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I want to die

Posted by *ucked up at October 2, 2011
Tags: Health  Meaninglessness  2011 October  Unemployment

I have been unemployed for over a year. Unable to support myself, no hope of finding any work. Lost everything! After a heart attack and two wrists that have been under the knife 6 times for ligament tears and too the fact that I will soon be 51 years old, who would want to hire me. Life is without hope, feel like a burden to all that know me. Just want to end this pain inside. I was once a very proud successful man, now only a shell of what was once a man. Have received help been placed on medication to treat the depression, but all it does is mask my feelings. I find no pleasure in life, everyday all I think about is the best way to accomplish the final deed. Still searching for a way to make it look as an accident. Any one have a suggestion? I pray each day for God to take me. Let a child live an take me in their place.


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Comments:
By anonymous at 21,Nov,11 21:40

There is still hope.
By anonymous at 22,Nov,11 11:05

You have the right to think your hopeless but guess what? we dont really have the right to believe that :D
I am ready to tell you things i am through, that are even more bad than urs, and still, i refuse to give up, why would i, instead, i will fight, i want to be happy, and i am not for now, and despite all the time i have lost for now, i wont lose more, I AM CHANGING FACTS, nothing in life worth time, you have no idea what a second would mean, and God is giving you days and years, dont waste it. dont let it go man...

I can help you, please, send me any way to reach you and contact you, your email or phone number. you will make me happy if u let me help you, you know what happiness mean, so if i said u would make me happy, wouldnt you want to grant me that, knowing how it feels to not have it?

Dont give up, and let me help you... your not alone in the world.


By anonymous at 22,Nov,11 16:21

If God would listen to such pleas many many many people in this world would be dead.Do any job u can do and you get.


By anonymous at 03,Jan,12 06:46

I understand your situation perfectly. I understand completely how pointless life can feel and it still does. My only advice is to think deeply about whatever you do from now.

The falsely positive idiots with their "life is wonderful", life is worth fighting for" and all the pathetic God Botherers can trumpet their brain dead transcripts all they like and I can only say don't buy that bullshit, coz that's all it is.

Whether you give up or not however is a BIG decision and not one to be taken lightly. Do you have kids ? do you have people who genuinely love you (I mean REALLY love you, forget the self serving "noone loves me" bullshit). Parents ? Close friends ?

The major impact of you leaving this life is on them NOT on you. Shit ! You'll be dead, what'll you care ?? But the people you leave behind ARE the people that wear the brunt and the cost of you going. If you have ANYONE that you love and will be significantly hurt by you going then MAKE SURE you think it through before you do anything.

I was where you are and this aspect (that me topping myself actually impacted others - my kids - shitloads more than myself) stopped me.

This is no sermon. I don't know whether you have anyone who cares about you or not. You may decide to do something anyway.

It's your call.

But don't for a second think that noone else is affected.

Make a wise decision not a selfish one.
By anonymous at 25,Jun,12 11:19

Been there too, still here actualy on meds and masking the problem is all the meds do, iam just tired of the fight after over 25 years of running my small shop i have no idea how to take a vacation, never been much for leaving my area because i live in a cool area i dont work weekends and my house is almost paid for, with that said you ask why then are you tired of living? Beats me i guess it does not seem worth it to only die and leave all your hard earned work behind, i am happy my kids will end up with a nice house when iam gone. I have depression not to bad not like alot of people have, i can emagine have depression like some people have, mine is not that bad where about once a month i loose my mind sorta and cause a big problem for my very cool wife, she derserves much better than me. i just dont want to kill myself and have my kids carry that around with them the rest of their life. i do have a heart condition and not taking care of it in hopes it will kill me,,,,,,,C YA!


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