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Chronic Depression

Posted by Mondo at December 30, 2011
Tags: Childhood  2011 December

"Love is a losing game." -Crackhead Amy Winehouse

So in life you're supposed to learn new things that progress you as a person. If you werent raised right, you wouldnt know. I almost didnt. Im dealing with my childhood now, and for the rest of my life. I regret allowing my mother to raise me for now I have more problems than I can bare. I have a boyfriend and I dont know how much more of this "no love" feeling I can take. Im tired of picking petals and the love I thought was there is even hollower than I could imagine. At least that's what I think but I dont think he would even tell me to start if he ever stopped. He never tells me anything and I feel the space he leaves me to think is to desolate. I dont even know him anymore. They say, "if you love something, set it free." Im afraid I cant do that, there isnt much keeping me from suicide but hes the last thing I have so forgive me if Im holding on to a lie.

I wish I knew if he loved me.

I wish I had family and friends.

All I have is him, and I wont want anything else when hes gone...


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