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The worst that i thought would never happen.

Posted by Haskins at March 15, 2011
Tags: Attitude  Family  Friendship  Juvenile problems  2011 March

I guess its safe to say i hate my fucking life. I hate my friends, and my family especially. My parents are complete assholes. My sister thinks she has just the same power as them, and my brother thinks he better than me, because he can seduce underage girls into having sex with him in parks, all because he can get them drunk or high. I mean come on. Seriously?
Now i can understand that parents were just like us, with the same exact parents as they are now. Blah blah blah. But if anyone ever takes the time to think about it. Why must we continue the cycle? Why must we put our kids in the same bullshit as us? Is it because we feel they must suffer just as bad as we did? Or just because its fun? I don't get it.
But i hate having to do the same fucking rutine every fucking day. It gets old real fast. Having to get up and go to school just to come home and fight with the siblings and the parents. And then leave for an hour come back and start over.
And not only that. I'm 19. Never had a girlfriend, never had sex. Never did anything sexual once, except one time. I met a girl at a party. Hit it off afterwards. And it became known to eachother that we seriously like one another. And one night she gave me my first kiss. I fell hard. Heart always pounding when i knew she was coming over. Whenever she smiled i just wanted to tell her how i really felt. But i stayed strong hoping to make something of it. Then one night as the usual story goes. A so called friend of mine took everything i had away, in an instant.
I'm sure everyone knows how that feels, when your heart sinks to the core of you body and you drop like a sack of potatoes. It fucking sucks. I stayed in bed for two weeks. No water, no food. Lost 20 pounds... And still to this day i havn't recoved. Everyone thinks this shit won't happen to them. And i truely thought it wouldn't. But maybe that's what gave it the extra oomf.
I literaly cry every night wondering why i live sucha horrible life.
Why i lost a chance at true love.
All i want is to be loved by someone special. And to love them as well.
To have friends who aren't fucking retarded. Ones that make the day happy.
instead of miserable. I just want something other than a normal life.
I hate it here. I want to go back and change everything. get good grades, don't make my parents wonder why they decided to bring into this world.
Have the friends i can enjoy being around.
To have a girlfriend that i can spend everyday with and never have to worry
about someone stealing her away.
It doesn't make fucking sense why this shit happens to anyone...
But whatever. No one will learn from this.


Similar Entries:
my life sucksss November 17, 2009
Married and alone December 21, 2011
Illusions May 11, 2012
Worst Day of My Life February 15, 2011
44 and lost December 18, 2011

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By anonymous at 29,Mar,11 12:28

I can see why you hate your life. Shitty family makes us look for shitty friends and yes even shitty girlfriends. It all starts in this story with with your parents. Evidently they planned a wedding but did not plan a marriage. If they had planned their marriage they would have realized how much growing up they needed to do and then they would not be assholes. My guess is that had their first kid sometime after the honeymoon was over. And my second guess is that they planned to have a baby but did not plan on how to raise a child. Thats fucked up. But it gets worse. At this point you have three people in the house none of which can get along. The parents because they choose to be ignorant and a child that is born ignorant of good family relationship skills. But like I said it gets worse because they now add another child to a situation that is not even suitable for marriage, let alone children! So now we have two adults (sort of) fucking with and fucking over two children who are often fucking over each other as well. So what can you do? Acknowledge it is fucked up and start trying to find people, books, programs etc that will help you see yourself in a better light and help you find and keep good people in your inner circle. Otherwise you are doomed to repeat all or most of this shit all over again and possibly fuck over another generation in the process. This viscous cycle can be broken and it is so worth it. You will always know what shit heads they where, but, for the most part, you wont be a shit head yourself, and for the most part, you will be happy. So in conclusion: think ahead, plan ahead, know your limitations before you enter into any relationships and find a way to raise yourself to the occasion before you take the plunge. It can be done, I have done it, therefore so can you. Good luck!

By anonymous at 30,Mar,11 00:25

I'm so sorry i know how you feel, i'm going through the exact same thing. I'm only 17 and i'v already lost the love of my life because my friends decided that i could not go out with him because he took drugs and was a bit messed up. The thing is i choose him over my friends and now am left with no one, because he just couldnt deal with there shit anymore. becuase of the way i was treated i can not trust anyone, so have very little to do with my family and friends. people have just got to learn how hurtful things they do and don't do can be.

By anonymous at 30,Mar,11 04:38

It really sucks to be a virgin at the age of 19. I am 16 and also am a virgin. Well, I guess your main problem is never had sex, some family problem and lost of true love. Actually that's not that bad. Everyone has their own family is nothing actually you can always hire a prostitute...true least you found your true love. You can always snatch her back. She isn't married isn't it?

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