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oh Allah why was I given life

Posted by melons at November 6, 2011
Tags: Attitude  Money  2011 November

Since I was a little boy I remember not fitting in, not understanding why someone didnt like me, not understanding why my perants encouraged me not to make freinds, why I somehow was more advanced on maturity level, but always craving to play, why people made fun of deranged father, why the teacher treated me differently, why I, a 8 year old child was was thinking of life and death, good and bad, why I a 13 year old boy clad in odd sized clothes mismatched like my soul, was thinking what it feel like for it all to end, why me a 15 year old clinically deppressed, quirky boy with a brittle self esteem was thinking why? Why me a 17 year a smart and intellectual was redoing his GCSEs again. Because of someone else's fault. Why me a 19
year old was being forced to work, full time for another 3 years so.I could got to another damn country to become what my shit grades didnt let me become at home, why
me a 21 year old was in 30,000 debt why me a 24 year old was
wondering why a girl wont ait next
t to me in class even though I am smart, why me a 24 year old was diagnosed with social anxiety disorder was longingly looking at the from the side of a bridge, why Me a 25 year old medical school dropout, in 60,000 debt was on the verge of a major mental breakdown, with only a bottle of vodka as his freind, why me a 27 year old virgin was with no freinds and family, no clean clothes, living in a flat which he cant afford anymore, was desperately looking for a job, why me a 34 year old diagnosed with renal failure is finally giving up on a life that he should not have lived, why me! For fuck sake.
Why do I have to have the short stick, why do my problems have to haunt me at night.
Why me a little boy who is going to die without a feel of a woman's flesh, was looking back at his life, when there was nothing to see.


New Comment

By anonymous at 15,Dec,11 12:31

youve done a good thing by posting this man letting it all out is the first step its not your fault its the system we are all born into look up thezeitgeistmovementdotcom

By Jordan 7+13 at 17,Nov,14 18:57

316 .2 0. The

By Nike Black Mamba 24 at 31,Dec,14 13:52

Aku kemudiannya mengunci basikal kesayanganku. Cinta yang sentiasa membawa kebahagiaan kepada hati, =).¡°no thank you!¡± kata hayati yang dipanggil ?? apa yang akan si kecil ini teriakkan padaku disaat ia perlukanku.ibu mak ummi mama suamiku hanya tersenyum melihat gelagatku sambil memberi ciuman kasih didahikulamunanku menjadi semakin indah hari demi hariku usap perutku setiap waktuku bisikkan kata-kata indah pada bayiku teramat sayang padamu wahai anakku.sebelum jenazah anakku disemadikan sempat kusisipkan photo aku bersama suami di balutan putih tubuh kecil anakku.sempat jua ku ambil bekas-bekas kain putih itu yang dipotong untuk kusimpan sebagai pengubat rindu

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