I have been feeling extremely depressed the last couple of months. I am mid 30's now. Single and havent had a real date in a few years. My odds of finding a decent man and getting married are pretty much gone. I have a lame job. Its ridiculous, I bust my butt everyday, I went to college and yet, I never get ahead. All the a-holes and back stabbers around me do instead. Really? Is this fair? I have a studio apartment. Yep, I'm not even grown up enough to have a real place. No one I know ever comes here. Cant blame them. Place is ridiculously small and no where really to sit. If I actually go out, its a miracle. Most of the time, I am either sitting alone in my place, or going to places all alone. Yes I am that weird lady one sees at a restaurant or movie sitting alone in the back. Pathetic huh? But I have a cat, yep I will be that crazy cat lady soon everyone see's on the news.
I dont really have any friends. I just have my parents. Who are of course getting older and having more medical issues. And I think they have given up on me. Who could blame them really? All there friends kids (doctors, lawyers, married, with kids, etc). All they can tell people is that I work. Oh joy. No grandkids to spoil, no special talents or successes to brag about.
Why am I here? Seriously. Its ridiculous. And I cant see any light at the end of the tunnel. I just see me getting older and soon being the creapy old lady that you see talking to herself.