldn't realize now, would feel a terrible sadness and void if you were to die. Please get help-I know that when someone is in the dark place that you are in now, that is is hard to reach out for help. But you were able to do it here on this site, so that is a strong thing you were able to do in spite of the depression. I'm very sorry for the losses of friends to suicide that you have experienced-it sucks, I know first hand. And I'm sorry that your family is dying. But I promise you that if you check out on purpose and early that the sadness you will leave behind for others to feel will be terrible-it sounds like you know this from experience. Please show what you have written to someone you can trust will get you help. If you don't have someone that you trust, go to the Emergency Room or your doctor with it-they won't judge but will see that you really need some help. I wanted to die a few times in the last year, in the wake of my only son's suicide. I am glad that I stuck it out though, at this point. If you want to talk via phone, please send me a note and I'll gladly listen and not judge.


By anonymous at 11,Jul,12 21:15

Your story is very close to my heart as its a very similar situation to my ex boyfriends. Only drugs are no longer his escape its now Alcohol. I hope things get better for you, i can't imagine what its like but maybe you could consider getting off the drugs as soon as possible and consider seeing a doctor about some medication you could take to feel better. Surround yourself with the right people i can sense you have all the best intentions and are a really beautiful person among the issues you are faced with. Don't ever consider picking up a gun and doing such a thing because believe it or not i bet there is someone that would want to do the same to themselves if you did that.


By anonymous at 13,Jul,12 01:50

Hey bud I know what you're going through. The problem is you're surrounded by negative people. And why do you hate God? Look for him, even if he is a security blanket. Plain and simple, God blesses those who seek him. And if he's so fake..... Why is it that his believers are so peaceful and happy with their lives.. Get to know him, pray. I bet he'll change your life.
- Keep fighting your demons.

P.S.- It starts with the bible. And prayer IS the answer.


By anonymous at 21,Aug,12 03:10

I continue. Fuck girls and women. Most of them are evil scum.


By anonymous at 26,Aug,12 15:56

im 19 as well. im a girl. reading this made me want to help you but i can only do so in words. please don't give up. i've felt very similar at times. just don't get angry at yourself. we all experience times like this. i don't think girls like me are evil. we are just so scared to give ourselves to people we care the most about because the fear of getting hurt overwhelms us. you will find a girl who can overcome that fear because she loves you more than anything else. there is always somebody no matter how long it takes, there is somebody who only wants to be with you. keep your head up, okay? i know it's hard and can be impossible but please try to keep your hopes alive. :)


By anonymous at 01,Sep,12 17:14

and my final comment to all you maggots who have harassed me is FUCK YOU ASSHOLES.


By anonymous at 13,Dec,12 13:52

Hey man, please don't hurt yourself. I'm 22 years old and I understand exactly what you mean about how people treat you. Especially when they want to lie to themselves about "god". We all cope with life in different ways, and people like you and I, we don't sugar coat reality to make us feel better at the end of the day. And that is to real for some people. if you need someone to talk to, ever, my email address is onthebrink127@live.com. Please do not hesitate if you feel the need or urge to message. you've got a friend who doesn't even know you yet right here


By anonymous at 08,Mar,14 12:22

The only way is jesus, pray to find and he will give you stength/ I want you to live/ hold on never quit/


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