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LIFE SUCKS

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Life does not suck....but i feel like giving up

Posted by Rainz at March 14, 2012
Tags: 2012 March  Relationship

Hey, so i am an almost 25 year old woman and at the moment i am having a very hard time holding myself together. I live in a part of the world where the society is composed of people from all over the world. i always felt like an outcast, never connected with my own culture anymore as i have been living in another country more than half my life. I was always an over achiever, by 20 i finished my undergrad, by 22 my post grad with distinction. At 22 i became a manager for one of the biggest healthcare companies in the country and now i was head hunted by o government organization in another city, giving me an offer i could not imagine in my wildest dreams. I didn't have a father growing up. he passed away at a very young age. My mother has been my angel and pillar of support. I come from a mixed culture mixed religion family. No matter how much i have done with my professional life my personal life was always a disaster. Last year i started something with a guy from my own culture. Although was sworn against such men, everyone seemed to be telling me it's time to settle. So i started seing him. although at the beginning i said no, he begged and pleaded until i thought he did truly love me and i should give him a shot. Little did i know that he would be abusive and he would suck out every once of energy i had in me. i fell in love of course. Taking the emotional and verbal abuse, while he criticized every single aspect of me. i am not a bad looking person but i never saw myself beautiful. he would always say i was and he wanted to marry me and so on so fourth, but he never told me i was smart or that he appreciated my drive in life. He had no education not even a high school degree. He had a good job because of his father however, zero knowledge and super stubborn. It was not his fault that while i spent my years studying he spent them drinking and womanizing, it was my fault for achieving what i did in life. He destroyed me my sense of self, the little love i had for myself. we broke up not so long ago in a very bad way (2 weeks) he is now with another woman. She is beautiful, just his style, i saw they together holding hands. She is vulgar but gorgeous, something i cannot match to. I feel i cant go on. I never thought he would cheat or lie he always made me believe i was the liar and i did everything wrong and now reality punched me in the face. The job i have been offered and just accepted yesterday after 7 months of interviewing is in the same city he works, we were supposed to move there together. He thinks the offer got cancelled and i will no longer go. I know very well it would sting him if he knew and he might be coming back but i cannot take him back. I hate myself, i am depressed, i feel i cannot go on, i am so afraid of moving alone to that city where i have so many bad memories in. I just want to hide. I cry all the time. Can barely function at work (thank god i am about to resign), i have self harmed to numb my pain. And all i think about is that he is 5 buildings away from my house in the apartment we chose for him together because he wanted to be close to me but i could not move in with him as he was abusive and i said he needed to change. He is there on the bed we chose together with this other woman. and i feel i am going crazy! i feel i am worthless. I have a shrink appointment today and i am already on anti anxiety pills. My birthday is in three days, 5 days ago was our anniversary for which he never showed up. and here i am....shattered!


Votes:


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New Comment

Comments:
By anonymous at 15,Mar,12 23:35

you're a smart and ambitious girl. you're going to let some stupid man ruin all of that? who gives a fuck where the fuck he lives with some dumb bimbo? you are BETTER than him. don't let anyone make you feel bad about yourself. obviously you were TOO SMART FOR HIM AND HE FELT INTIMIDATED SO HEN GOT SOME DUMB BIMBO TO MAKE HIM FEEL LIKE THE "MAN."

why are you crying over this loser? you can do better. don't waste a second more of your time wondering what he thinks of you or if he thinks of you going to that job or being near him cuz truth is honey, he is over it and NOT thinking about you. YOU SHOULD DO THE SAME. GOOD LUCK.


By Truth at 16,Mar,12 17:15

I wrote a birthday poem for you!

I had it all but things now suck
My ex has a hottie he loves to fuck
I am gross compared to her
You could say I'm dogshit, as it were

So now I sit and cry all day
Kill myself, I just may!
But until then I'll post some more
because I am a fucking whore


By anonymous at 16,Mar,12 18:55

Get over it and move on. Don't let it ruin your life. Just keep your head up and be happy. Maybe you will even find someone better as well.


By anonymous at 17,Mar,12 03:04

I am so sorry. I know what that feels like first hand. People say get over it but that's easy for them to say when they're not hurting. It sucks that you are going through all of this but you are not alone. I feel for you because my wife had put me through so much of the same. I really don't understand how people are capable of being so hurtful without remorse. Good luck. Unfortunately the mourning process is something we can't avoid.


