Sad existence | Posted by Unskilled at June 22, 2012 | Tags: 2012 June |
I am 23 years old and I have lived in the U.S my whole life. I have been arrested for 2 DUIs and am facing deportation. I lost my job because I quit out of shame, it wasn't the greatest job but it paid. I live with my parents and I spend my days sleeping and my nights awake tossing and turning or wasting my mind away on useless activities. I am so unmotivated to find a job because with my record I can only work in terrible jobs like bussing at restaurants and such. I don't even attempt to look for work because I want to die so badly. I want to run away to Colombia but I have only visited 2 times in my whole life. I am on probation and I have to pay thousands of dollars to get off probation and even more thousands to fight my deportation. My dad has been sick he had a brain aneurism and now he isn't working either. My friends consist of one girl who I secretly am so repulsed by its not even funny, and another so called friend who just picks me up and gets me drunk and in risky situations. I hate living in this life, and I always have this terrible pain in my chest when I sit and think about all the chances I had to make things right. I hate myself and I hate my condition and I wish someone or something could stop the pain. | |
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