1. im a 19 year old virgin
2. ive never had a gf
3. i've always been rejected by everyone
4. i was beaten by my mom up until the age of 18 for reasons ranging from not following directions going outside when im not supposed getting bad grades and too many other things to count
5. always been the bitch of the family who just takes it
6. i work my ass off but i dont get to keep ANY of my money . it all goes to the house
7. i have anxiety and im not sure whats happenened to my body
8. ive had at least 5 panic attacks at the job because of my anxiety but my mom wont let me quit.
9. everytime i go to work my anxiety seems to shoot up and it gets really hard to breath
10. i find young/teenage girls attractive so i guess im a closet pedophile/hebephile
11. the only girls that due find an interest in me are illegal or fat
12. i have no social life
13. i have no freinds
14. i have no social skills which keeps me from getting a normal girl freind in the first place
15. the most i can do with a girl is be nice to them a couple times before i withdraw from fear of rejection which ive experienced my WHOLE FUCKING LIFE
16. i wear jacked up fucking "Malcolm X" looking glasses
17. i have no nice clothes money or car to take a girl ....who would ever want to be with a broke ass guy like me?
18. my hair looks like shit
19. did i mention i have no clothes except raggedy ass shirts and jeans?
20. my brothers and sister get treated better then me always have always will.
21. i never had a real father figure.
22. all of the chances i ever had with a girl were squashed by my mother / sister aswell through fear ....
23. i was always discouraged at an early age by my mother an sister mainly to stay away from all things sexual and sensual with the opposite sex especially white girls ..they said "you could rape them and go to jail" even though i dont know how a 12 year old boy or a young teenager can do that by simply liking and trying to talk to them
24. im a loser...a pathetic nobody
25. i was always the wierd one in high school...
26. i dont trust anyone really.
27. i never received the love i needed from my parents
28. i took 50 milligrams of a drug called 4aaco and ended up having a BAD trip a few minutes after ingesting i told my mom i needed to go to the hospital.... instead of taking me there she beat the shit out of me and told me how much of a dumb ass idiot i was before finally taking me to the hospital which made things a HELL of alot worse then they could of been.
29. i am a bitch because i take this shit and she is "the only one that loves me"....she always told me this after she wooped my ass
30. i masterbate to porn until my dick is dry everyday because this bicth cant get a girl
31. the beatings are done but the damage is done the pain will always be there....im a pathetic little stupid insecure bitch because of it. | |
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your mother is obviously abusive. you should save up $ and move away from home. you are too old to get beaten up by your mother. you will turn 21 soon and will be entering adulthood. i think you need to take some anti-anxiety meds. they help a lot and start getting your life together. you should definitely not give up. you just have toxic people in your life like your mother. really go to college, keep working, save $ and just get out of your mother's house. she's not good to you or for you. first solve that situation and then you can get to talking about getting a girlfriend and all that.
good luck.
Move out when you make enough money and save for a car.
Malcolm X was awesome, and I quote:
"Nobody can give you freedom. Nobody can give you equality or justice or anything. If you're a man, you take it."
2. find one, any...there are many fish in the sea....all sorts...even if she's not ur type
3. figure out why and fix them
4. stay kool and get out of ur moms way
5. stop worrying, stop being scaried, find a source of confidence and have faith
6. save a little after each week and hide it, even from yourself
7.do research on how to control anxiety
8. its a hard to find a job in general, be happy you have some source of income, but keep looking for a better one
9. breath and fake confidence...fake it till you make it
10. find a young looking chick, but of age, or a underdeveloped young adult
11. find different social mixes that you would like to join, there will be a different mix of girls, clubs, library, parks, comic events, strip club, coffee shops, be creative...even grocery stores
12.find what interest you and find pple that share your interest...fbook,twitter...utilize social media...shit even craigslist...whatever
13. friends from simply basic sparks...convo...interest...whatever
14.stop worrying about a girlfriend...do thing you like...or think you would like...gym...movies...smoke...read...then there trust me one will find you..or vice versa
15. stay nice...until you are comfortable...baby steps count
16.swag...its not what you wear...but how you wear it
17. start thrifting...goodwill...be creative...the have fresh shit there all the time...once again be creative...shiit walk...take a bus...or bike...shit like that is romantic to chics....plus we are in a recession pple understand not having a car....but bumming your attire is your choice partna
18. cut it, wash it, getl it up, or swag it up
19. refer to #17
20. change the way you look at thing, and the things you look at begins to change
21. watch the cosby show...or find a role model online...and begin learning
22. stop listening to them, act like you are...but think differently...make your haters your motivators
23. stop thinking sex...start thinking intimacy...or just good conversations...or finding someone with similar interests
24. no your are not...unless if you want to be
25. wierd is cool from a different perspective...
26. you don't have to...trust yourself...make righteous moves...trust God
27. make sure you provide others what you lacked
28. drugs are the easy way out...mediate if you need to....but try not to escape...if you do chose drugs keep it natural...weed...moderation
29. utilize that energy and be a BOSS
30. masturbation is normal....once again in moderation
31. the past is the past...the present is in your hands...and the decisions you make determines your future
-agb
I am socially awkward.
I have very similar situations as you too. People think I am more of a thinker or a dedicated type of person to something.
I don't have girlfriends either nor I really want one.
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