By Diana Brown at 19,Mar,12 13:29

My name is Diana i am from United States, I was in a relationship with Ben and we loved and cherished ourselves for 3 good years and every thing was going on smoothly but February 14, 2012 a day i can call a lovers day we both had misunderstanding because i answered a call from a guy that is asking me out for a date but i refused,and he told me that the relationship is over and that he is fed up with me and i begged him because i love him so much but he refused me i was so down cast and i felt the world has come to an end for me but my friend told me about a spell caster that helped her sister out in getting her relationship back,a good job and favor in any of her endeavor but at first i was scared but i have to give this man a trial because i love Ben very much and i am not willing to loose him to any woman,so i ordered returning my love spell from this great spell caster that made me a happy woman again to say it all my ex came back to me with much love and a caring heart...i am testifying to this great spell caster Prophet of Goddess. if you need his help you can contact him on prophetofgoddess@yahoo.com or spells.prophetofgoddess@gmail.com or visit www.prophetofgoddess.com


By Stephanie at 27,Mar,12 22:49

Just a quick note to mention how great I think it is that this is iacropornted into the website. As Youth Leader at St G's I rarely get to hear Rev CJ's sermons as I'm involved with our youth group. I have really enjoyed taking time out of my Monday to hear the Word. Thanks CJ Scott Currie


By Mrs Rhonda at 06,Jul,12 02:06

AN EXCITING TESTIMONY ON A GOOD SPELL CASTER WHO BROUGHT MY HUSBAND BACK TO ME...
My name is Mrs Rhonda, and i live in South Africa.I have been through hell and pain,When my husband turned against our marriage,and sent me away,and said that he never wanted to see me again,because he was having an affair outside with another woman.I was finally confused,and so many thoughts came to my mind,when a friend finnally advice me to go and visit a spell caster,which i never believed.And as i was searching for a spell caster to help,I was scammed four{4} times,by some who claimed to be real spell casters.until i found the real and great spell caster "mindcastsolutiontemple@live.com" who helped me,and solved all my problems concerning my husband who left me since six months.and after that a friend of mine also complained of her husband too,who left her for over eight{8} months,So i linked her up with the same spell caster who helped me too,and the problem was also solved by the same spell caster "mindcastsolutiontemple@live.com" and the relationship was now stronger than how it were before. Whao!! the real and great spell caster is here,all you need to do now is to contact this same address whenever you are in any problem related to spell casting,or any thing that has to do with spell,or help.It took me a very long period of time,before i could get this real and great spell caster.So right now "mindcastsolutiontemple@live.com" is here,and the best for you to solve your problems that are bothering your mind..
Finally,thanks to "mindcastsolutiontemple@live.com" for bringing joy to my family...
"mindcastsolutiontemple@live.com".
Thanks.....


By Williams Smith at 06,Jul,12 02:10

THE SPELL CASTER THAT TURNED MY PAINS, SADNESS AND SORROW INTO JOY.
My names are Williams Smith, am from New York.why i am writing this testimony is because

i made a promised that who so ever help me out of my shit and predicament deserves to be known

by the world. Am 26 years of age my girlfriend left me some months ago that am a piece of old

cargo that there is nothing on earth that can bring our paths together as long as he breaths. I

felt really bad because i loved him so dearly' one day i came ac crossed some testimonies of

this priest called ebukashrinetemple, So i decided to give him a chance but immediately he told

me he was from Nigeria, i lost hope because i heard there are lots of scammers down there. but

when he told me things so personal which i knew was so secret that was only known to me then i

gave him a chance out of my doubting spirit but to my greatest surprise my girlfriend called me

three days latter that she is so sorry for all the pains she has made me pass through. presently

our love is more than that of romeo and Juliet lol. he takes good care of me now 100% than

before.And he's also specialized in solving all kinds of problems.So just give him a trial,and

you will understand what i am talking about.
Thank you so much priest ebukashrinetemple, here is the email address that turn my

pains, sadness and sorrow into joy: "ebukashrinetemple@gmail.com"
from Williams smith, New york..


By Thomsos at 23,Jul,12 23:50

Hi My name is “Thomson” just want to share my experience with the world on how i got my love back and saved my marriage… I was married for 3years with 2kids and we lived happily until things started getting ugly and we had fights and arguments almost every time… it got worse at a point that she filed for divorce… I tried my best to make her change her mind & stay with me cause i loved her with all my heart and didn’t want to loose her but everything just didn’t work out… she moved out of the house and still went ahead to file for divorce… I pleaded and tried everything but still nothing worked. The breakthrough came when someone introduced me to this wonderful, great spell caster TEMPLE OF LIVE who eventually helped me out… I have never been a fan of things like this but just decided to try reluctantly cause I was desperate and left with no choice… He did special prayers and used roots and herbs… Within 7 days she called me and was sorry for all the emotional trauma she had cost me, moved back to the house and we continue to live happily, the kids are happy too and we are expecting our third child… I have introduced him to a lot of couples with problems across the world and they have had good news… Just thought I should share my experience cause I strongly believe someone out there need’s it… You can email him templeoflive@gmail.com...


