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Posted by bournlippy at November 4, 2011
Tags: Failure  Health  2011 November

I am bulimic. I eat mass amounts of food and puke it up into the toilet. Thousands of dollars a year I waste on food that doesn't even make it far enough to nourish my body. I am still fat. FUCKING FAT. I am disgusting. I'm half asian and half white. Therefore I got chubby asian features but a caucasion build. I am a fat asian girl. It's so disgusting it's almost comical. I am a failure at college and a failure at the job I thought I loved. My parents raised me with the best intentions and I fucking failed them too. My life was set up perfectly for my success and I spat in my own life's face. I fucking shit in my own bed and now I'm too covered in shit to get out of it. My life doesn't even really suck because this is my fucking fault. It's not my life, it's me! I am defective. When I think about God making people I see body parts going by on a conveyor belt and God carefully choosing which parts go to what people. I see him making little pieces of carefully put together art. While he carefully picks out pieces of people some pieces fall on the floor. At the end of a productive day he sweeps them up into a dust pan. For reasons I will never understand and perhaps because I am just a stupid human thing, he poured these leftover pieces of shit and thought "Hey lets make a person out of these leftover pieces". BAM. Those pieces made me. Here I am. Made up of the shit that was on the floor of God's workshop. LOL I should have been aborted. Isn't that what happens to defective fetuses? Well they somehow missed me and I turned into a defective person.


Votes:


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Bulid me up just to bring me back to hell. February 10, 2012
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New Comment

Comments:
By anonymous at 11,Dec,11 10:36

You did this to yourself. Suck it up and fix it.


By Jim at 11,Dec,11 13:01

First of all FUCK YOU ANONYMOUS.... it's hard for some of us to loss weight and become what society expects of us physically. Why don't you chain a cinderblock to your feet and jump in a river see how long you can hold your breath. Douchebag

Now bournlippy you are a very creative person I'll give you that. A lot of wording in this I would not of ever thought of using it in that sense. Bulimia isn't the solution to losing weight. You need to find something in your life that is therapeutic for you. Something that makes you proud of being you.
By anonymous at 23,Dec,11 04:15

FUCK YOU BACK ! " JIM " !


By anonymous at 11,Dec,11 19:26

I'm confused by your entry


By anonymous at 12,Dec,11 16:49

you must look like an eskimo.


By anonymous at 12,Dec,11 20:19

You sound beautiful to me.


By anonymous at 13,Dec,11 00:58

You're only failing yourself with how little you think of yourself! You must realize it's not your appearance you are dissatisfied with, it is just one of the easier things to attack.

Realize that you are just as good as everyone else, that what you look like and does not make up "you" as a whole. put your chin up and pick one thing that you feel is fucked up, and work to fix it. Bulimia isn't the answer. Focus your efforts elsewhere. Watch one thing come together only to have many others follow suit!

All the best :)


By anonymous at 13,Dec,11 05:48

God made everything and everyone with extreme love and care. While you may not feel this at the moment, it is the truth. Be calm and at peace with the knowledge that you were supposed to be exactly as you are - we were also given free will, and it is how you use this free will that wil define who you are.
You should google images of women like Marilyn Monroe, and other women from around those times - back when the ideal women had a normal body with actual meat on their bones, and not just a thin layer of skin.
You are not a defective person, but until you work up the conviction that you are worth the effort, there isn't much anyone else can do. its up to you mate


By anonymous at 14,Dec,11 16:12

Fuck you fat asshole there are people who cant eat food cuz they have no $$ but you whine cuz you eat a lot. Join a gym and stop whining


By anonymous at 15,Dec,11 22:56

You FUCKS!!!!!!!!


By anonymous at 08,Feb,12 21:02

yeah. idk whther you read these comments or not, bournlippy, but im commenting anyway. about the food, im in a similiar situation, and it does suck, doesnt it? and with the parents to- except for me, i betrayed the one Father who actually gives a shit about me. and yeah, humans are stupid. but God isnt. so, even though this prob doesnt make sense(since im a traitor), go talk to Him. read something. maybe God loves you, regardless of the shit you do. he def cares, evn if you dont. and he is a hell of a lot smarter than us, and doesnt make mistakes.


By awesome link building at 24,Sep,13 20:23

1Ev0SA I really like and appreciate your post.Really looking forward to read more. Really Cool.


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