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it's over

Posted by Fallen at March 1, 2011
Tags: Loneliness  2011 March  Philosophical

You know, it’s actually kind of funny. Once again, I’ve been reminded to consequences of actually letting people in and caring for them. The only thing that can come from that is pain. Everyone I try to get close to, even these so-called “friends” go out of their way to hurt me. I really thought I actually made some friends this time, too. Finally, I had two people in my life I could talk to. I tried to be a good friend. I did my best to do everything I believe a friend should do. Is it me? Or is it people in this world are just so horrible there’s no hope left? Now, once again, I am alone. So, I will go and sit in my empty place and listen to the sounds of silence. I hate this world. I hate everything and everyone in it. Mankind needs to be wiped off this world, for man is nothing more than a plague to the planet. And I know I cannot make that happen. Then again, maybe it’s not them which needs to be taken out of this world. Maybe it’s me. I’ve heard time and time again, when you know something has to be done, it is your obligation to ensure it gets done. Maybe it’s time for me to do something about it. Stop living in the silence and become part of it. It’s not me who doesn’t need this world. It’s this world that doesn’t need me. Let’s look at the facts…my sister would be greatly upset if I were no longer around; however, she does have a good support circle now to help her get through it. And, I think, there may be one or two people out there who may actually be upset about it. But, I know I they will quickly move past it. I have no one close enough to be greatly affected by my loss. And I wonder if I would even be missed. Hell, my sister, who is the closest person to me, only talks to me when she wants money. There is no one else. No parents, no friends…nothing. What kind of life is this? Normally, you would hear some sort of apology or even some expression of love, but I have neither. I am not sorry. For I can no longer take this pain and sorrow, so why should I be sorry for ending it. And there is no expression of love. Why should I give my love to those who care not for me? I have my reasons. There is no need to go through my fucked up life and give you all the details. But they are there, and they are many. But I needed to leave this behind. If only to prove a point; and my point is simple: there is no point. And, as for last words…I’ll see so many of you in hell.


New Comment

By anonymous at 16,Mar,11 21:48

God I feel the same, everyone is such a fucking ass. There are people to tolerate and people to hate but nobody to like, maybe a few but not many. Sometimes I wish people were nicer. there are the overdramatic people, the people who stays with you then ditches you, the users, the whores/slut/players, the "nice" guy who ends up to be an asshole, the jerks who don't give a shit about you, and the oblivious people who hurt you but does not know, the oblivious people who thought they were good hearted but is really one of these horrible category, people who wished they didn't learn so much of how horrible life is and realized how easily they could die and/or feel pain/sorrow at how life changed so fast at a really young age(me) and bitch and moan, family members who hurt you in a physical/ verbal way, "trolls", wannabes and another category called the good hearted people(very few). These are the people in our lives, we have to live through it "day by day".

By ME at 16,Mar,11 23:28

I will be your friend...

By at 17,Mar,11 12:58

if you feel sad counter it with happiness, if you feel hate counter it with love. all the negative energy inside your mind just take it away and make it dissapear you are stronger than that. just tell yourself that your lucky, other people just doesn't suffer loneliness, example homless people they always need to look for a place to sleep on everyday, they always need to beg for money just to eat and have some food, or worst people in africa look at those people, children can't go to school they don't eat 3 times a day too. your still lucky don't make it any worser from the way i see it just reading your story, your going down the wrong road if you let this bad feeling suppressed you don't be like me =)

By anonymous at 17,Mar,11 16:18

You are right. People are barbaric. What you need to remember is that it's not your fault, it's society, it's the fact that most people are influenced by the wealthiest people. They emulate these peoples lives so they can feel like they are in their fantasies. But the truth is they aren't, they are blind, they are weak, they are inferior, merely ants that are manipulated. Trust me, friends are useless, if you treat people like objects you tend to get ahead.

I have no friends but let me add this. I am a sophomore right now completing a math major and next year I will be working on my masters as an undergrad. I will hopefully end up making lots of money. The reason why I got to this point in the first place is not because of friendship. It's because I took matters into my own hands and I ripped through people who got in my way. If you are looking for friends then my advice for you is to play an MMORPG, a game where people remain anonymous, any personality can be made, in other words you can restart your life in this game. People wont be your friends but they will be friendly.

OR you can take the other route. You can kill yourself. If this is painful then deaths release could be a decent alternative. Even if there is no heaven and hell, wouldn't nothingness be better than pain?

