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my shitty life

Posted by anonymous at May 19, 2011
Tags: Appearance  Attitude  2011 May  Meaninglessness  Money  Society

I have had the unfortunate distinction to be born fat and ugly. I am also a girl. It is true what they say about "everything you learn in life you learn in kindergarten." I learned that fat, ugly girls have no place in this society. I am not even one of the "lucky" ones that has some kind of talent, whether it be, brains, artistic ablity, or just a pretty face on a chubby body. I have no natural talent for anything. I know there are guys out there who feel like they are ugly, but there is nothing compared to being an ugly girl. At least guys are taken at face value whether they turn out to be gay or straight or whatever. But a "hot chick" still isn't considered hot unless she has altered her appearance with make-up. It really sucks to be a girl. There is no amount of make-up that will make my face pretty.

Kids I went to school with would have nothing to do with my because I wasn't pretty or athletic or talented in some other way. I was never seen wearing the right clothes either, because I got my sister's hand-me-downs. It was a really lonely childhood with no friends. My only friends in life have been my pets.

I spent my childhood being compared to my older sister. Mother would always say "that's nice honey, but look what Sister did!" or simply, "why can't you be more like Sister?" It was not the motivator that my mother obviously thought it would be, because why would I continue to try if I knew I would never succeed? Needless to say, I have never had a good relationship with her.

This all leads me to where I am right now. I am single and 37. Never been married, hell, I've never even had a BF. The only kinds of jobs I have ever been able to get are crappy, low paying, seasonal or temporary jobs. I am the only sibling in my family to acquire a post high school education. Nothing fancy, just a two year degree (AAS) in accounting at a community college, and I still can't get a decent paying job. So all you suckers out there who think higher education is the answer, I say it is a waste of time and money. Any place I ever worked where there was an opportunity to get promoted (and those places were very few) I was always shot down. Can't have ugly people moving up the ladder, I guess. My best tax year was $25K and that was a couple years ago. I've never made enough money or had steady employment to rent a place. I know I will never be a home owner and I will never retire. I can't even seem to get a job at Walmart.

I tried to kill myself a few years ago and obviously I failed at that as well. I am a true believer that life is pointless. There is no reason for my existence. I'm not smart enough at math and science to be a "rocket" scientist and change the world by curing some disease or inventing something that will change the world. I am not talented enough to go on any talent show and sing or dance my way to success. And I'm not pretty enough to have successful men tripping over themselves lining up to be my spouse. I have nothing. I am nothing. If I had a gun I would end it right now.


Votes:


Similar Entries:
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Comments:
By anonymous at 30,May,11 07:53

Ok, well your post is rather depressing. But I want to make a couple of points. Number one I don't know what you look like obviously, but I doubt you're as hideous as you make yourself out to be. Mostly anyone can improve their looks by losing weight, putting on makeup and getting some decent clothes. Those are things you can change about yourself if you wanted and I would almost guarantee some improvement. Sure, you may never be a super model but you can at least be a decent looking woman. Some women just have to work a little harder that's all.

Number two regarding employment, the economy sucks big time right now for many, may people. But eventually things will improve. Is there something you want to do, like become an accountant? You won't get there tomorrow, but you can look into what qualifications you need to get hired and get the necessary training. I would be thinking long term right now, because as a single woman in her late 30's its time to start saving for retirement. Nobody is going to take care of you but you. So you need a plan to make more money.

I used to make a good living; this economy has really hurt me but I won't give up. I believe in myself and I think that's one of your problems, you have very little self esteem. Of course nobody is going to believe in you if you don't believe in yourself. Self confidence and self love are important to success in life. Self pity won't get you very far. Make a plan and start making changes!
By anonymous at 31,May,11 01:32

Have you ever looked at the beauty inside you...If you are around people that just look at your outer..than they are not people with whom are worth an opinion...see your focus is on what people think of you...You should focus on what you feel about yourself...I think if you look hard enough you will find your God given talent...God gives us all gifts..try sharing your gifts..there is more beauty in that..Beauty faids with age, no one will remain beautiful outside...only beauty inside remains...so my beauty..get real with yourself..than you will find happiness..I promise..


