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What to do when you fucking hate your life after you think you've fixed it

Posted by Mandy at February 5, 2011
Tags: Family  2011 February  Job  Relationship

So here I am in my room in the shittiest country you can think of Iraq! Why am I here because I've never had enough money to go to college and got laid off from the only good job that I have ever had. I have an 8 year old son that I love very much but his father never comes around. As soon as I got pregnant he ran off with another woman. So I had my son then married the first man that gave me attention and what did he do. He beat me up told me I was a peice of shit and that no body deserves to be married to me. So I divorced him and joined the Army. Now I feel like no matter what I do in life to try to improve I'm always that piece of shit. My parents said it when I was younger my mother used to call me a whore but I was a virgin until I got married to my son's father. Yes I've been married twice before. Fucking ridiculous always as soon as I'm happy then life just takes another shit dive. I'm constently working out, volunteering for details, taking college courses plus asking to go to every fucking board coming up just so that I can get ahead and be proud of my self. But my mother still says that I'm fucked up and she is watching my son while I am here and now she says my son's head is fucked up but she will not even let me finish a sentence its always I'm the bad guy. Am I that fucked up I mean I want my son to have a good life and look up to his mother and that is why I joined the army I don't have to rely on a man to give me money I can just say kiss my ass I'm doing this on my own other that my bitch fucking mother telling me everything that is going wrong and will not even tell me what good is happening with my son. Its her fucking up everybodies head and she gets a fucking kick out of it. My higher ups they promote everyone but me I've never done anything wrong I don't even talk unless I have to and I accomplish alot. But no I can't just advance I get talked to like I"m fucking retarded and when I do try to talk to someone to get advice they whisper behind my fucking back. The chaplain is a fucking freak. I'm just done I'm tired of having this weight on my chest I'm tired of crying I'm tired of being away from my baby in this country when it doesn't even matter. And no body fucking tell me well you can have it worse people getting murdered and blah blah blah. This is the way I fucking feel I don't like it I need somebody who can help me out. I"m so angry right now and I don't know what to do with it. I think maybe I'm seeking approval from everybody and I care to much about what they think. But dammit I never get anything for the good I have done. I'm babysitting Iraqis, cleaning up thier nasty ass country, I'm away from my kid, my mother is a bitch, and my higher ups play favoritism how patriotic is that. FUCK THIS SHIT!


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Comments:
By anonymous at 03,Mar,11 04:28

I hope one day you get the love you deserve. The fact that you would join the mother FUCKING army for you kid is fucking amazing. Women like you fucking rock. It amazes me that people like you - a fucking good mother - get fucking shit from EVERYONE. its fucking bullshit. the bastards in the army won't promote you because their fucking sexist bastards but don't let if phase you. fuck them, you think their life is any better? you fucking rock girl I will fucking pray for you. yeah im religious but i don't believe in fucking bullshit. i fucking believe that you deserve the fucking best. I'll pray for you I fucking will. I hope there is something inside of you that keeps you strong. I hope you can look at the sun and let it warm your beautiful face. You are the fucking shit. Gosh damnit. you are the bomb. I love fucking people like you you just fucking keep going. you fucking join army for your fucking kid! i love you.
By anonymous at 21,May,11 09:47

hey for a religious mother fucker you sure are "fucking" a lot!!!!!!


By anonymous at 03,Mar,11 20:59

damn sandniggers :/


By anonymous at 04,Mar,11 02:16

after you finish your term in Iraq, take your son and move away from your mom. she is a negative influence in your life. she only brings you and your son down, and it's terrible that a mom would do that but so is life. look for good people that will bring love and positivity to your life. seperate yourself from what is bringing you misery and try to find places and people that can help you. if you feel guilty about moving away from her, call her up once in awhile, but seriously, get distance and create a new way of living. just try to worry about your life and creating a good life for your son. if you are constantly being put down, then it leaves you less energy and happiness to give to your son. just my point of view. i think your son is more important than her, she is a grown woman and can deal with herself, but your son can't. plus you dont deserve that kind of treatment. i hope that you can find a peaceful and contented life.


By anonymous at 05,May,11 22:02

You got it bad girl, real bad. You deserve better, and I'm, sorry your life turned out this way. You are capable though, you got yourself this far. Be the woman you know you would look up to if you were your son, cause in the end when he's grown up and looks back he will realize what you did and what you went through and you did by yourself. No one can tell you how to feel, and no one can tell you to stop trying to be somebody. This may sound like Bull but keep trying, it will just make success taste that much sweeter.
By anonymous at 25,Jul,11 03:35

Get away from mom asap. Get away from army asap. Find a job that u can tolerate and do your best to raise your child. Take pleasure in the fact that even in a fucked up world you can do right. Enjoy the little things, don't compare yourself to others. Don't waste your money on bullshit, you know what I mean. Happiness has to be self generated from within, it cannot be bought, inherited, or stumbled apon, it must be practiced and mastered.
Your mother is projecting her issues and insecurities on to u, flee as fast as u can.
No one is especially out to get you so get that out of your head. Fact is people help people when they have reason to. You need to give people a reason/trade-off (if u will) for their assistance be creative.

Hope this helps...


By anonymous at 07,Apr,12 04:42

Well, do you want your child to grow up feeling like you do about your mother or not? Do you want your precious little one that you love so much to grow up and be 20 or 30 or 40 and wishing that his or her mom or dad had just LOVED THEM? Kinda like you wish? Who do you want to be?


By anonymous at 26,Jun,12 00:21

Wow u must be a loozer cant make decissions on your own its called get a fucking job bitch. stop cring no one cares so screw everone . do whst u have to do. dumb ass the world isnt going to revolve around u. go to church and believe in something cuz u need it befour u csn believe in your self
By anonymous at 02,Feb,13 21:45

Wow, your a chode licking whore arenʻt you? This woman is struggling and yo are over here telling her how much she sucks at life and that she canʻt make decisions? Not to mention you spelled decisions, like "decissions" you dumb ass cunt licking vagina hermaphredite bitch cock licking idiot lying piece of dog shit go the fuck to hell you cock sucker.


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