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Dying alone / my life sucks.

Posted by anonymous at May 22, 2011
Tags: Loneliness  2011 May

Well, where to begin. Here I am spending my weekend writing this, big indicator on how much my life sucks. I am forty, single, no girlfriend. My life was cursed from the day I was born, my innocence taken from me aka being molested by a trusted family member. I have a scar on my face from a childhood accident. I have very few friends, no girls ever show any interest in me, I was always the boring guy out of the group, I have the nice guy syndrome, you know the line, your a nice guy, or I like you as a friend. That was in high school, now I don't even get that far. How much worse can it get? I tried an online dating site, blew 80 something bucks for a few months of service, never got one email from the opposite sex. I tried going to church for a while, hoping to meet new people, but never really felt like I fit in. Churches are geared to meet the needs of married people and every activity seems to revolve around married couples and familys. They had no activities for singles and felt out of place when it came to church events. All I ever wanted out of life was a little slice of happiness, a girlfriend to spend time with. As I get older it looks as if I will end up dying alone. How sad is that? I have some good qualities, I maintain a job, I am financially responsible, I drive a nice car!, but it seems those aren't the qualities girls are looking for. When does it get any better, sometimes I wish I could just sleep and dream and never wake up, I am totally miserable with this life. I hate life.


Votes:


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Comments:
By anonymous at 04,Jun,11 07:11

When you did online dating did you e-mail women on the site? Because as the man you have to be the agressor and the first to approach a woman. If you're too shy to make the first move you'll never get anywhere. If you sat back and waited for someone to message you first, no wonder why you got nothing. Have you tried singles events in your area? I would say approach as many women as often as possible until you become very comfortable with it, whether it be online or at the mall. But you must make the first move. You'll get rejected a lot but that comes with the territory and that really shouldn't bother you, as long as you try. Plentyoffish is a free online dating website you may want to try.

Personally, the qualities you list are the qualities I'm looking for. A man with a job, his own place and a car are very good traits! Plus I'm assuming you have no children, another plus! You have to have more confidence and put yourself out there though. Are you a good dresser; women are shallow and that might be something that's holding you back as well. Hopefully you're chivalrous and don't mind paying for dates, because cheapness is another very big turnoff! That's probably the number one reason why I'm still single. Most guys these days are very cheap and expect the woman to pay half on dates... losers. Guys today have no clue how to actually court a lady. So if you just put a little more effort in, say roses on a date, you'll impress a real woman. Its the little things that really mean a lot.
By anonymous at 07,Jun,11 23:15

women are blood suckers.
By anonymous at 15,Jun,11 20:30 Fold Up

You're single because you're a bitch that expects more than you deserve.
By anonymous at 10,Mar,12 14:36

and you're a dick
By Chicago at 12,May,12 22:20 Fold Up

You're right


By anonymous at 04,Jun,11 17:52

I voted that your situation sucks...but I feel confident you can succeed.

A facial scar may or may not matter. There are GREAT surgeons out there who can remove scars very well. I've seen it done. My friend had quite a scar from a baseball injury and it was remedied quite well.

Where to meet women? I have some suggestions. Try walking around craft stores or book stores or grocery stores. I'm married and not very good-looking (in my opinion) but I've gotten "the look" from some women in grocery stores as silly as that sounds. Linger and look. Try to start "innocent" conversations but don't press too hard because most women are naturally skittish. Don't stare because, if they see you, it freaks them out. Women are a lot like cats. You have to approach them on their terms.

Conversation is key. At least make them think you are interested in what they have to say...even if you aren't. Men and women are completely different creatures. I'm convinced a woman would rather hook up with a woman in a man's body.

Be careful...there are a LOT of useless women out there. The kind that will spend all your money and stay home and eat bon-bons.
By anonymous at 05,Jun,11 10:22

"Women are a lot like cats. You have to approach them on their terms." Haha, that's so funny but true.


By anonymous at 04,Jun,11 20:07

You should have watched more Oprah while she was on the air.

Attitude is EVERYTHING. Did you ever hear the women who electrocuted herself and they had to amputate both arms? She went on to be a fitness instructor, got married, had kids and changes diapers, poors milk, and drives a car with her feet.

I don't feel sorry for you. I think you are looking for a quick fix, like a girlfriend will fix your negative attitude.

What do you mean churches are geared towards families? Not the ones I go to. There are way more single groups nowadays. There are single camps. There are weekly single get togethers. You sound like you give up easily.

I would imagine that self-defeating attitude comes from being sexually abused as a child. You are not alone. Sexual abuse steels our innocence, that is undeniable. But you have to work at overcoming it. You have to work to fix and repair your hurt and pain and past issues. No girlfriend will every do that for you. Maybe for a few weeks...but you are stuck with yourself forever.

Go out and be involved. Find a hobby that you can be engrossed in that takes you mind off of your loneliness.

Give back. You clearly have health and resources. Look at the glass half full, not half empty.
By anonymous at 06,Jun,11 22:46

Churches are geared more toward families. Have you seen the singles groups? They are either college-aged people or senior citizens.