By anonymous at 30,May,11 11:01

I am a straight male. I believe that girls have it differently than men due to them having to live in extremes. A woman's life can be extremely easy if she is attractive, or extremely hard if she is not. They cannot control their destiny as much as men since their status is determined by issues that are not as controllable. Men could get great jobs and make a lot of money and be very ugly and still get respect. Loneliness most of the time affects women more than men as well. Men get lonely too, but not like women. Shy women have it better than shy men though since if the woman looks good, the man will approach her. The shy man will most likely be using Rosy Palmer if he is too shy.
By anonymous at 31,May,11 23:44

Thats a lie and total bullshit. No man ever approaches anyone fat or skinny. men only like whores. men never try for anything because they get the jobs, they get the money they outsource all the jobs to china they run the filthy scum planet and make us suck their dicks for money and support. If you wait for a guy to approach you fat or skinny youll be dead, in a fucking in gutter. Men dont like shy women, thats buillshit. Absolute fucking bullshit. Men are fucking fags and will never try for anything, they pay for sex thats all they fuck whores thats all. So when I meet a fucking fag easy to pussy whip guy that wont beat me up then I control him and get free room and baord and he can buy me some liquor so I can drink my worthless life away. I hate you all with a passion I cannot even describe with your scum words.
By anonymous at 02,Jun,11 16:16

You sound like a 450 pound women who missed her Prozac and lives in the upper midwest.
By anonymous at 04,Jun,11 03:33 Fold Up

That is so true anonymous 30,May,11 11:01.
By anonymous at 10,Aug,11 10:44 Fold Up

you should be publishing a newsletter or something every single month.

In that span of a paragraph of less than 100 words you basically summed up everything that makes up the difference between men and women in the world today.

Congrats


By ravenheir89 at 31,May,11 00:23

its so hard for me to read a story like yours. Im in a similar situation as you,in terms of hating life and people and myself.But in a slightly different way. For me i have always been someone who is not at all likeable no matter what i do. Though people dont really agree with me, ive always thought im the ugliest girl in the planet, i dnw if its something psychological or its just true. Low self esteem,confidence, no bf either (im 21),social life sucks to the core, no friends, biased and unjust family..it just slowly pulls ur life out of you. I also felt like giving up and ending life alot of times, but i dont want to make that mistake. Now what i can only do is pray that God will for once, make life easier for me, and bless my life as how he did with other fortunate people. I just dont and can never understand life. But what i know is that life is VERY VERY UNFAIR. F*** to all those who says it isnt.They have yet to go thru what we go thru. My advice to you is, dont make a stupid decision. Pray and believe u'll at least come across something that'll make ur life better. And know that there's other people out there who r also in ur shoes and that ure not alone. All the best for ur future and dont give up. =)
By anonymous at 05,Jun,11 00:27

Your reply is interesting,i dont know how is it like for a girl to experience like you said "Low self esteem,confidence,no bf at an age mature and appropriate enough to start a real relationship,no social life.." but i definitely experience all those as a guy!Just like everything you said i just felt depression and hopelessness.As oppose to most other description frm other posts here talking about their weight and appearences,actually im quite confident about my natural looks as a guy but thats the thing,like my personality i tend to dress up kinda geeky and with that i have very low self esteem from the stereotype that girls only dig men with gd looks and money!But hey i also believe that this way God can help me find a partner who can click with me through same interest and personality!


By anonymous at 31,May,11 01:09

Ok you say and know you're fat and face it, being fat suks. Nobody likes fat people. They stink and take up too much space being loud and real bad looking. I'm not saying this to hurt your feelings, you say so yourself that society hates your fat guts. Men don't like fat women they want to fuck skinny women period. You have a hard thing to get throughunless you lose weight.
By anonymous at 31,May,11 22:58

lol lose weight? big boned ppl or ppl that have a really slow metabolism will beg to differ, why do u think thers a big market for weight problems, because its hard to control and many times virtually impossible.
By anonymous at 31,May,11 23:39 Fold Up

oh wow a cock sucking asshole has spoken.. signed the skinny chick no-one gives a fuck about either because people only like wealthy looking people they can suck dry. I hate the fucking human race. I fucking swear to God I hope you die in a car accident.
By anonymous at 04,Jun,11 03:39 Fold Up

Not all men like skinny women. Some men like women with "meat on their bones".


By anonymous at 31,May,11 23:37

Let me tell you something, I was/am skinny and decent face or whatever and people dont treat me good. People care only about if a person is a good dresser and a good bullshitter.. If you can shoot the shit and dress nice, then everybody loves you, thats all there is to it. Noone cares about a persons soul, and if youre skinny then, guess what? Youre still not good enough, because your tits are too small, and you need tit implants. The people that are hot are the people who are artificial... always, even if you consider dentistry, which is another thing, if someone has perfect teeth they are better than everybody else too. I have fucking big feet and people have looked at me like I was shit..people love looking at others like they're shit. If you notice women like to walk beside you, its because they are trying to look thin. THe human race sucks, and trust me, it doesn't matter how you look, when the look people want is faker than shit. If you look wealthy and are well spoken and have a million dollar smile people will be around you because theyll think your have something to suck dry.
By anonymous at 01,Jun,11 07:33

this is so the truth.


By anonymous at 31,May,11 23:58

You don't even have to lose weight to get a boyfriend. My best friend is very overweight and always dated Black, Mexican, and Middle Eastern men. They are less shallow than Whites.

