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Posted by no name at February 25, 2011
Tags: Attitude  2011 February  Loneliness

Iam a 53 year old women, single and with no children. I was married,unhappily for 15 years and got divorced 11 years ago. My family has never been close, I"ve got no close friends and I no longer enjoy my job. I divorced with the hope of finding someone that would appreciate me and share the joy of living with me. I have not found that at all. It seems that life only gets harder as one gets older. It's very difficult not really having a family for emotional support, let alone any friends. I truly have lost my joy. Every day has become a struggle. My depression has overcome me, barely able to cope with my job and lack of anything fun in my life. I am my own worse enemy.


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Comments:
By anonymous at 13,Mar,11 15:31

GET OVER your self you old bag. i bet you were a bitch in your younger days,, now that you're old ugly and stinky you're all nice, loving and wishing for love you rejected way back in your young tight-buttt days..


welcome to the real world. now all you have to look forward to is adult diapers, loneliness and death.


see you in hell
By anonymous at 17,Mar,11 03:58

oops was for mr. cheerful in the first post.
By anonymous at 05,Jan,13 22:24

What a dick
By anonymous at 05,Aug,11 00:45 Fold Up

you are a real piece of crap to return a comment like you did. you have no life other than being an ASSHOLE.
By anonymous at 15,Mar,12 03:31 Fold Up

It's ery unfortunate that you have no compassion for others or their pain. I'm sorry for you.
By anonymous at 21,Mar,13 20:44

yes we must have compassion,,,My mother committed suicide when I was 10 years old. so life started with a wopper..she took 4 bottles of Aspirin. I am now 53,,I have suffered and I need to do better..enjoy life
By anonymous at 02,Nov,16 19:59 Fold Up

You are a real asshole, Dick shit
By anonymous at 02,Nov,16 20:00

That's for the idiot in the first post


By anonymous at 13,Mar,11 15:34

I really know how you feel. Your life may look good threw othe peoples eyes but you are very depressed. I wish you all the best. Please stay positive....
By anonymous at 17,Mar,11 03:56

Wow, hateful much?
By anonymous at 21,Mar,13 20:44 Fold Up

you are nice....love one another


By anonymous at 16,May,11 20:24

Hi! Your post tells me you have STRENGTH to move on, because you did the first time where you left the unhappy, unfulfilling relationship. No one should stay in an unhappy relationship for the sake of just being able to say you are not alone.
I see better days for you, God loves you, and guess what?! 53 in NOT OLD anymore! :D 75% of the population will be there soon right there with you! It is not just what you are going through, it is what we all will go through. Trust in the Lord for the strength on the days you cannot find your own.


By anonymous at 05,Aug,11 00:18

i think that people run into obsticals as we get older. my life also sucks most of the time. seems we want the best but it never seems to be. i expect most people to be pieces of crap. have had to much disapointment in my life. trying to be positive is not easy when one has been crapped on too much. it is real easy for all who are happy to tell you to get over it. don't give up just get through a day at a time and quietly ignore all the other people because someway or somehow it will all change. hopefully for the best. it is a f**ked up world some days.


By anonymous at 05,Aug,11 00:40

i am a 53 yr old male divorced twice with alot of years into both marrages. i have very little faith in people anymore. i find it hard to trust anyone because of too much disappointment. i have learned how to be happy by not letting anyone into my life or to get close to anyone. yea it gets lonely but i think it is good for one to figure out why we are where we are now. hopefully i will figure this out. just keep on going and step carefully and be aware most people are pieces of crap with bad motives. trust in the LORD and in your heart. most people won't know how you feel because most people havn't really lived any hard times or bad times or any real life.
By anonymous at 14,Mar,12 20:13

I'm 53 and lost my first love whom I married at 34. Then I was so depressed over it for years, tried dating when I was younger, and most men were jerks. Now I'm stuck living with someone who won't marry me, and I can't afford to move out. I never had kids, and life is getting lonelier and lonelier. I wish I could find someone with kids still to raise, who would take me in and let me do some surrogate parenting. I need a family. I try trusting the Lord, but this life is too lonely and empty for me, even though I have many facebook friends, etc. They have families; I don't.


