I'm 53, divorced now for 5 years after being married to the woman I loved for 27 years. I am having trouble dating now because of trust issues and finding a good woman because I have gained weight and often get rejected. I find I have to settle for women that aren't right for me just so I can go out on a date. I am also dealing with insulin dependent diabetes. I come home from work so tired but yet can't sleep at night.
As a kid I was physically and emotionally abused by my parents, boys in school tried to beat me up everyday so I had to run home and hope they wouldn't catch me.
I don't have many friends, I live alone, I feel isolated, I feel unwanted. This has led to feelings of depression and sadness.
Now that my kids are married, they have their own lives. My daughter is too busy for her father.
I have always been a good man and have tried to help others when I could. My ex has remarried and her life has moved on and she is happy. I still miss her. I know I should be angry that she cheated on me. I just want her to be happy. I only wish her the best. She left me because my diabetes has caused me to be impotent and unable to get an erection or have sex.
I have no joy in my life, no purpose, no direction. I still live in the same house that my ex and I shared when we were married. I know I should sell the house and move. The divorce has also caused financial problems and I am nearing backruptcy because of my debt. I also know that if I sell my house I'll never be able to buy another house because of my poor credit history.
Mostly I'm sad because I'm alone, without my life partner and best friend.
I am nearing the end of my hope...I'm growing tired and don't know how much fight to survive I have left. I need some love and hope in my life or I will be unable to go on much longer.
I hang on because of my kids. They are the best part of my life.
I know people have it much worse than me...I was just wishing life would be a little happier for me as I get older.
Maybe someone will read this and understand my pain and perhaps will offer me some hope.