I wont spill my whole life story but I will say, I've made a lot of mistakes. And, I am now 26 living with my mother- we're pretty much homeless, we're staying in her ex husbands house (ex because when I was 12 mom caught him watching me after I'd get out of the shower and dry off in my room) pretty sad when that's the only place you have left to go to. My mom has an 8th grade education and extremely low confidence, so she's been at the same minimum wage job for 3 years- they also have no insurance. She also slipped outside of work and broke 6 ribs this february and had numerous over night hospital stays due to fluid filling her left lung- but of course we found out that we lost the case so no money is coming.
Then there's me married at 18 husband went to jail when I was 20, got out when I was 25, by that time I had a decent enough job as an EMT/Security guard for Mitsubishi in IL. I left him and my car that his mother co signed on (because I had to file bankruptcy at 21 due to his accident and all the money HE (we) owed) and my decent job. Came back home and it's basically been **** since. No money, no jobs, because I moved so much when he'd change prisons so obviously it looks bad. And I recently got a WONDERFUL job part time at Walmart being a cashier (no offense to anyone who does it, I am). But, it will not pay the bills. And not only do I have to get myself on track. but my mother is co dependent and depending on me to get us out of her, get me a car, get us a place and so on.
At this point, I'm not nearly as optimistic as I used to be. It seems everything is falling apart at the seams and I have no idea where to start. Which si where weight loss came in. I was hoping if I got better on the outside jobs would come easier, they haven't yet.
School is out of the question, I still owe for my EMT schooling. And, I refuse to take out more loans until those are paid off, God knows what they are by now.
I thought I was alone, my situation is embarrassing, my life is embarrassing, living with a pedo is very strange and I can't share it with many people. And just recently I've started dealing with the child sexual abuse I had for 10+ years of my life. | |
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