I'm a 20 year old female who has had an extremly lonely and terible life. It all started with a cursed childhood everyone hated me, i was always made fun of becuase of my weight and colour. I was teased at school daily and had no friends. I was then molested by relatives at a young age and also raped. This lead me to be anti-social and afraid to get close to people. As I got older I got very attractive but always had a fear of being close to people. My first and only boyfriend and I got together when i was 14 we were together for 5 years. I thought he was the love of my life but I was wrong. At the age of 18 I became pregnant and when he found out he stopped talking to me so I had an abortion and told him that the baby died. The abortion made me become very depressed and I gained 40 pounds. We got back together after the abortion however a year later he began to hate me for no reason at all he would call me names and hit me and I did nothing at all to him. He was the oly person I had in my life and now that he is gone I have beome extremly depressed and all I can do is cry. I know he hurt me but I still want him dispite what he has done to me. I have no one no one at all no friends or family I left my family for him and now I have nothing. I don't know what to do the one person i trusted and loved hurt me and left me all alone with nothing and no one. Everything is falling apart in my life i feel like the biggest idiot for ever trusting him.