By hmmmmm Impalement at 17,Mar,11 16:21

The last comment has it almost down flat. But I think you should just kill yourself since that's much easier. You see your life is meaningless anyway, these ant's may be influenced by the popular people, but you are influenced by the ants, and that makes you lower than them. That's right. You are lower than those who cause this pain. There is nothing you can do about it. Death will only give people joy, relief, pleasure...
By anonymous at 18,Mar,11 22:32

You are a sad git how can you possibly tell somebody to end there life, nobodys life is meaningless you are either really bitter or just a twisted person none of us have had an easy life some more than others but when you are in that dark place the last thing you need is idiots like you telling people to kill themselfs there is always another day when the last one does'nt always seem so bad it is easy to say stupid comments like you just did but if you have to just have a good long think you will always see or remember something that was'nt so bad and cling onto that memory for dear life for this will keep you sane and eventually you will see that light at the end of the tunnnel I did! take it day by day you will get there

By anonymous at 17,Mar,11 19:58

I am desperatley lonely too. I cry and no one hears and a talk to myself alot. I might occasionaly make myself laugh but then i have streek of hatred flash through me. Talking to Samaritans has helped on occasion when ive been so angry that I feared neughbours might come round through complaint if the noise. The noise of me banging the door or whailing. I think i must be the problem, surely not EVERYONE ELSE?
I keep a cord by my bed no one has seen it, its mine and it makes me feel happy, relaxed as though i have it there just incase.
My sister would miss me. Only because shes had a sister all her life, not because im any great influence on her.
This stuff about the people of Africa or the homeless pisses me off. Everyone has their own problems. And just because some problems are different to otgers doesnt mean they are more or less real. Dont compare yourself with others thats more dangerous. Im 23 female abd accourding to some im really pretty 'oh you should be a model' and think fuck off u fat ugly idiot. I dont know why i feel like that. I have no friends. The ones i talk to surely arent actual friends as they dont no how literally sad i am. My dad died in 2009 seems like it happened a week ago. I miss him alot dispite having had little or no contact with him for the majority of my life. You guys and your misery has helped me so thank you.

By anonymous at 18,Mar,11 02:01

What? See you in hell? Apparently you fail to realize that this IS hell, dude. Wake the fuck up. Life on Earth? This IS fucking hell.

By anonymous at 18,Mar,11 07:35

I have a friend who is just like you.
He wants to have a steady girlfriend, somebody to care for and love.
He does not know what women really want from a relationship, and neither do you.
Love and friendship takes time and caring. Time to listen. True love does not come easy or fast, life is not like in Hollywood movies where all problems are solved in 90 minutes.

By at 18,Mar,11 07:42

"And, as for last words…I’ll see so many of you in hell."

Hello, this is the Devil, the Master of Darkness, the Prince of Pain and the Imperator of the Dark Legions.

My kingdom is full of pirates, bikers and whores. We have gambling, drinking and smoking is allowed.

We do not allow whiny bitches like you. You have to earn your way here or when you show up, we will kick your ass and feed you to Cerberus, our three-headed Hell Hound.
By anonymous at 18,Mar,11 22:38

you are nothing more than a a...h..e you sad git you are only her to feed on peoples misery for your own satisfaction cant you see that people are really hurting you idiot ..... why dont you crawl back into the hole you came out of
By at 19,Mar,11 00:35

You are right, I probably am a sad, pathetic git.

I was just trying to lighten up things a bit. I have been in some critical situations and realized that in order to survive, I needed a darkly sarcastic sense of humor.

(And... I am not an asshole, just a lowly jackass.)

By anonymous at 20,Mar,11 06:07

This website is proof there are many out there which feel very similar. Thank you for sharing, it helps each of us know we're not alone. See the comments, many of us would like a friend just like you. Hang in there. If possible, maybe try and see a counselor or therapist if you think that might help.

By anonymous at 26,Mar,11 12:41

You're right. I see no hope for me. I have NO friends at all. When I say this, it is literal. People may think, well, yea I have a few friends. But truthfully it's ZERO. I've pored my heart to girls only to have them backstab me and talk behind my back to ruin it for me.

By anonymous at 30,Mar,11 21:02

It's sad how the anonymity of an internet forum makes people act like animals...

By sorrow at 07,Apr,11 03:17

you have a point indeed a very true sad one i lost a girl that was a my life and i also was the type of person that was so harmed that wouldnt let anyone get close theres not even one day i dont come back home after work and dont hear her voice but i dont hate her cuz she made me a better person we all feel anger like that but after a while you realize youre not the problem this world is the problem and the people that lacks the courage to love others rather than satisfy their selfish desires youre just a 1 of the few thousands in the billion people this world has....with a good heart. dont give up youre a good person and thats why you suffer, you know for once i wish i could actually meet someone good someone like you

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