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no money, no life.

Posted by techlife at August 5, 2011
Tags: Anxiety  2011 August  Job  Meaninglessness  Money

I am 29 years old and have 3 boys whom are the driving force behind all that I do. I am in a relationship going on ten years which has its ups and downs but is otherwise ok.

The problem I do have is I have a job that pays nothing, tons of debt, no free time to enjoy life and absolutely no friends.

My job is extremly dangerous. I risk my life on a daily basis to bring in a measly income. The problem with it though is that it is a technical job and one that does pay good given the right opportunity. I can't seem to find anything else though. This city I live in may as well be the ass end of the universe. High unemployment, no opportunity. I would move but all my efforts to find employment elsewhere result in zero calls. Its not that i don't have the credentials or experience, I've been working in my field for a few years and have been to college a few times. Which leads to my other problem. Tens of thousands of dollars in debt. Because of it I can't get a mortgage or a car loan. I can't save up any money to move out of social housing projects despite cutting back constantly. I am always selling everything I saved up for just to makE ends meet. I don't know what elsebi can cut back on. Its always a downgrade for me. My luck is shit too I swear every appliance or eletronic device fails on me even though I've owned it for a shirt period of time and I meticulously take care of everything I own. I can't do anything fun with my kids. They never been on a trip. I get no support from my family. In almost ten years we have had 3 or 4 nights where we didn't have kids at home. Between work and errands me and the wife never have any time together, not even to go to a movie. This wouldn't be so bad if I had friends to do something with but I don't have any. Everyone in this city is so ignorant and backwards and I have never found anyone with the same interests as me.
Life is just one boring day after the next where the only thing I have to look forward to is the next bad thing that happens to me. I feel as though where I live had alot to do with it but I have tried endlessly to get out. I feel like shit for not being ablebto provide a good life for my kids. It makese feel worse knowing they will suffer the same fate as me if I don't get us out of this city. All I ever think about is how much I hate my life. The only thing preventing me from killing myself is the thought of abandoning my kids like that. If things get any worse however im probably going to end up doing it.


Votes:


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Comments:
By anonymous at 25,Sep,11 22:49

The postive is that you are good father and love your family. It is easy for me to say what you should do, because I am not in your shoes. You could file for bankrubucty and that would help you start over fresh. Look for another job see what happens. Take one problem at a time. Give God a chance it make changes if you will let him. Life ia all about choices, give your self some credit and make a change. What do you have to loose,??? Look for a church that has a childerns program, and people your age. Church is a great place to make friends. Try not to fix all your problems at once, fix the one you can and let god do the rest. You did not get in this place over night, and you will not get out of it over night. Quit saying what you cannot do, say what you and your wife can do togheter. Put God first, wife,kids,than everything else will fall in to place. May God become part of your life.


By anonymous at 27,Sep,11 19:54

the love you have for your family and the drive you have to succeed in trying to make a better life is so apparent in your words and it's truly a beautiful thing.i know suicidal thoughts are not easy to get rid of, but please don't destroy the loving family unit you are a part of- for their sake and yours. Like you, I've often thought that moving to a different city would make a difference, that it would change things and my luck would pick up but now i worry that this is just some false notion that i have picked up from films and tv. It's certainly a positive to want to work towards a new start and this is what I'm also doing but it doesn't mean you can't make the best of things where you are until your chance to move on comes along.you might need to apply for hundreds of jobs until something better comes along, but eventually, it will. I know this is so much easier said than done but even if you only had time or energy to apply for just one new job a week, it would still be better than nothing.With regards to getting a break from the kids now and again, do you know of any other parents in similar situation? You could maybe form a baby sitting club, with trusted parents and take it in turns to sit other people's kids now and again in return for having a night to yourselves occasionally. That way it's free too and your kids get to be cared for in a safe environment. Also, it sounds like you put a lot of pressure on yourself to make everything right for your family. Whilst this is very admirable, as your kids grow,they will come to take responsibility for their own lives and they could become anything at all, with or without your intervention. If you love them, you're already giving them the best chance in life. They may or may not end up in your situation because by the time they are adults the world will be a very different place. Wish you all the best anyway and really hope things pick up for you :-)


By anonymous at 17,Nov,12 19:22

GOOD NEWS... You have Optical Rectitus and it's completely curable.

"Everyone in this city is so ignorant and backwards" REALLY?

Unless the population is 10 that isn't possible, its simply your outlook.

REMEMBER - it could be a lot worse. You could have been renting in Breezy Point New York and lost everything in a flood, been trapped in the attic waiting for the water to subside only to have your home burned to the ground hours later with you and your family in it.

