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I have no life

Posted by anonymous at January 26, 2012
Tags: Attitude  2012 January  Meaninglessness

I was the most confident person on the planet. Then 10 years ago my girlfriend had a still birth with what would have been our 1st child. I had to be there for her whilst she was in labour for 9 hours, knowing the baby was not alive. It crushed me. I have a supposidly good job, teaching IT to delinquent children aged 14-16. I now have 2 boys and 1 girl. They are amazing, but I am constantly haunted by the loss of my 1st child. I have lost my mojo. I go to work and come home, same old routine every day. I used to play football 5 times a week. Now, if I play once a week then it is a big deal. No one cares about how the man feels when a child is lost. It's all about the woman. Whilst I appreciate that it was my partner that had the baby, I would of been it's amazing dad. I no longer smoke or drink. I am mr super boring. Lost Lost Lost.


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Comments:
By anonymous at 11,Feb,12 22:34

No offense but give me a break. You have three healthy kids. Be happy about that.


By kifi4@hotmail.com at 12,Feb,12 02:30

You are in the proper state in life where having fun is not normal pal. Your mojo now is supposingly to be a good dad and supportive husband.

If you started playing video games with your kids, then you will have fun. Too childlish? No, playing video game is mainstream now, normal people play video games that are stimulative, competative, and multiplayers. Smoke and drink make one a bad roll model anyway. Those friends you lost for not intoxicating your-self are not the right friends for a father of good role model.


By at 12,Feb,12 14:15

Hi, so sorry to hear about the loss of your child. It sounds, to me, like you have not grieved for your lost child. Grief is a process, and if we stop it, we cannot heal from the wounds left by it. Maybe in recognizing that you may need to complete this natural process you will yourself begining your recovery from this place you find yourself in. Hope this help. Best of wishes to you.
By at 12,Feb,12 14:17

you will find yourself begining your recovery from this place you find yourself in.


By anonymous at 16,Feb,12 01:18

Life does suck the way we make it! We humans have to wake up. When everyone is dishonest, selfish, violent natured,oppressive, cruel and sarcastic and so on and so forth, what do you expect? Think about how you really are and you will notice that you cause your own problems. Think about what's good in your life, do better for yourself and others and before you know it you'll start enjoying life instead of concentrating on all the negative evil harmful suffering that we all have to overcome.


By anonymous at 02,Mar,12 18:49

Dude, if you're still wallowing in pity 10 years after the child died, you need therapy. Obviously, you don't have the coping skills - so, go get them. The 3 kids you have are feeling this - even if they don't say anything to you. Why should they suffer because you can't handle your grief? Tens of millions of human beings have lost children through miscarriage or stillbirth, some never had any subsequent kids - you did. You say no one paid attention to you after the loss - did you let anyone know you were hurting? Ppl can't read minds - if you acted like the tough guy, then don't blame others for not meeting needs you never expressed.


By suba suba at 07,Nov,19 09:26

FUt0uA You made some clear points there. I did a search on the subject matter and found most people will agree with your site.


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