By Thomson at 23,Jul,12 23:51

Hi My name is “Thomson” just want to share my experience with the world on how i got my love back and saved my marriage… I was married for 3years with 2kids and we lived happily until things started getting ugly and we had fights and arguments almost every time… it got worse at a point that she filed for divorce… I tried my best to make her change her mind & stay with me cause i loved her with all my heart and didn’t want to loose her but everything just didn’t work out… she moved out of the house and still went ahead to file for divorce… I pleaded and tried everything but still nothing worked. The breakthrough came when someone introduced me to this wonderful, great spell caster TEMPLE OF LIVE who eventually helped me out… I have never been a fan of things like this but just decided to try reluctantly cause I was desperate and left with no choice… He did special prayers and used roots and herbs… Within 7 days she called me and was sorry for all the emotional trauma she had cost me, moved back to the house and we continue to live happily, the kids are happy too and we are expecting our third child… I have introduced him to a lot of couples with problems across the world and they have had good news… Just thought I should share my experience cause I strongly believe someone out there need’s it… You can email him templeoflive@gmail.com...


By Thomson at 24,Jul,12 00:33

Hi My name is “Thomson” just want to share my experience with the world on how i got my love back and saved my marriage… I was married for 3years with 2kids and we lived happily until things started getting ugly and we had fights and arguments almost every time… it got worse at a point that she filed for divorce… I tried my best to make her change her mind & stay with me cause i loved her with all my heart and didn’t want to loose her but everything just didn’t work out… she moved out of the house and still went ahead to file for divorce… I pleaded and tried everything but still nothing worked. The breakthrough came when someone introduced me to this wonderful, great spell caster TEMPLE OF LIVE who eventually helped me out… I have never been a fan of things like this but just decided to try reluctantly cause I was desperate and left with no choice… He did special prayers and used roots and herbs… Within 7 days she called me and was sorry for all the emotional trauma she had cost me, moved back to the house and we continue to live happily, the kids are happy too and we are expecting our third child… I have introduced him to a lot of couples with problems across the world and they have had good news… Just thought I should share my experience cause I strongly believe someone out there need’s it… You can email him templeoflive@gmail.com...


By anonymous at 24,Jul,12 17:48

testimony

I had to write back and say what an amazing experience I had with dodogodssolution@yahoo.com. l am tina. I was desperate for a kind and gentle man to enter my life when I ran into your email doing some surfing. I had a phone consultation with Dr dodogods and I found him to be so helpful, gentle and reassuring. Within a couple of weeks, I met a guy in a dance club who really swept me off my feet. I’ve been with him for several months now and we seem to be the perfect couple. All it took was one visit to Dr dodogods and my life is as good as it has ever been. I need to thank Dr.dodogods for caring about me enough to send me such a wonderful and powerful spell.thanks post by David


By grudin at 18,Aug,12 09:08

I never really believed in any of these things but when I was losing Mark, I needed help and somewhere to turn badly.I Visit: esangopriest@hotmail.com and i ordered a LOVE SPELL. 2 days later, my phone rang. Mark was his old self again and wanted to come back to me! Not only come back, the spell caster opened him up to how much I loved and needed him. Spell Casting isn't brainwashing, but they opened his eyes to how much we have to share together. I recommend anyone who is in my old situation to try it. It will bring you a wonderful surprises as well as your lover back to you. The way things were meant to be." you can contact the spell caster on-- esangopriest@hotmail.com he's very nice and great.


By Miss rose at 19,Nov,12 01:50

I recently saw a testimony about a spell caster of some sort in a blog I visit for relationship and dating counseling problems because i had been having serious issues with my boyfriend and we had been dating for six months,he just suddenly changed,he was returning my calls,he started cheating,he was hurting me in so many ways i never thought possible and I just thought I should try it maybe out of desperation of some sort ..and I contacted them..At first everything felt dreamy and unbelievable,their consultations and solution was a little bit easy and strange and I was scared a little cos I heard read and heard lots of stories of fake spell casters,scams and i never really believed in magic..I played along with a little hope and and faith and I was sent some few stuffs after everything and it worked like a miracle,everything went to a while new direction,it was and is amazing…I guess it was all good faith that made me read That particular post that faithful day..I hope they could help other people too like they did me…I did a little and I got everything I wanted and wished for my husband,my family and my life back their address is; templeoflive@gmail.com


By miss rose juckin at 19,Nov,12 02:37

Hello my name is Miss rose juckin, I’m from Brazil. I want to inform you all that there is a spell caster that is genuine and real.I never really believed in any of these things but when I was losing Jackson, I needed help and somewhere to turn badly. I found consultant.Templeoflive@gmail. com and i ordered a LOVE SPELL. Several days later, my phone rang. Jackson was his old self again and wanted to come back to me! Not only come back, the spell caster opened him up to how much I loved and needed him. Spell Casting isn’t brainwashing, but they opened his eyes to how much we have to share together. I recommend anyone who is in my old situation to try it. It will bring you a wonderful surprises as well as your lover back to you. The way things were meant to be.” you can contact the spell caster on– templeoflive@gmail.com he’s very nice and great.


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