Hello, my name doesn't matter right now I am from lebanon so please don't mind my english mistakes.. anyway since I was born I had heart problems so I wasn't allowed to play sports but what turn out to be when I became a little bit older that sport was the only thing that makes me happy... so i tried to play sometimes tried to make friends but I wasn't able and since that time i kept on determining to do what I want to do, after I got used to my problem, I start to be able to go for a little run and play a little bit of soccer from now and then... one time I was in school I was 11 years old we we're playing sport and I was at that time very happy because I was able to enjoy what I love the most, but while I was playing my friend tripped me and broke my leg... nobody believe that my leg was broken till the next day so after dealing with all the pain I had no more energy and I just feel asleep till the next day my mother saw something wrong with my leg and she relized that it there was something wrong with it, they took me to the hospital and they checked me out, it turns out that it is broken and now I have hard time walking perfectuly straight...
my leg looks weird and it's a bit different then the other 1. by time I wasn't able to play sport at all and I got mugged while I was on the way to buy my baby sister some milk. I was beatend down and I wasn't able to fight back coz I was hardly walking and I got spit on when they were done...
when I got up I decided to change my life so I start to try more harder to work on myself to become stronger so i did it took me 2 years to get back to almost normal and when I got back I wanted revenge and I was able to get revenge...
so by then i though everything is gonna work out fine for me, I went to college and I became a model for commertials.
but when i was in college I though i will make friends and go out with them all the time, but it turns out that everyone started to hate me for some reason... so in the cafeteria I am always alone and in my classroom I am alone, when my classmates go to study they gather everyone and never invite me to come. so once I asked one my classmates why r u all against me for some reason? and he said we just don't like u and we don't want u with us. so I stayed 3 years alone, every friend i try to make put me in a shit problem, one of them almost got me killed even thow I protected him when someone tried to mess with him, after I finished I wasn't able to find work and my father is the kinda guy who tells all my sibilings I love u and come here my son and my daughter and laught with them but he never talks with me :S he never even told me I Love u and this actually makes me reallyyy sad...
so by later I meet a guy he was supposed to be a good friend of mine, I introduced him to my family and gf and everything... so i used to be inlove with my gf like i was never in love in my life... but by time me and her started to have fights and arguments because she had to leave the country and I had to be away from her... so we broke up and I had a really hard time and I thought my frnd will be with me in this kind of situation but he jst told me, it's ur problem figure it out ... and I was left alone and I don't believe in friendship anymore i never had a best friend, I started doing drugs and drinking and meeting girls, I think the only good thing that comes from me is I know how to get girls but I know they don't love me coz of who I am...
I feel sometimes Like an outsider...
and actually now I prefer to be away from everyone, but right now i got a job that pays shit after all my education and I got a bad passport and I wish to see the world but I can't it's fucking hard and it's my only wish...
I donno... I'm confused all my dreams r fucked up...
I... mm.. u know I'm kinda lonely.... | |
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