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Posted by Zach at February 14, 2012
Tags: Attitude  2012 February

i dont know why the fuck im on this site. i dont know why im typing this.

fuck it.

i hate being an average piece of shit. im 20, at a community college, no friends, living at home still. i feel worthless. the worst part is, i have no right to feel this way. millions die every year due to hunger, disease, etc. no one gives a fuck about them. this world makes me want to puke.

i hate the thought of being just another person out of 7 billion. im a virgin. i loved this girl who loved me back but she was too embarrassed of me to give me a shot. i couldve had her if i wasnt such a social fuckup.

college blows. i failed every single class first semester and moved back home. i have no excuses for it. whatever. i have no idea why the hell im in college. sometimes i feel like i do whatever society wants me to do. go to school, get some job, and marry some bitch who ill hate after 5 years. marriage is a joke.

i used to have friends. theyve all forgotten about me after moving on to college. these were some of the best friends ive ever had. people that i thought id know forever. i dont talk to any of them anymore. i havent been out of my house for anything social for over a year.

im a virgin. havent done drugs/booz yet. i my as well start; lord knows im not cut out for any sort of success.

some people say theres always something better on the horizon but the amount of shit you go through to get to those moments is unbearable. my life could be much, much worse but im fucking weak. i cry myself to sleep.

at the end of the day, what makes me want to blow my brains out the most is how im just as cinical, self indulged, and self centered as the rest of the world. the only difference is that im at the bottom of the food chain.

i wish i could die. not out of revenge, spite, or any of that other bs. i just dont want to live a pointless life, working for 40 years just to retire and be too old and fucked up to do anything. i have a family. the only thing that keeps me from taking a nap under my cars exhaust in the garage is the fact it would destroy my mom.

go ahead. judge me.



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Comments:
By anonymous at 22,Feb,12 21:23

I'd kinda like to hear what goes through your mind every once in a while, I wouldn't guarantee an answer to it, but I'd read it..
Sometimes just talking knowing someone's listening helps, doesn't it?


By anonymous at 22,Feb,12 22:42

i would suggest you join the military.....after the first 6 months its not bad and you would sure meet some people who would be closer to you than any of those so called friends who forgot about you. Plus its a real good way to get out of your anti social bubble. It helped me and I was basically the same exact way


By anonymous at 22,Feb,12 23:34

hey whats up.. not gnna judge u bro i really relate to this and i've been to this site a lot so that's saying something.. i'm 27 and when i was your age i was writing really depressing songs so i remember what that was like.. basically you are lonely and lacking anything significant to your life.. my advice to you is try to look for something you like that will help get your mind off the lame boring bs of life.. this way its not 100% lame, and instead maybe 50% lame

you are worn out, not physically, but in your spirit.. you need to refresh yourself either through your church and relationship with God, or through a girlfriend, or through your own self expression, or a hobby, or something constructive that isn't tedious or boring.. lets face it, life is very boring and uneventful sometimes.. try to outline a time to find a passion, but put an end date on it because you are young and need to be trying to get on a school or career path.. you have to find something that breathes life back into you bro

and always try not to be lonely and exercise when u can


By anonymous at 23,Feb,12 04:32

when i read ur story i dint believe there is someone with my exact life facing my prob somewhere else lmao dude if u ever find a solution to ur life tell me coz i really will need it


By Mister B-Don at 23,Feb,12 10:52

Im gonna get straight to the point. You need develop a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and get baptized. Fuck friends at least for now. You can't say marriage is a joke if you never been married. You just can't assume it's bad. Keep your head up. It's not gonna be easy to make it to Heaven. Everyone is different.
By anonymous at 23,Feb,12 15:00

I'm gonna get straight to the point, dont use a swear in the same paragraph as baptising yourself through Jesus Christ. K thanks.


By anonymous at 26,Feb,12 02:40

From Brazil
know where you're coming from. I to feel guilty for being whatever i am. don't know man. life is shit. but we have to push trough. why? Reason is bringing logic to an ilogic world. Just push trough. We're all rats. Throw all your suffering to me if i die, and you're happy i'm happy. I deserve to die. You need to push trough. I need to push trough. Far away and rooting for you.


By cheap link building at 24,Sep,13 19:19

4sEfik Very good article post.Much thanks again.


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