She's now married to a great, sweet Mexican guy who treats her very well. Meanwhile, I who am skinny, funny, and dress well am married to a big, ugly jerk with no job.

Don't forget that confidence is attractive. So is a sense of humor. You can be cool, funny, smart, and sexy no matter what you look like.

Have you looked for any overweight less attractive guys?
By anonymous at 01,Jun,11 00:23

Yeah black guys.. mmmmm like frigging mj used to look like oh how fine would that be.... So hot.


By at 01,Jun,11 12:06

seems like there's some humor in you. everyone likes a comedian. there's open mic nights everywhere. and hey, if you bomb? seems like your story might hve given you some thick skin. and i'll admit im not fat or ugly, but i have always been really weird...really weird. it's hard not to be who you are. i hope you find a happiness, and it is always devastating to me to hear about suicide. i was going to do it at some point but got a few good friends and now we all have a great time together.


By anonymous at 05,Jun,11 05:57

The whole 'I'm ugly' thing is only getting to you because you're LETTING it get to you, there are more important things in life. You wanna know the secret to a happy, more care-free life? Stop giving a shit about what every sad little loser you come across thinks of you, they're probably just as insecure as you.


By anonymous at 30,Jun,11 09:00

man..your story is just like mine..! Srsly..i am fat ugly and talentless too.....atleast consider that you are not alone.....i hate life too...i have a sister whose extremely pretty has long hair and is thin and is fair...while i am sooo ugly...fat...wheatish skinned....but unfortuntely i am alive..!:((((


By anonymous at 07,Jul,11 21:21

ugh! WHY ARE THERE SO MANY SAD CHUBBY CHICKS??? HELLO, im a nice romantic and loving chubby chaser RIGHT HERE! i just want to find a nice geeky chubby girl that i can make happy without them ending up trying to "pussy whip" me, and take advantage of my loving nature. i want to find the one i will one day marry, and have kids with. im responsible, short -- but still good looking, loving, and i actually WANT to make my girl feel like a princess because it makes me happy to make my special girl happy. but oh no "im soooo lonely, and nobody cares." I CARE! i hate seeing posts like this because im thinking to myself every time "ugh, please stop being sad, you make me just want to hold you and cuddle all your sadness away. please dont feel alone because ill hold you!"
please hit me up if you ever feel alone omegamarcusman@gmail.com
By anonymous at 03,Aug,11 22:43

awee i totally agree with this guy, i am chubby,geeky,nice girl. and i bet this person does not look as bad as she thinks, ur pretty inside and out i bet :D


By anonymous at 03,Oct,11 02:56

i wish i had a gun id shoot myself.....im such a loser i often fantasize how much ppl wouldnt give a crap id go n plead a cop explain how he wouldnt even feel guilty hed no im much happier feeling nothing


By anonymous at 16,Nov,11 13:44

In all honesty I dont see anything wrong with your pets being your best friend...my dog is my best friend, really my only friend.

And I can trust him to always put me first, he is always going to be happy to see me, NEVER EVER steal from me (unless its some food he pooches) and always want to be around me just to be around me.

Sure he will pass away long before me, but I will always remember him and rescue another dog and have the same relationship with them.

Dogs are the closest we get to heaven in this life. Embrace them as much as possible.


By anonymous at 31,Dec,11 05:30

One word = GYM.

You only have yourself to blame for being a fatty! People saying it's a disease are just fucking LAZY. When you lose weight it will give you the confidence you need to get your game on. Until the. Your stuck blogging to even more fat idiots.

Sort out your weight and I PROMISE you'll sort out the rest!


By anonymous at 15,Apr,12 07:31

I'll talk to you if you want to. janetlovesyou7@gmail.com


By anonymous at 22,Apr,12 18:34

I can totally relate, my life is practically identical to yours. Something has to turn out right for people like us.


By anonymous at 16,May,12 05:29

Just wait until you are OLD, fat and ugly


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By Osei at 20,Jul,15 18:16

Stilts:“[Danger]’s spreading this rumor that she’s prnagnet by Ray, so she obviously is crying for a lot of attention…To me, this whole thing is a big publicity stunt. I don’t feel like she’s gonna go the whole nine months if she is prnagnet. I feel like something’s mysteriously going to happen that makes her not prnagnet anymore. The girl, I think she has issues.”I TOTALLY AGREE! I THINK IT'S A HUGE PUBLICITY STUNT!I also don't think Danger is as dangerous as the show has made her out to be! Do you know she is a professional dog groomer? How many psycho dog groomers are out there? That type of job takes patience and most dog groomers are big animal lovers which usually makes them kind people! The tatoo on her face also is a representation of her artistic side (not that she was in prison,lol) and her love of tigers!Who knows though? Remember in the first I Love Money that rumor had it from the beginning that Hoopz won and that proved true!I'm kinda rooting for Danger though!


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