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I will survive.

Posted by anonymous at March 7, 2012
Tags: Attitude  Death  Family  Loneliness  2012 March  Money

My family is dead. I'm 20. No money, no credit. The help I receive I get from people who aren't obligated to help. The debts are too high- moral and monetary.

There's one person who should help and doesn't. My grandmother just makes things worse.
My dad died when I was 15. He had a genetic disease that killed him... his pain levels gave him a hemorrhage in his head. I have the same disease.
My mom and stepdad died in a plane crash on Dec. 24th 2011. My christmas could never be the same again.


I am so busy. All day, every day, for months now I've just been digging myself out of this shit and taking care of business.

I can hardly lift myself from this bed. I am in agony.

No friends my age.

I am thankful for my apartment. I am so extremely lucky for it. I am lucky and thankful for the people who have stepped up in my life and supported me through this very tough transition. It's about to run out though, I can feel it.

"Transition into what?" I ask myself. Still I don't know... As much as I wish for school, I'm no longer optimistic. No time, energy, money, and my old student loans are probably in collections by now.

All I can do is pray and listen to the blues with my screwdrivers mixed heavy and my harp played way down low.

One way or another,
I will survive.


Votes:


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Comments:
By anonymous at 11,Mar,12 01:11

You will survive. I can't say that I know exactly what you're feeling, but I feel your pain and wish I could say something that could help. All I can tell you is to press on. I believe in cliches: perserverence is key, weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning: This is a time of great sorrow, but your season of great joy will come too. Stay focused (I know it sounds impossible, but try), control your thinking (you WILL go to school), and do some research: find out about food assistance, or any programs that can help.

I will include you in my prayers, stay strong - try taking long walks to nowhere to clear your head and to stop worrying so much.


By Raktim at 20,Jul,15 08:33

I hope all this calms down soon, as it is not in anyone's inrseett for it to continue. That, I believe, is why the French prime minister called Nick Clegg on Friday afternoon [to build bridges].


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