I am so sick of my fiance's ex-wife and her every attempt to put herself in our life and personal business. We live in the same town, I have to see her at the gym, at my door several times a week when she drops their kid off to us, she recently joined our church, so I have to see her there as well. On top of the fact that my fiance and her still have mutual friends and she constantly is texting him and calling him about unimportant and unrealted bullshit!
She puts on a smile and acts fake like she wants to be my new best friend and then when we run into her in public she tries to act like he mutiple kids by mutiple fathers all belong to my fiance b/c he was dumb enough to have a kid with her. She goes around town though acting like her new old husband has fathered all of her children. I have been at the store with thier child and friends of the ex-wife notice thier child and have no clue that I'm the step mom and that her father even exists because they all believe her new old husband fathered them all.
I have never dated anyone with children and ex-wife drama. I don't like having to deal with the ex-wife and her self created drama in my life. My fiance is use to dealing with her and doesn't see how she munipulates situations or tries to meddle in our life. He thinks I am over the top on the situation, but what women wants the ex-wife in her life on a daily basis.
I have alot of built up anger about the whole situation and am looking for suggesstions on how to deal with it?
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But it's hard because you love him and you have strong feelings otherwise you wouldn't be engaged. But... you have to be happy. Your happiness is paramount. try an weigh out what's important.
so you love your fiance, but are scared of a lifelong competitive "situation" with someone who owns a significant history with him.......this makes perfect sense......my suggestion would be, try a little "marriage practice".......if this man is going to be your husband, CONFIDE IN HIM as you would a husband.....lay your worries at his feet, talk to him about this pressure you're feeling and fearing.....pour yourself out, but speak to him calmly and clearly as if you're seeking counsel......give him all of the views that are making you afraid, pour yourself out, and see what stance he takes.....two who are to become one should not argue angrily, even over the toughest of issues......simply say to him, "i'm going to tell you some things, and when i'm done i would like you to answer me".......once he knows everything, listen closely.......(it may take him a couple of days to figure out how he really feels)......but what you're looking for is to see if he stands beside you (as i would), see if he addresses this as a true head of the household who values the wellbeing of his family, or if he simply brushes you and your worries aside for you to "deal" with them on your own......
this is the man that you think you want to MARRY, and his reaction to knowing how you truly feel might help show you which direction is the best for you from this point on.....if you two can't work together on THIS issue as a husband and wife would, then really you should thank the ex for helping reveal your fiance's true colors.......if he doesn't take your feelings into consideration, then it wouldn't matter if this woman and her stank ass "random-baby-daddy" kids were in the picture or not, right?
all joking aside, here comes tough part i talked about earlier.....if you love this man, but decide all of this isn't in your best interest, don't simply leave and break his heart, because a person's heart is YOUR responsibilty once you've allowed them close enough to build a relationship with you......too many people are ignorant of this fact......when you choose to enter a commited relationship, you become a real life representative of LOVE, and if you hurt someone carelessly by cheating or leaving them broken and without closure, you could negatively influence their views on how wonderful true love can be......you don't want that for him, right?.......doing this can derailing him, resulting in the hardening of HIS heart.......you don't have to look very far to see people who are pain, broken and lost because of the carelessness of others....you always treat others as you would want to be treated, ALWAYS......if you choose to contribute to the type of behavior that causes people to NOT believe in love, then you are part of the problem, not the solution.....
we men are not quick thinkers, we are truly savage in our nature......we are geared to react and speak without thinking, remember this, because this trait alone has jeopardized many relationships.......we are not advanced social beings as you women are, sometimes it takes a little bit of time for us to figure out how we really feel and to put that into words.......don't expect him to handle things exactly as you would, this is why some women turn into crazy man-hating feminists or big stank ass bull-dyke lesbo's, they don't seek understanding.......they dont take the time to truly understand our differences, they try to force results and change a person, but get frustrated with their own failure.....they think a man should answer as they would.......we are simply wired differently.......give your fiance time to figure his heart out, don't pressure, after you've said your peace, just be quiet and patient....
be smart as you're dealing with another's heart.....most importantly, in all that you do -- seek wisdom, practice understanding, plan ahead, stand firm on what is right, but love everyone.......this choice is yours and where you go from here belongs to you, and no matter which direction you decide, i pray for your happiness :)
And do not pour yourself out. Your man is most likely enjoying this anyway.
And pray? Sure. If you're psychotic and don't mind speaking to thin air.
here's an example of two people becoming one --- by having a child.....two become one......or one DNA which is made up of two.......get it?.....yep, you got it.....now reach down and pick your jaw up off the floor, idiot
of course the OP should pour herself out to her fiance, he needs to know what's bothering her.....just like a patient pours out all of his/her symptoms if they want to be treated at a doc's office......you don't even know her fiance, but thanks for letting us know about the extremely cynical viewpoints that he has.......great job again
Pray.....i will happily pray for you.....meanwhile, i will acknowledge that you are allowed to believe whatever you want to believe, so in the same breath, maybe you should allow me the same.......unless that makes you nervous.....does it????.......like if i were to say, i suppose you believe that we were all just bacteria swimming around in the big salty pond......but one day, out of nowhere, good old bacteria simply decided that he was tired of the pond and that he was going to grow legs and walk on land, maybe even grow some fur to keep warm........sure.....there is PSYCHOTIC for you.....hey, based on this thinking, why don't you try to grow wings and fly next week?......yeah, good luck with that.
i'll still be praying for you though :)
The world will be a better place when the neanderthals can get their noses out of the crotches of people they don't know, & will never know.
Go back to your cave & stop trying to advise thinking people.
please, tell us more.......tell us more about how you are allowed to share your views with the world, but i'm not......tell us more about how i should be censored for disagreeing with your sad reasoning and poor excuses, but you are allowed to speak anywhere......please tell us more
now continue to shy away from understanding, see how far it gets you.......endorse a lifestyle where a woman has to fuck a turkey baster just to have a family, then tell me that i should go live in a cave??????.......one day you'll realize, YOU CAN'T CONTROL OTHER PEOPLE'S ACTIONS, ONLY YOUR BIG-GAY SELF......try it sometime
out of all that i wrote, all that you got from it was the line where i talked about "SOME" women become feminists and lesbians because of bad experiences with men, WHICH IS FUCKING TRUE, YOU STUPID DIPSHIT.....
all of a sudden since i mention lesbians and feminism, i'm a neanderthal who should go live in a cave?......
seems you are the bigot
I however, am amused to no end to watch you babble. :)
i however am amused at your silly contribution to this page, i will continue to enjoy :)
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