I feel like the past 4 years God has been using me like a piece of tissue to wipe his ass crack. Why? I didn't do anything to him. In fact, all I did was try to make good decisions, and keep my head up when ish came my way, and keep my eyes on the prize when people were trying to push me down, and even just be a good person and treat people well. But person after person seemingly randomly out of thin air just comes along trying to shit on me like I did something to them. I try to make moves and they go nowhere. When life just feels like too much I just try to keep putting one foot in front of the other, and eventually I may feel a little better, but the facts of life remain the same. People keep telling me that things will get better but then they don't. People keep telling me that I'll get this and that and the other thing or something great will happen or whatever, but it doesn't. I wish they would just shut the hell up with their prophesying I am sick to death of hearing about it. And no I can't be thankful or joyful, about the only thing I have to be thankful for is that I'm not homeless, and yes I do recognize that it could get worse, but it only seems like a ticking time bomb to me, not something to be joyful about. I really don't know what I'm doing wrong. Although now I have come to realize that just because something bad happens doesn't mean I did something wrong. Okay, but to be kept down like this for so so long... what is that all about? I don't get it. As far as I see it, the rest of my life isn't going to be that great anyway, but could you at least allow me to function? Like a normal person? Why do you keep giving me shit?