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you think you got it bad?

Posted by anonymous at July 31, 2011
Tags: Abuse  Childhood  2011 July  Life Story

I am honestly to the point of thinking about suicide. When I was born my mother nor my father wanted me, they would let me (a 2 month old baby) lay there is my own vommit, shit, and piss for hours. Then when I was 2 my father started abusing me. He used to punch me in the stomach as hard as he could and laugh about it. He beat me with extension cords, fly swatters, and anything that was within reach. Then my grandmother took me away from him. But thats where the mental abuse started. Her husband didn't and still dont like me. He made me feel like shit for everything I had ever done. He made me feel like a burden to everyone. Like I was worthless. Then when I was 5 my uncle started molesting me. I told but everyone thought I was making lies and didn't believe me. Then when I was 8 my mother moved to the town we was living in. And her being my mother I wanted to have a relationship with her. I was too young to know she was no good, I just knew she was my "mommy". It went good for a few months until she started shooting me up with meth. She used to tell her friends right before she did it to watch how I twitched. She and her druggie friends thought it was hallarious. So that started my drug addiction. By the age of 12 I was addicted to meth, heroine, and cocaine. I was also an alcoholic. Then when I was still 12 I got really fucked up and ended up molesting my younger cousin, which I know was my fault and I admit that. At the age of 13, I was sentenced to 4 years in juvie. The time went by fast, I learned alot and I was hopeful to start a better life, I was clean and sober and I was happy at first when I got out. Then the sex offender registry made it impossible for me to get a job. So I decided to go to college. But when people found out I was a sex offender they started giving me so much shit that I had to drop out. So without a job that put me in default with my student loan. So now I am not able to go back to school until my loan is paid, which isn't going to happen cause I cant get a job. Well then I got married. She already had a daughter, then my daughter came along, she is 1 now. My brain is so fried that I can't even remember her birthday. Anyways my wife and I was together for almost 2 years. Until I started talking about TRYING to join the marines. Then she told me that if I got in she hoped I got deployed and got killed. So thats where my marrage ended. So now I have a new girlfriend whom I really love. With all my heart. But I cant provide for her or her baby. On top of that she is pregnant, but it's not mine. She got pregnant right before we got together. When we found out her due date it crushed me.


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Comments:
By anonymous at 17,Sep,11 17:06

You poor soul. May God grant you serenity and keep you safe.


By anonymous at 18,Sep,11 09:16

I hope things work out for you. I think its a shame what your parents did to you and they will pay for it when they stand before God. I know things like this happen and for noone to believe you, that's the real crime. people need to listen to children and investigate wether they think its true or not. My heart goes oout to you and I hope you find it in your heart to forgive yourself for what you did to your cousin, you, at the time where so messed up you did what was done to you, at least you admitted it and are trying to get on the right track.


By anonymous at 26,Oct,11 18:30

A 12 year old addicted to coke,meth, and herion? Got so wasted it "made" you molest your cousin? I'm calling bullshit on this story.
By at 29,Jan,12 16:31

shut up idiot of course that cud happen get ur facts right ur just messed up to think some1 can make stuff like that up!!!!


By anonymous at 29,Oct,11 05:23

Good for you to admit you did wrong straight up, I believe you. you are a good person no matter what as long as you continue to seek the light. Go find God, thats what I did and I never looked back from my abusive drug alcohol "other" life


By anonymous at 11,Nov,11 18:43

meditation might help DONT GO TOCOUNSELING IT DOES NO HELP AT ALL


By anonymous at 19,Nov,11 04:09

Bellend!


By anonymous at 27,Dec,11 23:00

NO LOVE LOST, NO LOVE FOUND
-EMINEM


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