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Why am I such a loser?

Posted by Lonely but Lovable at September 8, 2011
Tags: Loneliness  Relationship  2011 September

I am 34 year old woman who is incredibly shy. I still live at home to take care of my ailing mother. Nobody cares about me at all or ever asks how I am doing, even my brothers and I am going through absolute hell here. If I were to die tomorrow, nobody would care at all except my mom and she will die soon...so very soon I will be COMPLETELY alone in this world!!

I have no friends anymore, and I never get text messages or phone calls. I stay home every night, so don't even ask about the weekends--LOL. I have a facebook account so that I can play games, but I have no real friends on my list, they are all gaming buddies. Facebook has shown my just how lonely and pathetic I really am.

The BIG BIG BIG secret I have is that I have never even had sex!!! I will probably die a virgin. I have only kissed one man in my life before and it was wonderful. But now I am too shy to even look or smile at a man. But I want so badly to and to get over this damn shyness.

No, I am not ugly. I am ok looking. I have an average build, nor do I have B.O. Like, wtf is wrong with me--why am I soooo unlovable. I am a nice person and would do anything for anyone.

Why am I so pathetic!!!!
Anyway....who cares, right?


Votes:


Similar Entries:
Life and its sucked up rule June 9, 2011
am an all rounder in being a loser May 2, 2012
why? March 14, 2012
I'm the biggest loser on the planet August 23, 2011
Lessons of a perpetual loser. February 25, 2012



New Comment

Comments:
By anonymous at 01,Nov,11 19:12

You should start an online dating account. There are many lonely men out there that would give you a chance. Technology is both good and bad. It can both isolate or connect a person. Use it to connect yourself to the outside world.
By anonymous at 02,Nov,11 10:28

But online dating websites are full of creeps and losers, as far as older men are concerned (I'm a male saying this :) ). Good catches are few and far in between, so just be careful.


By at 01,Nov,11 22:09

Hi,
I understand how you feel. Don't think you are unlovable...it's just that because of your shyness you haven't given anyone a chance to see how wonderful you are. Just go out there and mingle. Life is too short. World needs more kind people like you. Don't underestimate your existence. Just trust in your strengths.maybe volunteer at a nursing home or at an orphanage, you will meet some nice people there. Also love will happen when you least expect it...trust me:-) live at the present (this moment), don't let your past affect you anymore and stop wasting life making plans for future and live right now; coz life is too short. If some people don't like you, don't worry because there are thousands of others who will. Just give them a chance:-)

Hope this helps,

Sherin
Www.mylifeboard.org


By anonymous at 01,Nov,11 22:22

Some time people mistake shyness for being snobby. That was the case for me. I didnt realize it until a couple that lived down the road from me came to speak to my husband. The wife started talking to me and I forced myself to have a conversation and at the end she said "hmmm I always thought you'd be a real bitch but you are very nice" It's really hard to come out a shell for me I alway thought Id say something stupid and people would judge me, but now I realize Im a good person and if people like me, they like me, if they dont they dont.


By anonymous at 01,Nov,11 22:35

In my opinion it is kind of shallow to use facebook as a gauge of how cool or loved you are. That is sort of like judging a person based on how much money they have.

Never having had sex isn't really that big a deal. It is actually nice to find people that haven't. Most people that have a lot of sex with lots of different people are really just gross people, in my opinion.

You just need an area of interest to direct your passions. you need to find like-minded people, not to look for others to accept you. looking for others to accept you as a "friend" so you can show off a list of friends will eventually prove unfulfilling.
By anonymous at 28,Sep,12 18:47

Well said!!


By at 02,Nov,11 05:05

Hi,
i felt so lonely and pathetic about myself today, so just googled what it got to offer me about, then i found this link. really i feel sad about you. you cannot do what ever happened to you for the past years, but life isn't over yet. i am in a such a situation i feel depressed and lonely more often, but i don't give up, i try to be normal and making my life fun. i do have a facebook account and i really enjoy being in it (but honnest to say sometimes i feel worried a lot, while see others have more joy than me) i show up like a normal person without problems try to make friends and see for any relationship could workout.. anything. because i have one thing in big time that is HOPE, i have the hope one day or another i will be blessed and will be happy a lot. in that day i shouldn't feel upset that i was always feeling depressed. so even when all the troubles and sadness i have, i mingle with society, play, go to gym, dress nice, stay clean, actually i do better than others. and i have the trust in Almighty god above all my strength.
but am 32, and about sex not yet,...and lot of pathetic stories in my life. so don't be worried and cornered. just try to act normal, you will become normal. and don't rush for a relationship, because if it become worse you will be more sad. so just make friends, and be good and open. by time you will find a happy life amid all troubles.
send me your facebook id to yerzad@hotmail.com, start making friends from me :)cheer up lady :)


By anonymous at 02,Nov,11 10:41

Hi,

after reading this I can honestly say I would love to meet you :D. It's highly unlikely however, I don't even live in the USA.

Women like you are very rare, I mean this in the best possible. I think not all men can appreciate this, but many guys do, and most of those who can't are superficial jerks anyway, so you kind of have this filter that protects you from assholes :). The problem for you is finding a guy that could appreciate your value in your age group. I'm sure there are a few still left somewhere though.

