I know what you mean... Here's my story: I now officially admit that I-AM-A-LOSER. It's bad enough when you have dreams and only fulfill 1/4 of them but being black as well and have no advantage in the workplace makes it even more daunting than necessary. I've tried everything to make it but i'll be quick about this. 1.I was told that I will possibly be a genius, something to look 2, right? 2. 10yrs+ I was then throwned into various homes coz I couldn't get along with my family. 3. 18 and my dad still doesn't give a shit about me - moving on with my life now. 4. In my 20's went back to school to get GED, then decided to get a degree. Ended up on SSI because my life is so fucked. In Feb 2002 unexplainable stuff happened to me and great fear fell on me; I almost died but I fought. It costed me my Religion though. 5. Meet a crazy girl who finishing the sinister work that my mom started by further destroying my life by giving me kids... Kids?! Why couldn't I be like my no good fuckiing brother and can't have any kids; he doesn't know how good he has it. 6. After being homeless, jailed, losing my SSI money and several great paying jobs later I have such a deficit, tuition, living in a trailer that has flats on one side so it leans and is drafty in the winter and can't sleep with myself meanwhile that girl and the kids she gave me all still resides here. the boy don't want to learn in school and I am a loser now. I sleep 2 yards from my fridge, 3 yards from my furnace and 4 yards from my tub and everytime I apply for a job... Positions Filled.
I'll just lie here and wait for my body to die.