I am past 50 and never had a chance to find love and have a real life.You are taught in Catholic school how great god is, what a fictional characture the so called god is. My problems started early on in my life, some where between 7th and 8th grade my motherwas diagnosed with Ahlzimers, if you don't know what that is your lucky. i had a so called brother wanting to kill my my dad and myself. He would stand outside our kitchen window holding a shotgun and just watch us. he put agun to my head whn he was coming for my dad. Then as my mother got worst my sister and I were basically left to take care of my mother. I guess it was around 12 or 13 years of care we gave my motherbefore she passed. not long after tat my dad was diagnosed with Diabetes,a little late.He had been hiding damaged toes. So they started cutting off parts of his foot and finally up to under his knee.
This timeperiod lasted about another 10years I guess.i would do it all again ,even though it destroyed the better part of which people call your prime years.I could not allow anyone into my life, it would not of been fair.So here ilay over 50, alone 100's of miles from whats left of my familyand i cannot wait for my time to be up.
Asfor my renigion i believe there was a Jesus and the Blessed mother ,but ,i have doubts on a good god. First when the Blessed Mother was so called blessed by the holy spirit and told she would conceive Jesus, I feel that the so called god raped or abducted the blessed mother.The Blessed Mother was not given a choice nor asked about bearing a child, that in any court is pantamount to rape.Do not get me wrong i believe Jesus was and is the truest form of love for mankind. Jesus was so loved his so called father would not answer His pleas during his passion.Jesus was loved and followed by so many that His so called father,god did not help him therefore being part of Jesus's death, a murderer. Any way you look at it god was forgotten and Jesus was loved. A good God would not allow all the suffering and deaths which have and will occur in our lives. that is why I belive this so called God is aligned with the evil one, Satan and untill our Lord Jesus see's this we are all screwed.
As for my life i wait for the end, I too have Diabetes,so what.
i do not believe there is any hope of me getting back to be near my family. I know I will never find love.bottom line , Life Sucks!