So here I am in my room in the shittiest country you can think of Iraq! Why am I here because I've never had enough money to go to college and got laid off from the only good job that I have ever had. I have an 8 year old son that I love very much but his father never comes around. As soon as I got pregnant he ran off with another woman. So I had my son then married the first man that gave me attention and what did he do. He beat me up told me I was a peice of shit and that no body deserves to be married to me. So I divorced him and joined the Army. Now I feel like no matter what I do in life to try to improve I'm always that piece of shit. My parents said it when I was younger my mother used to call me a whore but I was a virgin until I got married to my son's father. Yes I've been married twice before. Fucking ridiculous always as soon as I'm happy then life just takes another shit dive. I'm constently working out, volunteering for details, taking college courses plus asking to go to every fucking board coming up just so that I can get ahead and be proud of my self. But my mother still says that I'm fucked up and she is watching my son while I am here and now she says my son's head is fucked up but she will not even let me finish a sentence its always I'm the bad guy. Am I that fucked up I mean I want my son to have a good life and look up to his mother and that is why I joined the army I don't have to rely on a man to give me money I can just say kiss my ass I'm doing this on my own other that my bitch fucking mother telling me everything that is going wrong and will not even tell me what good is happening with my son. Its her fucking up everybodies head and she gets a fucking kick out of it. My higher ups they promote everyone but me I've never done anything wrong I don't even talk unless I have to and I accomplish alot. But no I can't just advance I get talked to like I"m fucking retarded and when I do try to talk to someone to get advice they whisper behind my fucking back. The chaplain is a fucking freak. I'm just done I'm tired of having this weight on my chest I'm tired of crying I'm tired of being away from my baby in this country when it doesn't even matter. And no body fucking tell me well you can have it worse people getting murdered and blah blah blah. This is the way I fucking feel I don't like it I need somebody who can help me out. I"m so angry right now and I don't know what to do with it. I think maybe I'm seeking approval from everybody and I care to much about what they think. But dammit I never get anything for the good I have done. I'm babysitting Iraqis, cleaning up thier nasty ass country, I'm away from my kid, my mother is a bitch, and my higher ups play favoritism how patriotic is that. FUCK THIS SHIT!