By anonymous at 06,Jun,11 17:18

You just need the gospel of Jimi Hendrix. Buy a cd...any...let it turn...listen...become one with the music...forget all this other bullsh*t...you don't need a woman to be happy...you would be just as miserable, if not more, with the typical woman...just more problems...life would revolve around her...you would not get a word in...you would lose your money and your sanity...now for Jimi? He will take care of you...everything you wanted to know is between those strings...lose yourself and gain the world, my man.


By anonymous at 07,Jun,11 16:09

you have a job! who cares about a stupid girlfriend. even the beautiful girls smell and fart and stink. your not missing out on anything. you have a job! do you realize how bad the economy is? genius!


By anonymous at 11,Jun,11 21:35

hey I am so sorry for how you feel..I wanna be your friend..


By anonymous at 13,Jun,11 14:32

Jesus suck it up and stop feeling so sorry for yourself.life sucks get over it toughen up,I know be a man ,look upon it as a challenge beat the bastards,I have been there you have to make the change not others!!!!!


By anonymous at 21,Jun,11 05:07

Don't give up on church because nothing matters more than God. Next time you go though, go in search of God alone and he will provide a way for your faith to grow, working through different people to help you. Look for a bible accurate church as well.


By anonymous at 26,Jun,11 20:56

That's funny what you say about sleeping and not waking up. I have the same thought sometimes. I agree with the other poster who said look for foreign women. That's what I will probably end up doing myself. Do something different in life man. Start eating healthy, join an mma outfit etc. I'm still stuck in college, wish I had a j o b and a car ha.


By anonymous at 26,Jun,11 23:07

Read books about pick up and dating. it will definitely help a shit load.


By anonymous at 29,Jun,11 05:23

"My life was cursed from the day I was born..."
End of need to comment on this post.
Can't change a view point of a person that has already admitted Defeat.
better luck next time.
...or maybe....
play this game and try and win, instead of quiting before the start.
Think I am harsh? go tell your "My life was cursed from the day I was born" bullshit story to a person with MS or was born a Dwarf, or blind or...(see where this goes?)


By anonymous at 05,Oct,11 21:59

You are fine and more than fine,,, forget about the abuse we all are abused ... f**** them all.
People have given you great advises, see also this website meetup groups.. in your area.. just be yourself.. don't be desperate about meeting women.. relationship or i say honeymoon time dies soon.. Enjoy your freedom, go to gym, work and have a hobby and go this meetup groups..


By at 14,Nov,11 14:05

We would get along very well. Life Suck and Dying Easy. I stay sleeping all day sometimes. I dont blame everyone for the life i live though. I dont know why i cant get the balls just to kill myself and end it. Just too easy! I am also looking for something else, and its the misery that keeps me motivated. But f*ck you when you say you have a job and have a car. Also im in debt that i cant pay back, like the US. So its true that happiness doesnt come from material things as you have some things that i would like but not even your happy so why would i want it. Its ok though i can understand sometimes we just need to vent and post stupid comments like these to keeps us going. And f*ck the people that say that they understand exactly what were going through because there not me and never will be me. And stop giving advice on what to do to help us, you ignorant child, just listen.

One love. Out.


By anonymous at 25,Nov,11 19:00

Find a personal trainer. Get fit, bulk up with some muscles, upgrade your style, wardrobe. May sound superficial but women will definitely take a second look at your. When you look muscular, you will feel sexy, You will feel better about yourself, your confidence will increase.

See, you are already responsible; you have job, you financially stable etc. So it must be the confidence factor lacking within you and women pick up on that. It doesn't hurt to say no to women.


By anonymous at 26,Dec,11 17:13

Nearly same problems well said friend


By anonymous at 21,Feb,12 04:15

LOL Hollywood needs to stop lying to men. Your car doesn't really matter. If you want to buy a woman, try a prostitute.


By anonymous at 08,Apr,12 03:44

I share your same women problems. It seems us "nice" guys are doomed to live alone. I doubt my life will be any different when I'm your age, some of us are destined for single life.

I have those same thoughts about escaping everything life related. I wish I had some encouraging words for you...but unfortunately I agree...life sucks.


By anonymous at 13,Jul,12 15:32

Please read the
"The Power of Positive Thinking"
by Dr. Norman Vincent Peale

you can also ger a short version "Positive
Thinking 2012: Redeiscover the Power of Positive Thinking" from Guideposts website

By the way, not to put down Nick Vujicic, but if he can get married, you can too.


By anonymous at 25,Aug,12 08:38

Go up to a woman and ask her if she 'll fuck you


By anonymous at 30,Mar,13 05:06

A year later... how goes it now, almost a year down the track??
Life is tough... too hard for some.
But obviously death is harder - and we carry on.

Your story is bad for sure, maybe worse than mine... maybe not, certainly I would not swap. But the angst does not FEEL any less.

I have over a half-century on this planet and not much of it as I would have planned that is for sure. To do it again.. to change the past? of course! Who would not?

Scars?? Emotional ones are the most debilitating. Fix them first.

good luck.


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