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day after day..

Posted by eric at January 23, 2011
Tags: 2011 January  Loneliness  Money  Poverty

I've been divorced twice;
I am bankrupt;
I suspect I will be losing my job in the future because of the bankruptcy;
I have no brothers or sisters, parents are dead;
I have no faith, thoughts of church or handing my life over to religion gives me the creeps;
I have been through the counseling, anti-depressive drug routine which hasn't worked (therapy of course, costs money);
I have no hobbies because hobbies cost money (everything costs);
I have no friends because of my social anxiety (from a dysfunctional childhood);
My father was an alcoholic to which I am susceptible, the only reason I believe I'm not is that I can't afford to buy it;
I have no retirement fund any more as I used it to pay off the mortgage on my previous house where the children live with the ex;
Every week I worry that I will have enough money to buy enough gas to get to work;
The apartment hasn't seen more than 60 degrees in the winter because I can't afford the heating bill;
I can't provide my children (2) with a secure future, the only hope there is that I die while still employed so that they will get the insurance;
The ex has a low paying job and the phone has been disconnected once already due to no payment and the heating oil company has stopped service pending more payments;
Every night I hope I will just not wake up


Votes:


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Comments:
By anonymous at 20,Feb,11 23:41

God. As much as i hate my life... You seem to have a lot more responsibilities than I. My problem is i worry about my future too much, not caring about now. Im only 19. My advice is that you take a dollar or two each week and play the lottery. Or maybe find a woman for financial support. Looks to me like in your case... money would change everything.
By anonymous at 21,Feb,11 12:04

lottery is a waste of money


By anonymous at 23,Feb,11 14:35

you suck at life. grow up.


By anonymous at 24,Feb,11 00:44

I know how you feel about not wanting to wake up, but you have to keep trying...it's bad enough to have your life suck,but you can't add cowardice to the sheet..my life sucks as well..to be honest, i think a lot of people's do..the thing is, you just don't know what is around that next corner and it seriously might be something great..if you are honest with yourself, you know it has happened before..
you are not looking and wow..something awesome shows up..that is what keeps us getting up and that is all there is..hope...buck up, things will get better..


By at 28,Feb,11 04:35

I highly suggest you join the military. If you go Active Duty, the military will take care of your entire family. You will get free housing, monthly food allowances for your entire family.


By anonymous at 17,Mar,11 03:45

Eventually you will have more money, life will seem less bleak, but it will take time for life to improve.


By Lina at 27,Dec,16 15:44

Superior thinking denstomrated above. Thanks!


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