By anonymous at 29,Feb,12 08:46

Giving to others such as reading to shut-ins or going and volunteering at a local hospital will get you out of the house and around people that really WANT to see you and welcome your attention. I started delivering meals on wheels just to get out of the house and now when I am home alone I can look forward to my next delivery day and those welcoming smiling faces.


By anonymous at 30,Apr,12 20:23

You are 53 years old with no children and you where unhappy for 15 years no friend and no family...well it is time for you to start being happy you are free at last you could wake up tommorow and start a new life .. a blank canvas!!!

At 53 you are not old 95 maybe but not 53!!

You need to think about good stuff in life what can you do to make others happy focus on that, help people, be kind to them, get out of your way to help them, and beleive me the reward that you will get out of this is tremendous!!!

You are someone very special, and if you want only if you want you can change your life in a instant by being who you really are.

go back to a time that you where very happy and full of energie in your life, plug your mind to those moment this will recharge your energy for you to start on you blank canvas!!

Hope you will create something great!!! because you are a beautiful person!!!

Serge xox


By dic at 22,May,12 05:00

email me on:dicpool7@gmail.com, i have a solution for u............


By shieldwolf at 13,Jun,12 14:37

You are in the same boat as I. I am here with no body left in my side of ths family. I had 4 kids a grown, now they're on to their own world. Contacts!? Not a one! I sit here in my wee lil ole flat with one and a half room and wonder where I am going to end up the next day! I have not at least a simple place to visit old friends! and all around me are just "ghosts" I will perhaps be one of them too!Who cares? not a soul ( but I wish to care for yer soul) mine is simple anyways.


By anonymous at 13,Jun,12 14:39

please try to contact me ghostwolf57@hotmail.com


By shieldwolf57 at 13,Jun,12 14:41

you make me cry more than ever before.


By anonymous at 24,Jul,12 12:11

I'm in my 40s, and can relate. But I never married. What has kept my life manageable things and enjoyable in middle age are --being a mom, my stable job, hobbies, Christian faith, and advice received from counseling and education learned in college. Perhaps a Psy.D can help you. But the fact remains--life will never be perfect.


By anonymous at 26,Aug,12 00:43

I'm there just realizing it at 57 I have had a loveless marriage since 40 and have grown children. I cater to all their needs to fill the voids mostly babysitting grandchildren. I feel as though the next birthday is too much stress to celebrate and honestly want to tell my family the best gift is to let it go. I do not care to connect with friends or family because it is always and only a show , an act , no Kobe would want to see the real me. I truly am too much of a downer to be around so when I do have to be social it is a total fake act, that's exhausting and privately humiliating to me. Mostly because I know I have wasted a life with the wrong man of 37 years and secretively wonder what it would be like to want to be with someone. He hadn't done anything terrible has been detached for many years and I remained outgoing but cannot do it anymore. Only 57 and I feel so sad I have wasted too many years. And by the way have kept my good looks and stayed fit unlike my husband who does not care about his health. No where to go but wait to grow old, older and that's it.


By anonymous at 15,Sep,12 22:16

Not sure if the original poster will read this, but here goes:
You have survived a lot of bad things in your life. As several other people have said- you deserve to look forward to the future.
You are not alone in the Lonely Department. Breaking out of that trap will take some work, such as joining a support group, or a local community center, or a college class, or even doing volunteer work. These are all good ice breakers, especially for someone who is shy.
You have intrinsic value as the good person that you are. When you start to feel anxious try deep breathing-slowly for 1/2 hour- because this will calm the vagus nerve in your body. Drinking water can do this- but it is not as effecient as deep breathing. Remember how valuable you are as you do this.
There are many other people who don't know you at all who are thinking good thoughts for your continued spiral upward of good health and happiness. Believe it or not,even though it may not feel like it, we are all in this together. Blessings