I found that, after graduating from university, pretty much the only way to meet new people and make lasting friends is through hobbies. Maybe it's not the only way, but it surely the most effective and most pleasant. So do you have any hobbies? Develop them. If not, try and remember something that you always wanted to do, or think of something new. Then do that, make sure you really enjoy it, don't start, cycling for example, just because you want to meet guys, it would be miserable, you have to enjoy the activity (cycling is a good option if you like it though :), looots of guys doing it). After you get some experience in whatever it is that you like to do, find a community, join classes, attend meeting etc, you get the picture... Your shyness will still get in the way, but at least it will be almost not awkward at all to meet new people because you are all doing something and it's only natural to want to talk to like minded people.

And don't rush it, i think it's better to stay single than to end up with a wrong person (divorce and all that fighting... meh...).

Wish you all the best :). Good Luck!


By anonymous at 03,Nov,11 00:20

hi my life suck too...if you want a pen pal?....ill chat ...if you like


By anonymous at 03,Nov,11 10:47

You are not pathetic and you are not a looser. You are, in fact, awesome!


By at 03,Nov,11 13:38

luqowhff


By anonymous at 04,Nov,11 07:09

"Anyway....who cares, right?"

Might be pretty insignificant, but just look at how many comments you got, and try to see what percentage of posts on this website does that good...


By anonymous at 04,Nov,11 09:26

hi

ur life really sucks, take my id pls send me emails..
adcreations11@gmail.com


By anonymous at 06,Nov,11 19:52

Hey darlin I know exactly how you feel (really I do) Best advice I can give you is you need to sit down with a pen/ paper and write down ALL the things you would LOVE to do and learn, might be playing the guitar, street dancing ANYTHING that will get you out into a social environment and THAT'S how your going to meet like minded people and who knows you might really hit it off with someone!
In Life you get back what you put in, don't waste your life watching the paint peel off the Walls!! X
Johnny


By at 08,Nov,11 00:45

The fact that you are taking care of your mother in her old age is wonderful! That, by default, makes you not a loser! In fact, it's very honorable of you.

I happen to know a man, about your age, who was going through the same thing, taking care of his father until he died. After his father's death, his sisters took his inheritance and split.

Shortly after, he met and fell in love with a beautiful Vietnamese women he met at a salon. It just goes to show that things like that happen without warning.

So, no matter what you believe in, even if it's nothing at all, you gotta admit that you deserve to have something great happen to you, for doing such a nice thing. I would say to just keep your eyes open for possibilities, no doubt there will be some out there waiting for you!


By Ash at 15,Mar,12 13:34

you sound very interesting, just communicate with people and ask if you want to hang out. Doll yourself up, buy clothes that are attractive, Look at men and just smile. Trust me, Men are more afraid of women than women are afraid of men. How do you think Eve convinced Adam to eat that fruit? Because she was gorgeous and could have such an ability on Adam. But don't be like that, just be yourself and try to experience love. Sex is fine, but try to be set on loving and having someone love you


By anonymous at 24,May,12 03:42

I just want to thank you for your story, because I also feel lonely and depresssed. I am 41 years old, and I'm going thru a divorce. I always been shy, but people mistaken it as be being a snob. I just feel like I fail in life. My sisters all are educated with good jobsb and I'm the black sheep of the family. I didn't finish college, and I had a baby at 14. >rom the outside, I look like I have it all, butI'm dyiing inside. I thought about commiting suicide, but I think about my loving mother. It's by the grace of God, that I'm making it through this struggle. I plead for you to find a good bible teaching church, because Jesus loves you. He is all you need for a joyful life. Everything else will fall into place I know he will bring me thru it all the pain and heartache. You are a beautiful person, so never give up no matter how mant times you fall. I have fallen so many times,but you better believe }'m on my feet


By anonymous at 24,May,12 03:55

I just want to thank you for your story, because I also feel lonely and depresssed. I am 41 years old, and I'm going thru a divorce. I always been shy, but people mistaken it as be being a snob. I just feel like I failed in life. My sisters all are educated with good jobs, and I'm the black sheep of the family. I didn't finish college, and I had a baby at 14. From the outside, I look like I have it all, but I'm dying inside. I thought about commiting suicide, but I think about my loving mother. It's by the grace of God that I'm making it through this struggle. I plead for you to find a good bible teaching church, because Jesus loves you. He is all you need for a joyful life. Everything else will fall into place. I know he will bring me thru all the pain and heartache. You are a beautiful person, so never give up no matter how many times you fall. I have fallen so many times, but you better believe I'm on my feet the next day!


By Venicio at 29,May,12 12:01

I feel for you. I am the same way, even with meds.


By anonymous at 01,Aug,12 23:20

I am hopeless.


By anonymous at 17,Aug,12 11:07

Im an urpowl


By anonymous at 27,Jan,13 17:01

I am just so close to doing something stupid. I can't live like this anymore. I just can't. All I do is work and eat. I am a Diabetic and don't take care of myself. Why bother? I have nothing to live for anyways. I am all alone and all by myself ALL the time. Life is not fun. Trust me.


By crorkz mattz at 15,Jan,15 22:09

53NX9T I truly appreciate this post. I've been looking everywhere for this! Thank goodness I found it on Bing. You've made my day! Thank you again


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