While I know my bitch story is really nothing compared to those I have read. Sometimes, you just need to get shit off your chest before you unleash at chances are, the person who least deserves it.
I guess you can say I'm just tired of being tired. I can't shake the feeling that I am the only responsible, reliable person on the whole damn planet. I'm trying so hard to find a roommate to replace the one I had to toss out because she decided that she was going to do it her way and not my way. Her way is what got her into the mess she was in. And since she was a friend, and I wanted to help, I allowed her to tag with me and my family across the country back to my hometown. I warned her though that the Midwest is nothing like the west coast. You have to actually work for a living, the world doesn't revolve around you, and no one gives a fuck what your problems are. Well she decided to do it her way, costing her her job because she didn't get her divers license and couldn't get to her nice paying job.
The only reason I took this house we are living in, was to have someone help pay for the rent. It's honestly costing me more to rent this urine soaked hell hole then the house I bought that in which I was forced to abandoned before we really went up shit creek. So here I am now, posting and posting on various websites trying to find a new roommate. Some total stranger that for all I know, is going to make my life even worse by trying to kill my family in their sleep or steal my stuff. I tried asking friends if they needed a place to live, but it's been a total no go.
So now I have no fucking money and having trouble paying for everything. I work 50 hours a week and it's not enough. My husband is trying to make what he can, and we were doing ok, until his job got into the slow season. Our child goes to karate 3 times I week that we are paying for, I can't have him quit that. I'm going to quit smoking just to save money, not because I want to or increase my chances of getting hit by a bus.
I'm just so sick of making all these sacrifices, cutting corners, and fighting everyday just of basic everyday fucking survival. While people like my ex roommate, sit on their dam asses and don't give a fuck about anyone but themselves. Much like a relative of mine, who has never worked a day in her life thinking she can judge me and the choices I make. Those ads I've been posting, all I get are spammers from people that think I'm stupid to fall for their money making scams. Like I'm just going to hand out my fucking account information. The one person who actually answered my ad, flaked out.
I'm just tired of fighting, I want to quit. Maybe my ex roommate, Lazy McFatAss has something really going on. She doesn't have to worry about a thing, no bills, no rent and dumbass suckers like me in the world that have a heart and want to try and help them so they have someone to mooch off of and get what they need. | |
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