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ALONE :(

Posted by anonymous at May 7, 2011
Tags: Childhood  Loneliness  2011 May  Relationship

I'm a 20 year old female who has had an extremly lonely and terible life. It all started with a cursed childhood everyone hated me, i was always made fun of becuase of my weight and colour. I was teased at school daily and had no friends. I was then molested by relatives at a young age and also raped. This lead me to be anti-social and afraid to get close to people. As I got older I got very attractive but always had a fear of being close to people. My first and only boyfriend and I got together when i was 14 we were together for 5 years. I thought he was the love of my life but I was wrong. At the age of 18 I became pregnant and when he found out he stopped talking to me so I had an abortion and told him that the baby died. The abortion made me become very depressed and I gained 40 pounds. We got back together after the abortion however a year later he began to hate me for no reason at all he would call me names and hit me and I did nothing at all to him. He was the oly person I had in my life and now that he is gone I have beome extremly depressed and all I can do is cry. I know he hurt me but I still want him dispite what he has done to me. I have no one no one at all no friends or family I left my family for him and now I have nothing. I don't know what to do the one person i trusted and loved hurt me and left me all alone with nothing and no one. Everything is falling apart in my life i feel like the biggest idiot for ever trusting him.


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Comments:
By anonymous at 15,May,11 11:09

Thanks for taking the time to write this and share your story with us. I hope that things get better for you in the days and months ahead. Are you working right now? Are you in school? Try to channel all your pain into something better. I know from experience it is hard to do but just keep trying one more time. The world needs you. One day soon you will find a better life and one day will have kids of your own. You will make a great mother when that day comes.


By at 15,May,11 19:17

Just try to be your self don't let other people bring you down. Life life is to short. I hope you get better and always remember to love you the way you are. Some day some price will stop by ..


By anonymous at 15,May,11 22:06

This is going to be some tough love: there is a whole world out there for you to become aware of and to learn about. You're living your life based on this one person and he has hurt you physically and mentally. You should work to get connected to your community. You didn't mention school or college. I think an experience like AmeriCorps or Peace Corps would be good for you or Teach for America. These groups can help you build skills and to build ties with the world around you. They do require a college education though. I just think you need to be more aware of this huge world out here and the fact that you need to be a strong independent women, reliant on no one.
By anonymous at 20,May,11 16:38

Ditto.

There are millions of lonely dudes out there, with money, good looks and personality. Go out and find one.


By anonymous at 15,May,11 23:51

So let's recap, this guy abandoned you when you were pregnant, physically and emotionally abuses you and you can't live without him? You're pathetic. Like the other poster said you need to grow into a strong, independent woman who can survive on her own. Go back to your family and lean on them for support. Boyfriends come and go (you will learn this, this guy is only your 1st) but your family loves you unconditionally even if you dissed them to be with this loser. You made a mistake which is ok, you're young and you will make mistakes. Nobody is perfect. But what is unforgivable is to continue to stay in a relationship where you're getting abused. If you don't love yourself how can you expect anyone else to love you? What motivation does this guy have to treat you better? None, because he knows that even if he shits all over you you'll stay with him... He can show you absolutely no respect and you won't stand up for yourself... Sad. You're problem is you have no self esteem. I hope you wake up before its too late.


By anonymous at 16,May,11 02:13

This is crap...


By anonymous at 16,May,11 02:29

Stay Strong and get yourself outta this crap situation. That is the only option you have. Life is too short to be wasted crying like that. God Bless You. :)


By anonymous at 16,May,11 12:16

I love you
By anonymous at 16,May,11 18:37

huh?
By anonymous at 10,Mar,12 13:02

??????


By anonymous at 16,May,11 21:14

Your awesome 100 times stronger than I am. Love yourself always your beautiful inside and out. Your stronger then you know. Now you have to do one of the hardest things possible and forgive yourself (even though those things weren't your fault), God does, I do; now its your turn. Pray alot and try some self-help books (feel the fear and do it anyways is good.. Alot more discussed than fear). Time heals all wounds and don't be afraid to cry. And remember not all of us guys are jerks some of us are gentlemen.


By anonymous at 17,May,11 13:43

jeez ur suckh a betch i h8 u lol ur so conceeted maybe h tyou should learn to bnot be a bnitch and spell right lolzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz z to the maz xxsxxx
By anonymous at 17,May,11 17:59

You don't know how to spell either moron. Is that English? Shut the fuck up you retarded asshole.
By anonymous at 20,May,11 08:55 Fold Up

Get your goddamned IQ checked, it's -186, motherfucking bitch. Why can't you just go fucking fuck your entire family? I bet you don't even have a fucking sexual organ...just bald and shiny, no hairs. Nothing. Fucking pathetic low life piece of fucking cunt-shit twat. Asshole.


By anonymous at 18,May,11 15:24

Things can bet better. Stay strong, and good luck.


By anonymous at 21,May,11 17:22

u could hang with me im handesome and funny and will love u if u love me i fall very easily do u live in knoxville? my email is danthemansjs@gmail.com knoxville tennessee
By anonymous at 01,May,13 20:13

yeah fuck you, sorry nick oposted this
By anonymous at 25,May,13 01:45 Fold Up

damn nick! i didnt post this shit my friennd was doin a prank and did this like 30 tims tring to make me looklike a pussy la douchebag
By anonymous at 25,May,13 01:46 Fold Up

nick, how the hell do i remove this mnick posted this shit


By anonymous at 28,May,11 00:50

You display everything all human beings do(fear).If you stay afraid of being something other then what you are you will always be stuck under thier thumb.I hate hearing about bad things that happened to anyone and i am not sorry.I did not do it.Im just me and your you.By the way who do you want to be because I think your capable of being any body you choose to be if your willing to fight for it.goodluck I know you will make it.


By anonymous at 10,Jun,11 11:44

gg


By anonymous at 10,Jun,11 11:48

hey dear jus relax,have faith in urself n god,dont go behind him,he is not of ur level at all,u r asuperior /strong person..millions of people are there..to do frnship ..remember strength is life,,god bless u.
By anonymous at 10,Jun,11 11:48

er


By anonymous at 12,Jun,11 13:32

I feel sorry to hear your story... Life is too tough for you alone to overcome this kind of situation... You're 20 and you still young, nothing i can say to help you, just want to say, we all love you... stay strong, be patient and pray God for help... May one day, your will find your life and happiness...


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