Yea, I’m a 17 year old in high school about to be 18 in August. 10th grade I consider my golden grade, because I finally got a girlfriend, I had a lot of friends to hang with, I finally lost my virginity. But once summer started, she dumped me; she never gave me an exact reason but multiple reasons. I never got a clear reason. It my broken hearted stage, I did one of my biggest regrets; I slit my wrist with box cutter blade because "everyone did it to feel better" and I thought it would get rid of the pain. I look down at the three cuts and realized how open the wounds were. I could see tissue and blood dripping everywhere. I didn't know whether to lie in the bathtub and bleed out or to tell my parents or stop the bleeding. I managed to stop the bleeding and hid the scar (which took a little over a year to heal) from people who I don't want to see. I "loved" this girl so I called her but she never answered. She left me a voicemail when I was asleep to tell me she would call me in a week and talk about our status. I didn't sleep, or eat, or talk/text anyone, just waited for the call. Later that week, I got on Myspace (when it was still popular) and saw her default picture of her kissing her ex on the cheek. This crushed me. I became dependent on this friend I’ve met but never seen in person because she lived 5 hours away. We got close and I told her that was in love with her, and she said she was in love with me. We did meet and she was great. We had lots of fun together, and we started dating later that month. Once school started, I saw my ex again. I was in conflicting emotions with her, I still loved her, but my current gf was in love with me, and she went through hell most of her life. I didn't want to fuck her over but I wanted my ex back. I constantly got mad at her for no reasons; I was trying to get her to break up with me so I could try again with my ex. But then my ex started dating my so called "Best Friend," (we'll call him Tool). I got even more hearted broken because he was my best friend and she was my most fallen for ex. We stopped being friends. But later that year, Tool and my ex broke up. I got happy but felt trapped with my current gf whom I made so happy. We had a rough year, each time my ex was around, I loved my current gf. But whenever I saw my ex, I wanted her back. My current gf and I broke up 4 times over the course of our year and a half relationship. Tool started dating my ex again and I was still a little heartbroken. I smoked pot at times to numb my pain and it worked. My gf broke up with me for the 5th time this January. I was relieved but when I saw her at my prom, I fell in love with her again. I wanted back. I told her we were meant to be but she said “no.” When I asked her if she loved Tool, she said “yes.” I got fucked up and still am because this happened last Saturday. I currently want to die or smoke pot but I can’t because I have to be clean for an upcoming physical. I want her back so fucking much and I wish she wouldn’t date him because Tool is only going to use her for his sick pleasures. All girls he dated, he has cheated on. I want her more than anything in the world and this really kills me inside. I fucking hate my life and want to die. .. but writing this actually makes me feel a little better. | |
GET HELP!
I waited until I was 20 yrs old.
Priorities, man. You gotta get that straight!
Plenty o'fish in the sea. You'll meet someone else, trust me : YOU'RE 17!
Haven't had a date in years. I'm 35. I'll die alone, man!
I don't have a terminal illness, roof over my head, car is running.
That's a good life........I'm ready to die, now.
Canada is a nice country? How come that with a pop. of 33 million people, we have the same suicide rate (per capita)
than the US.
Women are bigots, hypocritical and self-absorbed all over the planet i guess!
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