Hey, my name is Alana. I'm 21 years old, and I wish I was dead, because it is easier then living. I was an orphan. I have no idea who my parents are, but I do know that my mother was 16 when she had me and she gave me up to an orphanage. Well, at least she didn't abort me, but maybe that would've been better. I lived in the orphanage until I was 13 years old, when a couple decided to adopt me. It was hard, because most people don't adopt the older kids, but they finally did. It turns out, this couple was actually involved in child pornography and a ring of sexual abuse and illegal prostitution. Of course, I was forced into it almost every night. If I didn't satisfy at least four customers a night, I wasn't given dinner and I was beaten. During the days I had to still attend school, but my teachers would scold me for never completing homework and assignments. I tried to tell them about my situation at home, and I tried to get help but I was afraid to tell anyone. When I turned 16 I ran away from the house, and I lived on the street for about a year, when I met a young man who I thought I loved. But who the hell am I kidding, I don't know what love even means. At 16 I moved in with this man, who was about 25 at the time, I guess. I didn't really know him, but I assured myself that it was a better option than living homeless. This man was good to me at first, and I thought my life was looking up. We had sexual relations, but I could never enjoy them being scared from before. I knew not to trust this animal, but I had no choice. He started raping me often. I had to escape from him as well, this time I took a train and went as far as its last stop to get away from all the abuse. Later, I discovered I was actually pregnant from this man. I had to live in a homeless shelter, as a pregnant woman. I'd puke in side streets, and I grew to be very sick. One day in the shelter, I felt a horrible pain in my lower abdomen. They rushed me to a hospital, where I miscarried the child. I was then diagnosed with Multiple sclerosis which is an autoimmune disease that affects the brain and spinal cord. I am currently under hospital care. They have nice things to do here like read books, watch tv, and they even have iPads with fun apps and an internet connection (which is where I'm writing from now). Ever day I have to deal with doctors coming in and saying "Don't worry, you will live" but I'd rather hear them say "You will die soon." I don't want to continue living, I'm not going to contribute anything to this world. I body is in constant pain, and I can only function with heavy pain-killers. I need to eat through injections most of the time, and I need assistance to do menial tasks like going to the bathroom. If I died, at least the doctors and nurses could direct their attention to someone who's life is worth saving.