I guess its safe to say i hate my fucking life. I hate my friends, and my family especially. My parents are complete assholes. My sister thinks she has just the same power as them, and my brother thinks he better than me, because he can seduce underage girls into having sex with him in parks, all because he can get them drunk or high. I mean come on. Seriously?
Now i can understand that parents were just like us, with the same exact parents as they are now. Blah blah blah. But if anyone ever takes the time to think about it. Why must we continue the cycle? Why must we put our kids in the same bullshit as us? Is it because we feel they must suffer just as bad as we did? Or just because its fun? I don't get it.
But i hate having to do the same fucking rutine every fucking day. It gets old real fast. Having to get up and go to school just to come home and fight with the siblings and the parents. And then leave for an hour come back and start over.
And not only that. I'm 19. Never had a girlfriend, never had sex. Never did anything sexual once, except one time. I met a girl at a party. Hit it off afterwards. And it became known to eachother that we seriously like one another. And one night she gave me my first kiss. I fell hard. Heart always pounding when i knew she was coming over. Whenever she smiled i just wanted to tell her how i really felt. But i stayed strong hoping to make something of it. Then one night as the usual story goes. A so called friend of mine took everything i had away, in an instant.
I'm sure everyone knows how that feels, when your heart sinks to the core of you body and you drop like a sack of potatoes. It fucking sucks. I stayed in bed for two weeks. No water, no food. Lost 20 pounds... And still to this day i havn't recoved. Everyone thinks this shit won't happen to them. And i truely thought it wouldn't. But maybe that's what gave it the extra oomf.
I literaly cry every night wondering why i live sucha horrible life.
Why i lost a chance at true love.
All i want is to be loved by someone special. And to love them as well.
To have friends who aren't fucking retarded. Ones that make the day happy.
instead of miserable. I just want something other than a normal life.
I hate it here. I want to go back and change everything. get good grades, don't make my parents wonder why they decided to bring into this world.
Have the friends i can enjoy being around.
To have a girlfriend that i can spend everyday with and never have to worry
about someone stealing her away.
It doesn't make fucking sense why this shit happens to anyone...
But whatever. No one will learn from this.