Face it, you have a roof over your head, a job, a wife and kids...

YOU ARE BLESSED


By Namgay at 07,Mar,13 05:54

by Annaji. Oh ! What a great revelation of the triaotiandl Bhartiya way of Life. e2€œPerfect behavior, pure wisdom, untainted life, Sacrificee2€a6.e2€9d Do we agree with Anna really?Corruption rests in Mind of people and spreads in Rules, Finance, Society, System and overall. Communalism is another form of corrupted mind-set. We have to uproot this corruption from our mind from everybody. A common man to politician. From a businessman to a home tutor. We have to take an oath to save our country from corruption. Only bringing the stashed money from Swiss Bank will end the corruption? No. Enactment of the Jan Lokpal Bill will end up corruptions? No. But, all these are the certain powerful tools to set strong machinery against Corruption. But unless and until the Human resources are free from corruption, nothing shall be happened.Thinking envious to the neighbors will make us corrupt, not discharging the stipulated responsibilities in time makes a vicious circle of corruption and bribes, debauchery in life tends a corrupted life, the sprawling subversiveness survives in corruption, Political ambitions without the prosperity of the people makes us completely e2€œCorruptede2€9d and my corruption and your corruption made this Nation, easy to say as e2€œCorruptede2€9d. Yes, this is the time to say no to e2€œCorruptione2€9d. Anna started to set a e2€œCorruptione2€9d free India. We have to follow it hermetically.Certainly the most significant feature of this Anti-Corruption Movement is to bring the mass from all strata of life, all beliefs, all rights group and different organisations across the country even touches the hearts of millions of Indians dwell out side India. The whole country saw the fervor of the growing sentiment in favor of Nationalism and against the political corrupts, bankrupt bureaucrats and the media moles in the system. And after all, the reluctant and repulsive Govt crowned with corruptions bent to the protesting populace demanding a strong law enforcement against Corruption with the direct representation o the Republic of India. Now such a necessary law is possible. That may be a nightmare of the corrupted politicians, bureaucrats, media moles, NGOists. But we have to draw the dream lines of the Corruption Free India for which millions of youngsters and the youths marched these days with the older generations even.Yes, only Anna can do this. Perhaps, He is the uncrowned King of India. All responded him to join the cause. The Bharat Swabhiman Trust, Art of Living, ABVP, RSS all joined with another thousands for this great cause. We saw Swami Ramdev and Ram Madhav in a frame. We saw Medha Patker and Anupam Kher side by side. The Buddhist monks and the Jain Munis were on the stage, at the same time Farah Khan could not resist her to reach Jantar Mantar, keeping aside her busy schedule of Bollywood. Hindus worshiped and offered e2€˜aahutie2€™ in Mass Yanga (fire rituals) in the street, while Muslims and Christians prayed for the success of Annae2€™s fast at Jantar Mantar. The whole India were with Anna these days and must remain with him. The feelings are My India, My Bharat e2€“ against inconsistency of the system so far, against big beefed e2€˜bhastrachare2€™ (corruption) in India. Anna surfaced the potential Oneness of India. Ekatma Bharat. And not detracting and rejecting any thing for the good of this Republic, Anna solicited the strength from Vivekananda to Gandhi, Laxmibai to Bhagat Singh-Chandrasekhar Azad, from Dayananda to Rammonhar Lohia. Anna symbolized him as a modern saint of India with a triaotiandl vision and values. Annae2€™s scientific approach for the rural reconstruction in Ralegan Siddhi with preserving all the Indian values and ethics may serve as a role model in every aspirant rural corners of India too. Now a modern India can stand up with its own identity along with rationality and modernity.I am still in the rhythms of little school girls who were shouting very enthusiastically in the street rally after Anna broke his fast in the fifth day e2€“ e2€˜Ek do tin char, dur karenge bhastrachare2€™ , e2€˜hamara neta kaisa ho, Anna Hazare Jaisa Hoe2€™e2€a6. I was also clapping and shouting in the same way.Bande Mataram, Bharat Mata ki Jai. Jai Hind.


By Loco at 10,Dec,15 16:06

Hey Kim, sound for the link. Yeah, he's the swipe-master alright.It used to rellay bug me that he was so successful when his talent was very much in doubt, but i remember picking up an issue of X-Force he did a year or so ago, and i had to just laugh at how he avoided drawing feet in EVERY panel. So i just get amusement out of it.Also, it's easy to have a go at him; he's the poster-boy for such behaviour, but there's plenty of lack-luster artists out there who are incredibly popular. THAT bugs me. People look back at Liefeld's work and go 'tut-tut', but there's plenty of it going on today.Dec


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