By anonymous at 17,Sep,12 01:11

That first responder is a total asshole, and I really hope he gets a heap of shit for that. Hoping that your situation has improved. Obviously, I am here because I too think that life sucks big time. I am 47 female. I've raised two kids essentially on my own, and regret that I didn't walk away when I had the chance, during the divorce. I have spent the majority of my life as a door mat. I have always had the potential to earn whatever I needed independently. I provided too well for my children. My children basically only came around to get what they could while they could, but it got worse, once I became ill. My son ripped me off financially, pretty much destroying my financial life. He is dead to me. Sounds harsh, but it was totally necessary. The thing with son caused such heartache in the family, that I cannot seem to even have a relationship with my daughter. No identified problems between us, I just cannot feel close to her since my son's betrayal. I relocated to be near my romantic interest, but that has only resulted in putting me into serious debt. Now, my dog and best friend is getting old and he will probably die. While I never thought that I could live without him, I am getting accustomed to the idea. It makes sense. I realize though, that without him (my dog) there is no one whose life is affected whether I live or die. To no one do I matter. So what now? I try to feel better by taking on the struggles of others, but everything seems pretty meaningless. I have a disease that disrupted my life, but isn't bad enough to kill me quickly. A disease that wracks my body with pain and mobility issues, and it waxes and wanes, creating disbelief int hose who watch me. Of course the doctors tell me that I am sick as hell and my treatment costs around $2400 per month, but no one can know this because of privacy laws. LOL. So people see me limp on the right leg on Monday, then they see me limp on the left on Tuesday....Roll their eyes. I cant open doors, people roll their eyes...kill me now.


By anonymous at 19,Sep,12 21:29

Life is what you make. Despite how bad your life seems, it can be worst. Loneliness is a fact, accept it + move on. First, you have choices. You can choose to be happy. You can choose to kick all the negative people + things out of your life - which I highly reccommend. You will notice a BIG improvement immediately by getting rid of toxic people + the crap they bring . Once you do that, live your life free of any expectations. Control the things that are within your reign + let go of the things you don't have control over. Don't stress yourself out. What for? Sure isn't going to make you happier. Have faith there is a lesson for you to learn. Have faith there is a higher power guiding you + believe that you are where you're suppose to be. Accept the golden rule: LIFE IS HARSH, stop feeling sorry + do something about. If not, then accept your fate as it is with appreciation + gratitude. Remember, it could be worse. Smile, be aware of your feelings + remind yourself you are NOT 6 ft. under. There is a 'tomorrow' full of hope. Anything Is possible, even a vacation trip to the moon!


By anonymous at 21,Jan,13 02:17

I


By anonymous at 27,Apr,13 22:52

I'm married nearly 25 years with children and feel so alone. I spend so much time and energy into my job and keeping physically fit that my social life is zilch. My wife hates me my kids are into there own things and I feel so alone. I guess it would be even worse in your situation. People look up to me and wish they were like me? If they only knew! My books and my art comfort me but of friendship I have none. I feel for you. I think in part it may be our age.


By anonymous at 30,Jun,13 07:34

Hi Friend,
I am a fifty three year old never childless married Christian woman. I have wanted to marry and have never found the right person. The man I was engaged to cheated. I have had health issues, unemployment, lost my life saving during the recession. Had to go on food stamps suffered depression. loss of friends and family close to me. I am a professional person social worker. Life has been difficultt the last few years. I have found and will always find true friendship and love through Jesus Christ. I have suffered anxiety and depression most of my life. Please go out and find hobbies and join groups where people really care. Celebrate Recovery a group of people who hear and talk about their problems in a confidential group. Pray that the Lord will find true friends for you. People find friends and marriage at all stages. Please get help and support. A virtual hug and Blessings.
Blessings and Peace
Carol


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